Fate Loves the Fearless
by BuildingAnEmpire
Summary: AU. Tiva. Ziva's on the run with Tony. Picks up after Season 10 leaves off and chronicles 2 years in the future. Fluff with a plot and a smattering of smut.
1. One

**Author's Note:** This is my first NCIS story so I hope I have characterization correct (mostly?). I do not ever use a beta so all mistakes are mine. This story flips back and forth between present time (two years in the future) and past events. It's pretty obvious since I included dates but also past tense is in italics. Also fair warning, this story is going places (and by that I mean there is so much middle to this story it'll rival Moby Dick). Also, this story is dedicated to screamerdavid because she made me an awesome gif. :)

**Summary:** AU. Two years after the end of Season 10 and Ziva is on the run. TIVA. Sorry not much of a summary but I can't without spoiling the whole thing. Mostly rated T with a smattering of M (very heavy M at times).

**Spoilers:** Through Season 10.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing aside from my story idea. We all know who owns these characters and we're none too happy about it at the moment.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 22, 2015.

"Tony?" Former NCIS Special Agent Ziva David attempted, unsuccessfully, to keep the tremor out of her voice as she quietly called her former partner's name. Still she stayed down despite her increasing need for societal contact, crouched underneath a makeshift tent of leaves and sticks. It had become home to her in the last month due to the proximity to the river which emptied into the waterfall miles away. Ziva had come across many rivers in the last 10 months and had tried to navigate using waterways alone; which hadn't proven too easy despite her training as she quickly realized just how many rivers the state of Maryland had. This one, however, was easy for her. Gunpowder Falls. Which meant that soon she would be in southern Pennsylvania.

It was mid November now which Ziva knew by making marks every night on one of the business cards she had kept stashed in her backpack and also because it was cold and the air smelled of falling leaves and snow, which meant that soon she would need to find real shelter before the snow actually began falling. The further North she continued would mean higher chances of snowfall sooner rather than later. It was unfortunate luck that her path had led her North rather than South but she hadn't dared turn around; Tony had told her not to.

Now, Ziva shook with anticipation. She knew Tony was there. He had to be. She felt that all too familiar feeling stir in the pit of her stomach. It was a feeling she had grown accustomed to in the 8 years they had worked together. Now, when she hadn't seen him in nearly 10 months, the feeling was undeniable.

"Zi?" Her heart lept when she heard his voice echoing off the trees. She scrambled upright, leaving her bag behind as she moved toward the voice. The leaves crunched underneath her boots as she frantically searched through the heavily wooded area.

"Tony!" This time she didn't care about the emotion in her voice. She felt the beginnings of tears well in her eyes as she moved toward the voice calling her name again. She could hear him moving too and her heart thudded loudly in her ears. Ziva kept moving toward the river, she knew he had followed the waterways, knowing she was, and he was probably not too far off of the riverbank. When she spotted him a few yards away, carrying a rucksack much larger than he, eyes searching for her, she broke out in a grin and a run. She clambered quickly over fallen tree branches and nearly barren bushes. Ziva threw herself at Tony once she was close enough to ensure that he would catch her. She heard him wheeze as she crashed into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso and burying her face in his large winter coat.

"Tony." She sobbed against his chest. There was a time when she would have cared about showing such emotion, especially in front of Tony. But now, now she felt as though she could cry for days as long as he was there to hold her and kiss the top of her head just like he was doing at the moment.

"Ziva." Tony whispered into her hair and pulled back, moving his hands to her face to look at her. Ziva blinked, letting the unshed tears fall onto her dirty cheeks. Tony grinned and kissed the tip of her nose before wiping the tears away and pulling her back in.

They stood like that for what seemed like ages before Ziva pulled back, grasping the sides of his coat. "We should, uh, take shelter, yes?"

Tony grinned at her and nodded before allowing Ziva to take his hand to maneuver them toward her makeshift shelter. Once there she sat down, looking up to him when he hadn't moved or spoken.

"Tony?" Concern filled her voice. He hadn't said anything aside from her name since she saw him and alarm bells began to go off in her head. "What is wrong?"

Tony shook his head and looked down at her before taking the rucksack off and dropping it to the ground. "Nothing. I just thought that maybe you would like a better shelter for the night." He grinned and motioned to the discarded pack. "I have a tent in there."

Ziva nodded, letting the worry about his behavior take a back seat to her excitement over the prospect of proper shelter. "Oh yes, I would like that very much."

Tony bent down and began pulling out the materials needed for the tent and made quick work of setting it up, allowing Ziva to tie the appropriate knots. Once assembled, Tony grabbed the sleeping bag attached to the bottom of his pack and motioned for Ziva to climb into the tent. She kicked her shoes off outside before crawling in and sprawling out. Tony followed suit, pulling the sleeping bag over them.

Ziva shivered as she curled up against Tony's side, her left arm resting across his chest.

"You cold?" He spoke into her hair.

Ziva shook her head. "No. This is nice." She let her cheek rest in the crook of his arm as he pulled her in tighter to him, obviously not believing that she wasn't still cold. They stayed that way until the sun had completely set and they could hear the faint call of an owl in the distance before Ziva broke the silence.

"I have...missed you." She craned her neck, trying to see his face in the darkness but could only feel the rise and fall of his chest. She was suddenly afraid that he had met someone in the time she had been away and was only here now to help her as her partner for a short period before returning to his life. The thought terrified her. Even if she truly had no claim to him.

"I missed you too, Sweetcheeks." Ziva let herself smile at the familiar nickname before something else dawned on her. Her stomach flipped and she gripped the soft flannel of Tony's shirt.

"Tony?" Ziva whispered into his neck.

"Hmm?" Ziva could tell he was close to sleep now but she had to ask one last question. She had to know.

"Where is she?" Ziva had asked so softly that she wasn't sure Tony had even heard her. He was taking so long to answer that the knot in the pit of her stomach was growing by the minute and she nearly opened her mouth to ask again when he spoke.

"With Gibbs." His reply was short and to the point and it was clear she wasn't going to get any more information from him tonight so she nodded and let her eyes drift closed. She had spent the better part of each day for 10 months thinking about this and one more day to have her questions answered wouldn't hurt.

Ziva let her eyes drift closed, the exhaustion finally catching up with her, and hoped that tonight would allow her some peace, finally.

* * *

_January 28, 2015._

_NCIS Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo brought the truck to a screeching stop by the edge of an embankment along the Potomac River, quickly shutting off the engine and hopping out of the car. He glanced to his right, making sure that his partner, Ziva David, got out of the truck as well. He grabbed her hand when she caught up to him and they made their way down the embankment toward the river. When they were well off any path Tony stopped and looked around, making sure they hadn't been followed. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. _

"_Follow the Potomac until you get into Rockville or Bowie. After that go East until you find the Chesapeake Bay. You'll be able to take various waterways North from there. Remember not to stay in one place too long. Keep going North. I'll find you. I promise." He whispered into her ear and she nodded. _

_Ziva wasn't going to tell him that she was trained for this. That she had spent months in the wilderness before. That her father used to play games with her and her siblings which required them to disappear in the wilderness until they found their flag and returned triumphantly without being caught. She wouldn't tell him any of this because this time she was afraid. This time she wasn't sure that she would return triumphantly without being caught._

"_Tony?" There were so many things she wanted to say that she hadn't and was now terrified that she would never get the chance to but he stopped her by placing his lips on her mouth hard. _

_When he pulled away he looked into her eyes. "Zi, whatever you do, don't turn around. Don't go back. Promise me." _

_His eyes were frantic and she could tell that he was every bit as terrified as she was. "I promise." _

_He pulled her back in to him and kissed the top of her head, smoothing his hands down her hair. She could tell he was remembering her and it broke her heart. "Tony, I..."_

_He cut her off and pulled back, looking into her eyes. "No. Don't. Tell me when I come for you." _

_She stared at him a beat before relenting. "Okay." _

_He kissed her again before pulling back and letting go. "Stay safe. You promised, okay?" He waited for her to nod before turning around and climbing up the embankment, leaving Ziva there to stare after him._

_Once she could no longer see his retreating figure, Ziva ran and she didn't stop._


	2. Two

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It means a lot to me! It's hard to continue to write not knowing how people feel or having input as to what they want to see so please keep the reviews coming! :)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything except the story idea.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 23, 2015.

Ziva woke with a start, sweat accumulating at the base of her neck despite the cold temperature. She reached blindly for her gun but was held down by an arm wrapped firmly around her. She panicked and began to struggle.

"Zi?" Tony's confused voice broke through her haze.

"Tony?" She stopped struggling and rolled over on top of his chest, her legs falling to each side of his hips. She grasped his shirt firmly, holding herself in place and grounding her racing thoughts.

Ziva felt both of his arms come around her back, his hands beginning to rub up and down, soothing her. "I'm right here."

His voice was soothing and Ziva buried her head in his neck. They stayed this way until the sun began to peek through the horizon. Tony was the first to speak.

"We gotta move. It isn't safe here anymore." Ziva nodded against him, knowing this. She had been here too long already. Begrudgingly she moved off of him, getting her bearings before crawling out of the tent into the cool morning air. She stretched as she listened to Tony rustling around inside the tent before he crawled out with the sleeping bag in hand. They put their shoes on in sync and began to disassemble the tent.

"So, we need to head a little West. A buddy of mine has a family cabin on the Pennsylvania line. It's secluded and we'll be safe there for a while." Tony explained, helping Ziva with her backpack before grabbing the rucksack he had just finished packing back up.

"Chad?" Ziva questioned, giving him a sideways glance as they started walking north through the trees. It was the only friend of his whose name she could readily think of.

"Yeah. It'll only take about an hour to get there from here. It isn't far." Tony followed only a step behind.

"You do not think he will spill the rice?" Ziva's eyes narrowed as she turned to look at him. She herself never would have trusted in that man and was trying to figure out why Tony readily did.

"Beans. And no, I called him from a burn phone. Asked him about the cabin and told him not to ever call my cell phone again." Tony paused to adjust the heavy backpack before moving again. "We hadn't spoken in at least a year before that. If they are thinking about finding you or us through my friends, that'll take them into the middle of next year easily. I'm not worried."

She knew the last comment was for her benefit. He was telling her that she shouldn't be worried either. Ziva couldn't help it though, she'd been worried for the last 10 months straight. She had been running so long and so hard that she just wanted to stop. Wanted to rest. Wanted to go home.

"Okay." Ziva sighed. It was all she could offer.

They continued this way for the next hour, mostly in silence, until Tony lightly brushed her hand for her to follow him out of the woods. She was hesitant at first but when the only thing they came to was a tiny dirt road Ziva's anxiety over being caught lifted some and she easily followed Tony along the path. When they came to a fork in the road Tony paused for a moment before taking the one to the right and continuing up what now clearly seemed to be a driveway. A few moments later she could see the beginnings of a roof in the distance.

Ziva watched as Tony pulled a key from a side pocket before they made their way to the top of the driveway. She followed closely as he went to the door, inserting the key and turning. Ziva let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding as the door swung open and Tony motioned for her to stay behind him. He pulled out his Sig and raised it, entering slowly while Ziva followed suit behind him. Once they were satisfied that they were the only two there, weapons were stashed away and Ziva made her way to the couch. She flopped down with an audible sigh, relishing in the comfort she hadn't felt in so long.

"Oh god, this is amazing." Ziva groaned as she snuggled further down into the soft couch cushion as Tony locked the door behind them.

"Well now there's a string of words I haven't heard together in far too long." Tony joked, dropping the rucksack near the front door and kicking off his boots.

Ziva chuckled before motioning for him to join her. Tony climbed over top of her before settling against the back of the couch, spooning her from behind. He let his hand drop to her stomach, rubbing small circles as he kissed the back of her neck. Ziva closed her eyes and hummed.

"Tony?" She whispered to him after a while.

"Hmm?" He mumbled into her hair.

"I miss her." Ziva paused, not wanting the emotion to overpower her like it had so many nights during her travels. "So much."

Tony pulled her in tighter, kissing the top of her head. She turned in his arms, facing him and he rubbed her back with one hand while taking her other in his own, lacing their fingers. "I know. I'm sorry."

It was all he could offer. Comfort and apologies.

* * *

August 12, 2013.

_For mid-August the air was unusually hot and sticky even though the sun had set a half an hour ago. Ziva David craned her neck to look around at the beautiful lights of the annual carnival. She had to admit that even she was struck by the romanticism of an end-of-summer carnival, despite the sugary-sweet smell in the air and loud obnoxious sirens that signaled a new winner every 5 minutes. She had only come here to stop the week-long incessant whining of her friends that she, finally after 8 years, experience an all American summer past-time. Ziva had groaned and thrown what nearly amounted to a tantrum at the time but now she was glad she had finally given in and allowed them to drag her here. And if she was really honest with herself it wasn't like she had anything better to do with her days anymore anyway. She really hadn't bothered to look for a job the last three months and it was only partially due to the sizable unemployment check she kept receiving despite never having applied for it. The truth was, she really had no desire to find new employment and get to know new co-workers because her loyalties would always be with Tony and Tim and Abby and Ducky and even Jimmy. For Ziva David, loyalties could not be fashioned with the flip of a switch, only broken. Even if she hadn't seen or spoken to any of them in three whole months, it didn't mean that she didn't often think about them._

_So when she heard the calling of her name coming from a distinctly male voice, Ziva initially assumed it was one of her fantasies breaking through to reality again. She blinked before glancing out of the corner of her eye at her friends beside of her. Ziva's heart began thudding in her chest as she looked to them, eyes all flickering between her and somewhere off behind her as they waited for her to catch up and acknowledge that someone was calling her name. She closed her eyes and turned, hoping that when she opened them it would be who she wanted it to be and not just her having heard what she wanted to hear._

_When she opened her eyes again, having made a full 180 turn, she was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a familiar grin less than 20 feet away from her. She only became aware of her movements after she had crossed one-half of the distance, ignoring her friends' questioning faces and whispers. He met her halfway and once they were within inches of each other they stopped, never breaking eye contact. Ziva placed a hand on his chest, relishing in the familiar feel of him. Suddenly his arms were around her, pulling her in, his face burrowing in her long locks. She gasped at his tight grasp before snaking her arms around his torso and breathing in his scent. It had really been too long without him and that thought made her heart ache so much that tears welled up in her eyes. She sniffed and he pulled back._

_She could see the familiar traces of pooling moisture in his eyes as well but he only smiled at her and raised a hand to her cheek. "Zi…"_

_He paused and she wasn't really sure if it was because he didn't know what to say or because he was holding back what he really wanted to say, just as they had done so many other times. Now Ziva wondered what their problem really was. Three long months of no Rule 12 to stop them from confessing what she knew they both felt but in that same time they hadn't even spoken at all. She didn't voice her concerns but continued to stare into his eyes, attempting their long-forgotten method of communication._

"_Hey, man…" A tall, tan, blonde man with blue eyes had approached and was now standing to Tony's right, eyeing the situation. Ziva broke the eye contact to turn her attention to the man in question. _

"_Oh, hey, Chad…" Tony 's voice seemed confused for a moment before he dropped his arms from around her and continued. "This is Ziva."_

"_Ohhh Ziva…" Chad let his voice trail off as he grinned at Tony before turning his attention back to Ziva and offering her his hand, "Really nice to meet you."_

_Ziva let her eyes flicker back to Tony in question before taking the hand offered and shaking it. "Likewise, I am sure."_

_She smiled at Chad and stole a quick glance at Tony, noticing the red tint to his cheeks and deciding against saying anything at the moment. She could feel her friends' eyes bore into her so she turned and waved her hand to beckon them over. _

_Once they had converged upon the three of them, Ziva motioned to Tony. "This is, uh, Tony." Her eyes bore into them, urging them to be polite. _

"_Hi Tony." Their voices chorused together and Ziva groaned inwardly. The greeting was so fake and she knew that she would be hearing about this from them for weeks._

"_I'm Chad." The blonde offered a dimple-showing grin as he eyed Ziva's friends. Ziva rolled her eyes. She could definitely see now why he and Tony were friends. Although Tony had grown up over the years and clearly this guy wasn't planning to any time soon._

_The other three men in Tony's group had finally decided to make their way over, obviously having previously decided to be less rude than their friend Chad. Tony placed a hand on the small of Ziva's back before addressing them. "Guys, this is Ziva."_

_Once introductions were dispensed with, the group idly wandered through the carnival before deciding on the ferris wheel. As they paired off, Ziva held back, eyeing the monstrosity before her. Tony brushed her elbow. "You okay?"_

_Ziva bit her lip and motioned toward the ride. "Is this… safe?" _

_Tony's eyebrows knitted together. "No, of course not. Haven't you ever been on a ferris wheel before?" _

_Ziva felt sheepish all of a sudden and shrugged her shoulders. Her temper flared at the embarrassment. "No, Tony, of course not." She mimicked his wording._

_She felt him sling an arm around her shoulders and the anger quickly dissipated. "Don't worry," He started, guiding her on the platform behind her friends. "With your Mossad ninja skills and my…handsomely charming good looks, we'll be fine."_

_Ziva rolled her eyes at him. It was obvious that he was joking just to make her smile and she could feel the stirrings of something deep in her stomach. She let him take her hand to guide her into the basket before she sat down. He slid onto the seat beside of her and pulled the bar down, effectively locking them in. The attendant came to lock the outside before the wheel began to move forward, allowing others to move on or off. Ziva gripped the metal bar as they moved higher._

"_Relax and I won't tell anyone that an assassin is scared of a ride made for children and old people who wear diapers." Tony placed a comforting hand on her knee, letting her know that he wasn't truly being serious._

"_Am not." Ziva said defiantly. Though it was somewhat deflated as the truth was that she was a little scared; the whole ride didn't even seem secure and one wrong move could send her and Tony plummeting to their death. She looked up at the seat above her at the bottom of her friend's feet. Or, their shoes could fall off and beam one of them in the head resulting in a nasty concussion. Ziva shivered involuntarily. _

"_Cold?" Tony asked, rubbing his hand to create friction on her thigh._

_Ziva shook her head. Trying not to consider all of the other things his hand could be doing instead of keeping her leg warm. "No."_

_They climbed higher until they were at the very top of the ride overlooking the entire carnival and half of the town. Tony turned in the seat, causing it to rock gently. "Look."_

_Ziva followed his gaze and was awestruck at just how beautiful it really was to be this high and looking out over the expanse. She placed her hand in his, lacing their fingers, and murmured. "Beautiful."_

"_Yes, it is." But when Ziva turned her head to look at him, the only thing he was looking at was her._


	3. Three

**Author's Note:** You all are wonderful. Thank you so much for the reviews, I am very excited to see that people are excited about this story! Sorry, this chapter really doesn't answer anything yet but it begins to piece together my idea of how I think they dealt with the Parsons thing. Do not worry my little honeybears, your questions will all be answered in time (a short time I know because I've already written the chapters in which I do and I've only written through Chapter 7). Please keep letting me know how you feel about the story, I love reading and considering what you write to me!

**Disclaimer:** I'm an attorney and I violated about 5 different ethical rules in the flashback. I'm not sorry.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 24, 2015.

"Zi?" Tony's voice was an octave above a whisper so as not to startle the sleeping brunette in his arms.

"Mmm?" Ziva mumbled through a sleepy haze. She hadn't gotten much sleep recently and now that she felt safe, here with Tony, all she wanted to do was sleep until this nightmare was over.

"Why don't you take a shower while I figure out what there is to eat here?" He was looking down at her when she opened her eyes, meeting his.

"Are you trying to tell me that I do not smell… pleasant?" While Ziva knew that she smelt, in all likelihood, awful, she did not want to hear that from him of all people.

Tony chuckled. "You know I lo…" He paused, his smile falling from his face as he caught himself. "I just know that you will feel a lot better if you shower."

Ziva nodded, averting her eyes, clearly hurt by his almost confession. Things obviously hadn't changed very much. She allowed him to kiss the tip of her nose before she stood. She was nearly to the bathroom door before she turned around. He was now sitting up, his head in his hands. "You can tell me, you know."

He lifted his head to look at her even though her voice had been so soft that he could have easily pretended he hadn't heard her. "I know." It was halfhearted, as if he really didn't believe that he could. Or maybe it was that he didn't believe that he _should_, Ziva wasn't sure anymore.

She shook her head and continued toward the bathroom. "Okay."

Thirty minutes later Ziva reemerged from the shower, sporting only a towel having forgotten a change of clothes. Not that any of the clothes she did still have were that clean, her only option having been 'washing' them in the river. How she longed for a simple clean t-shirt and cargo pants.

"Hey." Tony's voice floated from the kitchen and she turned to see him leaning against the entryway watching her.

"Hey." Ziva glanced sheepishly at the floor.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." He raised his eyebrows at her demeanor. The old Ziva would have walked through the house naked as the day she was born without a care in the world.

Ziva blushed but looked back up at him. "I…really do not have any clean clothing."

Tony used his shoulder to push himself from the entryway and walked toward her, spatula still in hand. "I figured as much so I put some of your clothes in my bag before I left. You may have to dig around a bit."

His voice was quiet as he stopped in front of her. Before she knew what was happening he had grabbed the front of her towel and pulled her in before pressing his lips hard against her own. She moaned into his mouth, giving him better access. She had missed this so much that when he pulled away she whimpered embarrassingly.

"Pancakes will burn." He gave her a quick peck on the lips before letting go of her towel and moving back to the kitchen.

Ziva stood there for another moment, staring at the empty doorway before heading toward the rucksack, the first real smile on her lips in a year.

* * *

_October 24, 2013._

"_Marry her." Gibbs' voice was commanding but soft, as if knowing there would be opposition and realizing the potential consequences of this order._

"_WHAT?" Ziva and Tony yelled in unison. This was certainly a shock in more ways than one. Ever since the night at the carnival they had been testing the waters but neither had really been bold enough to make much of a move. They had simply gone back to their usual routine, though Tony's apartment had definitely seen much more of Ziva the last few months. And while they had kissed feverishly sometimes when they awoke to find themselves tangled up together having fallen asleep on the couch after a movie marathon, nothing more had ever come of it. _

_Gibbs had been holed up in his cabin for months following the fall-out from Parson's investigation. The team had been only recently coming to see him at his request in order to figure out what was going to happen and plan for what they knew. Now, after months of digging, it seemed as though the FBI finally had enough to indict both Ziva and Tony on international espionage charges. Gibbs had mulled this over for the last two months, attempting to figure out how he could get the two of them out of this predicament considering that he had condoned their actions at the time as their boss. Hell, even Vance had given his blessing. This was the only option that he, with a little help, was able to come up with. _

"_I said, marry her." The order was unwavering as he sat on the couch, resuming his current hobby of drinking bourbon and staring out of the window._

"_I heard what you said Boss, but maybe you need to stop drinking and go out and get some fresh air. You aren't making any sense." Tony argued from his position by the door._

"_Tony." Ziva admonished. While she too thought Gibbs' order was shocking even for him, she still felt a sense of loyalty to the man who was like a father to her. He still had her respect at least._

_Gibbs stood, placing the glass down on the table and coming to stand in front of Tony, challenging him. Tony didn't back down, instead folding his arms underneath his chest as if to prove a point._

"_You can't just tell me who I can and can't marry." Tony sounded like a petulant child. Gibbs squinted._

"_He didn't, technically. But if I were you, I would follow his orders." Both Tony and Ziva's heads swung around toward the intruder. Gibbs continued to stare at Tony, obviously already fully aware of the intruder's presence. _

"_Oh great, you're breaking one of your own stupid rules but _**_we_**_ still have to abide by all of them? Fantastic." Tony's sarcasm was beginning to annoy Ziva and she turned to glare at him._

"_Your sarcasm is noted, Mr. Dinozzo." Ziva went to correct her but realized that the effort was futile. He wasn't an Agent anymore. And for that matter, neither was Ziva._

"_Ms. Hart, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Ziva was hesitant to trust this woman even if Gibbs did._

"_As Gibbs was oh so eloquently saying, you have two options between the both of you. One, you both go to prison for a very, very long time. Two, you get married and invoke your privilege to refuse to testify against the other, thereby forcing them to drop the case due to lack of evidence. I suppose it is your choice, but if I were looking at Gitmo, I would definitely choose the latter." M. Allison Hart crossed the living room to stand near the couch._

_Ziva looked to Tony who tore his eyes away from Gibbs when he felt her stare. "We'll give you two a minute." The brunette attorney moved toward Gibbs, grabbing his elbow as she passed. _

"_Ten minutes." Gibbs huffed as he was led out of the front door to his own home._

_Once the door clicked shut behind them Tony moved toward Ziva, holding her gaze. "Ziva, this isn't how…"_

_He stopped short leaving Ziva to only guess what he was going to finish with. She tried to fill in and make the decision for him. "You do not have to do this for me. I will… perjure myself, yes? And say whatever I need to so that you do not go to prison. But I cannot… I cannot allow you to marry me just so that I do not go to prison. This was my vengeance. I am sorry I dragged you into it."_

_She felt horrible for the predicament that Tony was in just because he wanted to help his partner. She should not have allowed him to accompany her to Berlin. But now it was too late and she had to at least try to fix the disaster she had caused. The tears were imminent and Ziva could feel her chin begin to waver. She tried to steady her breath and fought to continue to look into his piercing eyes. They always said too much._

"_Really Ziva? No." Ziva saw something different flash in his eyes. "No, that's just not going to work for me. I'm marrying you. You don't have a choice this time."_

"_But Tony…" Her renewed attempt at convincing him otherwise was really only half-assed at best. She needed him on some kind of molecular level and even if this was a horrendously bad idea personally, professionally and for their "relationship," she couldn't wholeheartedly deny that she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with Tony even if she hadn't given it more than a passing thought before now._

"_At lo levad, remember?" He folded her into his arms._

_Ziva nodded against his chest. "Yes." She finally allowed the tears to spill over her lashes and onto her cheeks before pressing her face more fully into his chest. "Yes, I remember." _


	4. Four

**Author's Note: ** Wow, thank you all for the wonderful reviews! It really means a lot to me and I love reading them all! I have spent a lot of time mapping this story out recently and it's probably going to have 30 chapters (maybe more). So if it seems slow now that's because it's only Chapter 4 of 30, so do not worry, I promise to answer ALL of your questions! Because this Chapter doesn't answer ANY of your questions (sorry again!) I have offered a compromise: smut and fluff! Enjoy :)

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything, imagine that? Any mistakes are mine alone!

**Warnings:** This Chapter is most definitely rated M (for smut). If you are underage or do not want to read that, please skip to the flashback in italics, you really won't miss anything!

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 24, 2015.

They ate their pancakes in relative silence. Mostly because Ziva was so hungry for real food that she couldn't stop eating for the first twenty minutes to even allow herself to speak. Now there was so much to say that she wasn't even sure where to start. She put her fork down and cleared her throat; at least she would try.

"So, do you have a...plan?" She wasn't sure that he did but it was the first question that came out of her mouth anyway.

"Sort of." Tony shrugged and took a sip of his water. "I figured we would stay here for a few months until Gibbs figured it out."

Ziva chuckled loudly before picking her fork back up. "Naturally."

"You have something against staying here with me?" There was a glint in his eye that she couldn't quite place.

Ziva shook her head and offered him a smile. "Not at all."

"Good. So then, that's settled." Tony unceremoniously shoved the last bite of his pancake in his mouth before standing up and clearing the empty dishes from the table and taking them into the kitchen. Ziva frowned and followed him, watching him dump them into the sink before he leaned against it, his arms supporting himself.

Ziva watched him another moment before finding her voice. "Did you..."She trailed off before clearing her throat and trying again. "Did you find someone...else?" Else. New. Someone. She wasn't sure which it was anymore and she honestly hadn't for so long. She just wanted answers as to why he was acting so different toward her now when they had been finally going somewhere before she was forced to leave.

Tony turned abruptly, startling Ziva. He was on her so fast that she hadn't even been able to catch her breath before he was grabbing the back of her head and pulling her toward his lips. It was passionate and raw and so full of need that it momentarily scared Ziva. She tried to pull away but his hands were grasping at her sweatpants, pulling them down, and she didn't want him to stop. Tony maneuvered them back to the dining table and she tripped over the sweatpants as they bunched around her ankles. He was holding her so tightly, so fiercely, that she wasn't afraid to fall when she suddenly found herself being hoisted up, her bare ass planted firmly on the table. Tony broke away from her lips, moving instead to her neck and latching on to her collarbone. Ziva moaned, grabbing the back of his head to hold him there. Her other hand moved down to his own sweatpants and pushed on the one side before he took the hint and used his hands to yank his pants down, stepping out of them and kicking them to the side.

"Wait. We can't...I'm not..." Ziva started, unable to complete the thought. Her mind drifted back to a year and a half ago and she shook her head. They could not do this and that thought alone nearly reduced Ziva to tears.

Tony lifted his head before giving her a chaste kiss on the lips and moving quickly toward the door where his rucksack lie. Ziva watched him rummage around for a while before pulling out a familiar box. She breathed a sigh of relief when he came back to her, holding a square packet in his hand. She smiled brightly at him before he kissed her again, his tongue invading her mouth. The next minute he was gone again and by the time she had opened her eyes he was kneeling on the floor in front of her, yanking her toward the edge of the table.

"I just..." Tony seemed to be at a loss for words as he looked up at her, eyes full of need and near desperation. He held her thighs before positioning them over his shoulders and letting his mouth connect with her center. A few moments of his licking and sucking and Ziva was coming unraveled, gripping the back of his head. It was embarrassingly quick but she had been dreaming of this for so long that need overtook her body. He kissed her one last time before standing up and repositioning her legs around his hips.

Ziva blinked a few times, looking up at his smug grin. "That was..."

"I know." Tony smirked before leaning down and capturing her lips with his.

Ziva could taste herself on him and that encouraged her anew. She grasped him in her hands before reaching for the square packet lying next to her. Ripping it open she quickly fed it down his length before positioning him at her entrance. She could tell he was holding back and she looked up at him. Tony took her hands in his and lifted them above her head, threading his fingers between hers, before pushing his hips forward, entering her slowly.

"Oh god!" Ziva cried out, her back arching and hands gripping his so tightly she was sure he would have half-moon indents for days. He stilled for a moment before pulling out and thrusting back in, not as gently or slowly as before.

"Zi..." Ziva knew what he wanted so she released his hands, allowing him to grasp her hips, pulling her toward him hungrily.

"Harder, please." She wasn't sure why she was requesting that. With the pace he was going already she was sure she would have burns on her back later as the table was unrelenting on her sweaty back. But she needed something more. She needed him. Needed him to make her feel like _her_ again.

He obliged, pounding into her so hard that she was sure the table was going to collapse underneath them. Ziva eventually stopped trying to hold onto the table and reached down, her fingers moving exactly where she needed them. A few more thrusts and she was crying out, pulsing around him so hard it was almost painful. He was quick to follow, feeling her was all he ever seemed to need. Moments later he collapsed his weight on her and she wrapped her legs and arms tightly around him, holding onto him for dear life.

It wasn't until he kissed her cheek tenderly and brushed his fingers softly against the gold ring hanging around her neck that the sobs came.

* * *

_November 1, 2013._

"_So are we going to..." Ziva was unsure how to finish the sentence without causing an argument so she let Tony decipher what she was going to ask._

"_Tell him together?" They were steadily walking the mile hike to Gibbs' cabin after leaving their car parked on the side of the road. Their shoes scuffed the small pebbles underneath their feet as they made their way closer._

"_No. I mean, of course we will tell him together. I meant..." Ziva paused again, biting her lip, trying to find the right words._

_Tony stopped abruptly and turned toward her. "Just stop."_

_Ziva's head flew up at his tone. She looked him in the eye. It was rare that he became angry with her since the whole Michael incident years ago._

"_Just stop, okay?" He began again more quietly. "We are doing this." _

_His hands gripped her biceps and she nodded._

"_Besides, would it really be so bad to be married to me?" She could see the fear and disappointment in his eyes. Her heart broke and she opened her mouth to tell him that it wouldn't when he started again. "Maybe it would. But it only has to be this way until they drop this investigation or maybe until the statute of limitations runs. Either way, you can divorce me then."_

_His eyes dropped to the ground before flicking back up. He offered her a fake smile before turning back toward the cabin. Ziva stood there, mouth agape, before his words caught up to her and she hurried to catch up with him. When she reached him she slid her hand in his and squeezed._

"_It would not." It took him a minute to realize that she was answering his question. When he did he glanced at her sideways and caught her eye before giving her a toothy grin. _

_They walked the rest of the way in silence, holding hands, until they reached the porch. Tony opened the door and pulled Ziva in with him, eyes immediately searching the room for Gibbs. They landed on the couch where Gibbs was reading the newspaper. Ziva closed the door behind them with a soft click._

"_So?" The silver haired man asked without looking up. Obviously he had been expecting them._

"_We're going to do it." Tony informed him, hand gripping Ziva's tighter, a little more sweaty._

"_Thought so." Gibbs' eyes flickered toward their enjoined hands and he nodded before averting his eyes once again._

_Ziva moved to pull away but Tony held on even tighter. "But we have one condition." _

_Gibbs' eyebrows raised and he flipped the paper closed, giving them his attention. "Is that so?"_

_Both Tony and Ziva nodded unanimously. Ziva looked to Tony before responding. "We are not going to tell anyone that this is not real."_

_Gibbs squinted before nodding again and taking a sip of the coffee that sat on the table in front of him. He reopened his paper and sat back. Tony and Ziva looked at each other. Gibbs grinned without looking up. "So, when's the wedding?" _

_Three hours later when they were almost back to town Tony suddenly made a right turn, taking a side street and maneuvering the car down toward a marina. It was the middle of the night and November and Ziva was confused._

"_Tony, what are you doing?" Ziva asked, eyebrows furrowed and she tried to look out into the dark to see where they were going. She knew this wasn't the way they had taken to get there._

_Tony didn't answer but kept driving until he parked near the water. He got out and motioned for her to do the same before coming around to her side of the car and taking her hand. "Tony, you are worrying me. What are we doing here?"_

"_You'll see." Was all he responded with as he led them down onto the docks. The boards creaked underneath their feet as they walked out and over the water. At this time of year the marina was well-deserted and the only sounds were waves slowly crashing against the wood. Tony stopped them underneath a light before turning toward Ziva._

"_Look Ziva, I know..." Tony paused, eyes glancing at something off in the distance. "I know you deserve something real so I..."_

_Tony paused again and Ziva watched him as he fumbled with something in his coat pocket. Her mouth dropped open as she watched him drop down onto one knee, looking up at her. "Tony you..." She wanted to stop him._

_He cut her off. "This ring belonged to my mother and I've held onto it for so long because I never found the right girl. It wasn't Wendy and it wasn't Jeanne and I don't think it would have been anyone else either. Except you." He grinned up at her. "You're the kind of girl who would appreciate what this ring means. You're the kind of girl who deserves a ring like this. A ring with memories and love and belonging. I want you to have this. I want you to...marry me." _

_Tony held the ring up to her and she couldn't stop the tears. Her brain told her no, that this wasn't real and that he shouldn't give his most prized possession to someone whom he was marrying to stay out of prison. That maybe this wouldn't have been inevitable otherwise. But her heart was hammering a different tune. Her heart told her that they had loved each other for 8 years and that even though it was happening now, without the dating and the falling in love, it was inevitable. That she __**would **__appreciate the ring and live up to everything it stood for to him. It was her heart that made her nod her head and lift her hand when he reached for it._

_He slid the ring onto her finger and somehow it just fit, the three diamonds glinted off the light. Tony kissed the ring before standing and wrapping his arms around her. They stood that way, wrapped around each other, for another twenty minutes before Tony led them back to the car and home to begin their new journey._


	5. Five

**Author's Note**: Thank you, once again, for the wonderful reviews. They make me smile and I love you all! Please continue to let me know what you think, how you feel, what you want to see! I promise it makes a difference. And yes, Lyrander, we will get to see Tony's POV soon! :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 24, 2015.

Ziva was sitting in the wooden chair watching Tony as he pulled everything out of the rucksack and placed it on the table they had begrudgingly pulled themselves off of an hour earlier. She took a survey: multiple changes of clothes, twenty protein bars, an extensive first aid kit, three knives, four guns, a razor, what seemed to be a miniature fishing pole, a radio, flint, a lighter, five maps, and the folded tent they had slept in the night Tony had found her. Ziva grinned sheepishly as Tony threw the box of condoms on the table a moment later. He caught her eye and winked.

"I also have about ten thousand stashed randomly in each compartment." Tony motioned to the various other compartments on the rucksack that he had left closed.

"Ten thousand?" She could hardly even believe that ten thousand dollars could be stashed in the small space.

"I know, but I wasn't sure how long we would be...you know." Tony shrugged before beginning to pack things back up, leaving a change of clothes for each and the box of condoms out. He zipped the rucksack closed before chucking it carelessly to the floor and turning to Ziva. "I saw a wood pile when we were checking the place out yesterday so I'm gunna go bring in some wood for the fireplace before it gets too dark."

Ziva nodded and watched as he crossed the room, shoved his feet in his boots, donned his winter coat, and walked out of the front door. She looked around for a moment, having not really taken in her surroundings since they had arrived the previous day. The place was small but cozy and its inviting nature made Ziva feel relatively safe. Mostly, it reminded her of Gibbs' cabin on the other side of the State and it made her heart warm and tears prick her eyes. After some time, she stood and made her way over to the couch, picking up the discarded rucksack along the way. She had really wanted to see what else was in the smaller compartments, surely it couldn't just be cash. Ziva sat down before unzipping the top compartment. Cash. She closed it and moved on to the left side. More cash. Just as she was beginning to think that was really all Tony had put in the smaller storage spaces, she reached around to the back and felt through the lining. Decidedly not cash. Ziva frowned and unzipped the larger compartment before reaching in and feeling around. Definitely not cash. She pulled two packets out, placing the rucksack on the ground and the packets in her lap. She opened the top one. Pictures of her friends greeted her immediately. Abby. Ducky and Jimmy. Tim. Gibbs. Tears sprang to Ziva's eyes as she flipped through each one. Tim and Abby on a roller coaster. Jimmy and Breena with their adopted son, Andrew. Ducky holding Andrew. Gibbs glaring. Ziva was so engrossed in the photos that she failed to hear the door open and close and Tony enter until she went to open the second packet and heard his voice behind her.

"I'm not sure you want to do that right now." His voice was soft, as if comprehending something she herself hadn't yet. Ziva turned her head toward him, looking over her shoulder. A mix of confusion and embarrassment on her face.

"Trust me." Tony came to a stop by the arm of the couch and looked down at her, offering a small smile.

Ziva nodded, his eyes giving her some idea of what the other packet contained. She put the photos back into their rightful place, leaving only a photo of the entire group out, and returned both packets to the rucksack.

"I'm sorry, I..." Ziva trailed off. She wasn't really sorry but she wasn't sure if he was going to be upset with her for going through his things and since he was the only person she had and she really didn't feel like fighting with him now, she apologized.

"Don't be. It's fine. I was going to show them to you later tonight but it seems as though you got there first." He gave her a reassuring smile before turning around to walk back out of the door.

Ziva watched the open door for a moment before Tony came back in, arms full of fire wood. She continued to watch as Tony placed the wood by the fireplace before getting more and repeating the action another time. Finally he closed the door and made his way back over to the fireplace to begin starting a fire. The sun was now setting, creating a pink sheen over the cabin and Ziva was startled at how domestic it all seemed. She caught herself before the tears fell and rose from the couch to grab a throw from the closet. When she returned Tony had just gotten the fire going and she spread the blanket on the floor behind him.

"Oh yeah?" Tony's eyebrows rose at the blanket, giving her his trademark grin.

Ziva rolled her eyes before responding quietly. "Sit with me?"

Ziva sat, her back against the couch, and motioned for Tony to join her. He crawled over, setting himself in the same position as she, and they both watched the embers burn in content silence. Sometime later when the sun had set and the cabin was bathed only in the orange light from the fire, they had found themselves lying down, heads toward the fire and feet up on the couch.

Ziva turned to Tony, the group picture still clutched in her hand. "Tell me something. Anything. A story."

Tony's eyes flickered down at the photo before looking back up at hers. He placed both hands underneath his head, elbows out. "Well, Andrew has taken a specific liking to Abby and her lab."

"Oh really?" Andrew had arrived from Russia, 10 months old with a mop of curly black hair and beautiful blue eyes, 9 months before Ziva left.

Tony chuckled. "Yeah. When we visit Abby he'll sometimes be there too, dancing to her loud, insane music."

Ziva let out a hearty chuckle. Mostly at picturing the fair skinned baby dancing to Abby's loud and obtrusive music. "He is two now, yes?"

Tony nodded and "hummed" in response. It made her sad that she had missed this milestone for her friend's child. Nevertheless, she wanted to be filled in on the things she had missed. She didn't dare broach the other subject; something else she had missed that was far more devastating than missing Andrew's second birthday. Ziva pushed the thought away, unable to bare handling it at the moment. "Tell me about it?"

Tony glanced at her out of the corner of his eye before proceeding. "I am pretty sure they bought out all of the Finding Nemo stuff at Party City."

Ziva scrunched her nose. "Finding what?"

"Nemo. It's a movie about fish." Tony shrugged his shoulders vaguely as if to say 'kids, I don't know.'

"Oh." Ziva processed this. "What did we get him?"

Tony smiled, the use of the royal 'we' not going unnoticed by either of them. "A drum set."

Ziva burst out in a fit of laughter. "Oh no, Tony, you did not!"

From Tony's laughter she could tell that he, in fact, did. "Yeah, well..."

Ziva's laughter paused and she turned toward Tony. "I am sure they hate us now."

It was more of a statement than a question but Tony felt the need to answer anyway. He turned his head toward her. "Autopsy Gremlin loved it, you know what a big kid that one is. The glare came from Breena."

Ziva chuckled again before nodding and turning back onto her back, pulling the picture up closer to her face. The mood became serious again. "How is...everyone else?"

Tony turned, placing his hand on her stomach where her shirt had ridden up. He rubbed small circles with his thumb before answering. "They are fine. Good. They miss you, of course."

Ziva nodded and blew out a short burst of air. She didn't avert her eyes from the photo but placed her free hand on top of Tony's. "Yes, I miss them, also."

* * *

_November 18, 2013._

_Tony smiled as he watched Ziva pull the lasagna out of the oven and replace it with the garlic bread. They were having everyone over for dinner at Tony's to surprise them with their engagement and Ziva had insisted that she do the cooking. Tony let her as long as he had gotten to pick the meal. Naturally, she had rolled her eyes when he suggested lasagna. But he was Italian, who could blame him?_

"_Ten minutes, Tony." Ziva's voice floated through his apartment and Tony stopped himself when his first thought was that he could get used to it._

"_Already ready." Tony made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge._

_Ziva appraised his choice of outfit. Slacks and a button up with a tie. The doorbell rang and her eyes went wide. She fiddled with the ring on her finger until it was upside down, the diamonds pressing into her palm. She smoothed the front of her skirt down with her damp palms._

_Tony noticed her trepidation. "Relax, you look beautiful."_

_Ziva shrugged, brushing imaginary lint off of her silk top._

_Tony caught this and kissed her cheek before flashing her a suggestive smile. "Astonishing." _

_Ziva gave him an exasperated look and watched as he walked away toward the door to let their guests in. A few moments later she could hear Ducky's Scottish accent and she smiled, nerves fluttering away. _

"_We brought dessert!" Breena's voice floated into the kitchen. They must have driven over together. A flash of blonde hair caught Ziva's eye as she turned back toward the entrance to the kitchen. Breena fully appeared, carrying a baker's box._

"_Thank you." Ziva smiled. "The fridge is there if it is something that needs to be chilled."_

"_Oh no, it's fine on a counter." Breena flashed her a large smile before putting it down. "So..." The blonde moved in closer. "You and Tony?"_

_Ziva blushed. She had hoped no one would ask any questions before her and Tony had a chance to tell everyone about their engagement because anything short of "we are engaged" would be a lie. But she also realized how it looked with her in Tony's kitchen, cooking. Ziva opted for confusion. "Yes?"_

_Jimmy took that moment to enter the kitchen and Ziva sighed in relief. "There you are!" He moved over to Breena, placing an arm around her before acknowledging Ziva. "Ziva!" _

_Jimmy let go of Breena to hug the brunette. "I have missed you so much!" _

_Ziva managed a grin for Breena's sake. Jimmy was always very over the top with his feelings but she suspected that the blonde loved that about him. "Yes, I have missed you too."_

"_I guess the party is in here?" Tony came into the kitchen as well, placing his beer bottle on the counter._

"_Just saying hello to Ziva." Ziva watched as Breena winked at her before taking Jimmy's hand and leading him back out into the dining room area. _

_Tony gave her a look and she shrugged. "I do not know." She walked toward him, placing a hand on his chest nearest his tie. "Will you watch the garlic bread? I want to say hello to Ducky."_

_Ziva waited for Tony to nod before walking out of the kitchen and going to find the medical examiner. Five minutes later the doorbell rang again and she answered it to find McGee and an over-excited Abby who stood in the doorway so long telling Ziva how excited she was to be at Tony's apartment that Vance had shown up in the meantime, clearing his throat. Everyone had already been seated, enjoying the wine that both Vance and Ducky had brought, when the doorbell sounded again. Tony had risen from his seat and opened the door to find an unamused Gibbs and a clearly annoyed Fornell, the latter carrying a bag of something that he roughly handed to Tony as they crossed over the threshold. Tony smiled and motioned for them to join everyone._

_Once everyone had dug into the lasagna and had erroneously congratulated Tony on his delicious masterpiece, Tony had taken that moment to stand up, clearing his throat. Ziva gave him a confused look at his timing._

"_That's actually what I...we...wanted to talk to you all about." The table got quiet and everyone, aside from Gibbs, had given him a confused look. "No, I mean...not the lasagna...but..." Tony looked down to Ziva, seated to his left, for help._

_Ziva stood, her hands beginning to shake. She clasped them together. "I think what Tony is trying to say, despite his horrible timing, is that __**we **__asked you all over for dinner for a reason."_

"_And it's not to eat dinner?" Fornell asked, obviously confused about the whole thing and becoming more annoyed by the minute. He really shouldn't have been here in the first place with the investigation but Gibbs had asked as a favor and he owed him._

_Ziva shook her head and looked over at Tony whose expression was of someone about to throw up their dinner._

"_DiNozzo...David..." The Director started, joining Fornell in his annoyance._

"_We...uh..." Tony reached his left hand out, grasping Ziva's right. "we're getting married."_

_Ziva lifted her left hand up, the diamonds now on the outside, reflecting off the light from the chandelier. Simultaneously, 7 forks clattered loudly onto china as 7 mouths gaped open at them. As the silence hung in the air, Ziva gripped Tony's hand tighter as Tony shrugged his shoulders, grinning awkwardly at his co-workers._

* * *

_**PSA**__: So, I should seriously be preparing for the case I have tomorrow morning but I felt like I HAD to update today since everyone (and I'm not sure how many of us are actually even reading fanfiction right now) is upset over Cote's last day (which I definitely am as well!). I've seen a lot of comments on tumblr and twitter and I feel like this needs to be said: We all love Ziva and we all love Cote and for so, so many of us both of them have helped us through very rough times in our lives. I have seen a lot of "what am I going to do now" and "I can't handle [this] without Cote/Ziva." And I just want there to be at least ONE person saying "YES YOU CAN!" When you think you can't, just remember what Ziva has given all of us: strength, perseverance, courage in the face of adversity. She taught us those things over the course of 8 seasons. These are not things we are "losing" now that her character will not be a regular. We have all GAINED these things. We are all now stronger, more courageous, able to face anything. For the times when we slip, falter, and lose our way, just remember that you can always pop in a season or two (or eight) and we __always__ have each other. Please don't despair._


	6. Six

**Author's Note:** Wow! I am humbled by your wonderful, sweet reviews! My readers are the very best, that is for sure! And for that, this Chapter includes Tony's POV and also copious amounts of fluff. Um, also...marriage!

**Disclaimer:** I own a house and dogs and clothes and a plethora of nail polish but I, sadly, do not own NCIS. I would be happy to trade everything but the dogs for it though, okay?

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 25, 2015.

When Tony woke around 4 a.m. the next morning it was because his back was hurting and not, surprisingly, because the woman lying next to him was snoring loudly. He groaned and untangled himself from the brunette before sitting up to stretch. His back cracked in three places before he acknowledged the chill that had come over the cabin. Tony turned his neck, glancing at the fireplace. The fire had obviously gone out some time in the night since Tony hadn't tended to it and he would have to go get more tinder and wood from outside before it became too cold in the cabin. He glanced down at Ziva, who was sprawled out on her back, head propped up by one of the throw pillows from the couch, and mouth wide open, hair in disarray. He chuckled to himself before pushing off the floor and standing. His back cracked some more as he stood to his full length and Tony groaned at the sensation. He took one more look at Ziva before deciding his course of action. He didn't want to wake her but also he may physically pay later for what he was thinking about doing. Tony shrugged then crouched down, gathering Ziva's form in his arms before taking a deep breath and standing.

The movement jostled Ziva from sleep and her eyes flew open, landing on Tony's face in horror.

"Hey, shh. Just taking you to bed." Tony looked down at her, now nestled in his arms in a bridal carry.

Ziva's eyes flickered in familiarity before closing, heart beginning to beat again at a normal pace. A suggestive grin formed on her face. "Mmmm, yeah?"

Tony chuckled at her sleepy suggestion. "No." He shook his head in mock disbelief even if she couldn't see him. That was usually his line. "Go back to sleep."

Ziva nodded against his chest, her eyes still firmly closed. Her left hand came up to grasp the front of his t-shirt. Tony held her tightly as he made his way toward the bedroom that they hadn't actually slept in yet. Using his foot he pushed the door open and sighed in relief when he saw that the bed was already made and turned down. Tony placed her on the mattress before pulling the comforter up over her. Ziva's lashes fluttered and she muttered something in her sleep that Tony wasn't able to decipher so he leaned down and placed a kiss to her temple.

He loved her. He knew he loved her. _Everyone_ knew he loved her. But he couldn't tell her. He knew why but even that reason was becoming less of a reason and more of a cop-out. A crutch that he clung to when it all became too real. His emotions were sometimes too much for him. He thought back to earlier that day when she questioned whether he had found someone else. The thought alone had ripped at his insides and instead of telling her that he loved her, not anyone else, and that because he loved her there could never be anyone else regardless of their relationship status, he had done the only thing he could think of. He had slept with her. Because that's what he had known how to do when it all became too real and it didn't seem to matter what they had been through together, he could never before find the courage to tell her. But being away from her for the last 10 months had given him something to think about, a new perspective, and this time he wasn't going to be afraid. No, this time he was manning up and telling her. He just had to think of the perfect way, one she deserved. Tony tucked her in and kissed her again - he could never resist - before trudging out into the cold winter air.

* * *

_December 3, 2013_

"_Are you sure, Tony?" Ziva whispered as she fiddled with the gold diamond ring on her left ring finger. _

_They were at the courthouse, marriage license in hand, waiting in chairs with 20 other people doing the same thing. Well, Tony was in a chair, Ziva was standing and had begun pacing 10 minutes prior and hadn't stopped._

"_Ziva." Tony hissed, getting her attention. "You have got to sit down. You're making me nervous. They'll be here any minute."_

_It wasn't that she was nervous that her co-workers hadn't shown up yet to witness their impending nuptials. It was the nuptials in question that made her nervous. This sham wedding to someone she was increasingly confident that she wanted to marry for real was the true problem. _

"_Hey." Tony reached out and grabbed her hand, effectively stopping the pacing for the time being. "Look at me."_

_Ziva spun around as Tony stood, bringing himself eye-level to her. "At lo levad, Sweetcheeks." He kissed her forehead when she offered him a smile. "And hey, if this doesn't work out, we'll just go on the lam together." _

_Ziva crunched up her face. "You own a lamb?"_

_Tony was saved an explanation by a loud screech coming from his left. He turned just in time to see Abby barreling toward them. "OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS!"_

"_Oh god." Was the only thing Tony managed to say before Abby flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in near suffocation. Ziva chuckled but quickly realized she was next and braced herself for the onslaught._

_Once Abby had detached herself from Ziva the rest of the team had made it over to them. McGee rolled his eyes as if in mock apology for Abby's behavior. Ziva grinned at him before offering him a hug. "Thank you for coming, Tim."_

_McGee shrugged, embarrassed by the affection. "Thanks for inviting me." _

_Ziva moved to hug Jimmy then Ducky and thank them as well while Tony occupied himself with calming Abby down so as not to disturb the others waiting in the hallway. When Ziva reached Gibbs he pulled her in, kissing her temple before whispering in her ear. "I'm sorry that this was the only way." _

_Ziva's eyes welled up and she pursed her lips to will them away. "Do not be sorry."_

_She felt him nod against her before he pulled back. "You look beautiful, Ziver." _

_This time she did not care if anyone saw the tears that welled up, threatening to spill. Her voice was nothing but a whisper when she finally answered. "Thank you."_

_While this hadn't been her ideal wedding, Ziva had taken a while to find the perfect dress. It was cream and lace and open mostly in the back and stopped just shy of her knees. She had reasoned with herself that even though the wedding was a sham, the only people who knew that were the two participating, Gibbs, and the lawyer who came up with the idea. For everyone else, it was as real as them not working at NCIS anymore. Ziva looked around at her makeshift family and smiled. At least these were the people whom she would want at her real wedding, her only true family. _

"_So, why the rush?" McGee had come to stand next to Abby who was at Tony's left._

"_What do you mean?" Ziva, confused, asked, looking from Tim to Tony._

"_You know like...are you pregnant?" Abby filled in, whispering and scrunching her nose a little._

"_What? Do I look _pregnant_?" Ziva had a horrified look on her face as she looked down at her stomach._

"_No, I just meant, you know...with all of the time you guys spent locked in the men's room together..." McGee trailed off, looking sheepish that he had even brought it up. _

"_We were simply talking." Ziva corrected and McGee rolled his eyes, clearly not buying that line anymore now that they were getting married._

"_And in the elevator!" Palmer chimed in as he and Breena came closer to join the small group. Gibbs glared, which caused both Tony and Ziva to shake their heads in denial._

"_And behind the stairs..." Abby mumbled. Ziva shot her a confused look, trying to remember when they had even been alone behind the stairs together._

"_Don't forget the break room." McGee interjected again. Tony shook his head and glared at McGee._

"_Oh! What about autopsy?" Palmer giggled and everyone turned to look at him, confused. He quickly let his large smile drop and looked down at the floor, shrugging. _

"_No, we did not...we were never alone in autopsy!" Tony looked at Ziva who looked back at him with raised eyebrows. His memory filling in for him the time they were, in fact, alone in autopsy after Jenny had died. "Okay, nevermind. But no, we just..."_

"_They are in love, my dear friends." Ducky offered an explanation for him, excited for the pending nuptials. Tony blushed and Ziva nodded quietly before they both snuck a glance at Gibbs who was glaring at them so hard they could both feel the head slap he was mentally subjecting them to._

"_DiNozzo and David?" The voice was loud, piercing through the other conversations in the hall. Ziva's head snapped toward the voice before finding Tony's eyes with her own. __He held her gaze as he moved toward her, taking her hand, which Ziva refused to let go of until they were climbing into his Mustang on the way to their fake honeymoon._


	7. Seven

**Author's Note:** Wow. I am humbled and grateful. You are all so magnificent and I am running out of adjectives to describe how much your reviews mean to me! Keep them coming, please! I am so sorry it has been a little while since my last update. Real life has been so busy I can hardly keep up with myself! To answer some of your questions: sorry, but you will not find out why Ziva is running until around Chapter 16, but I will answer some of your other questions (i.e. who is "her/she") much sooner than that (within the next two chapters, I promise!).

***Spoiler alert*** I am actively working to finish this story before September because with all of the spoilers I've tried to keep myself out of lately, it seems as though my story may be closer to canon than I had even intended! At least parts of it. So I would like to have this done before I become disillusioned by the new season.

**Disclaimer:** I still, as of right now, own this story premise. But that's about it. And Lewis Carroll owns _Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There_.

**Warning:** The flashback in this Chapter is rated M for smut. If you are under 18 or do not like to read that, then I suggest you stop at the present time.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 27, 2015

The next few days had passed without incident and Tony and Ziva had settled into a new domesticity much like their previous one before Ziva was in hiding. At the moment, Ziva was in the process of washing their clothes in the large kitchen sink with dish soap and hanging them on the rod in the bathtub. Tony had spent all morning pouring over numerous maps, making marks in red, as he absentmindedly watched a football game on the television. The day before they had celebrated Thanksgiving by watching the Ravens win and making love on the floor in front of the fire place as post-game celebrations crackled from the t.v.

Once Ziva had finished with the clothes she walked over to sit next to Tony at the table who was in the process of closing the maps and storing them in the rucksack.

"So I was thinking..." Tony started, turning toward her after zipping the sack up.

"Oh, you were?" Ziva grinned as Tony playfully glared at her implication.

"Yes. And since today is Black Friday, I thought that we could go down to the store and stock up on food. It'll probably be easy to blend in with the hundreds of other people out there." He paused a moment and Ziva watched as he looked out of the bay window, a sudden worried expression on his face. "Hopefully there _are _hundreds of other people out there."

Ziva tilted her head at him, eyebrows knitting together, and completely ignored his suggestion. "Why is this day a color? Why not Blue Friday or Purple Friday?"

Tony turned back toward her with a look that Ziva was clearly able to distinguish as disbelief. "You have lived in the States for 10 years now and you still don't understand the concept of Black Friday? I'm not telling you. And also, Miss David, in Maryland during football season, every Friday is Purple Friday."

Ziva glared at him as he stood from the table, leaving her sitting there. "It is Mrs. DiNozzo, thank you."

Tony winked as he walked into the bathroom. "Bundle up! It's cold outside." He offered before closing the bathroom door, not missing her muttering 'asshole' under her breath at him.

Forty-five minutes later they were both bundled up, somewhat due to the weather but mostly in an attempt to hide their identities, as they walked up to the front of the grocery store. Ziva's backpack had been emptied and she carried it on her back as they walked into the store. Tony immediately grabbed a cart and pulled out their list while Ziva headed toward the produce section.

"Hey," Tony said to Ziva who was in the middle of picking some fresh tomatoes for the pasta salad she was making for dinner. Ziva lifted her eyes before glaring hard. Tony was holding two melons up to his chest wearing a wide smile.

"Tony!" Ziva hissed and motioned for him to put the melon's down while glancing around to make sure no one was watching him. "You are worse than a small child."

Tony stuck out his lip in a mock pout before squeezing the melons once more and then dropping them back onto the produce shelf. Ziva rolled her eyes and let her head drop before she allowed herself to chuckle. For all of his immature antics, Ziva could not help herself from missing him, even when he acted like a child in the grocery store. Though she was reminded why she had stopped letting him grocery shop with her almost two years ago. In fact, it had been their first Thanksgiving together that she had forbid him from grocery shopping with her ever again. She felt Tony move beside of her and she put the bag of tomatoes into the cart before kissing his cheek. Ziva was suddenly glad that some things-some people-never changed.

They meandered through the store for the next two hours, leisurely grabbing groceries and enjoying being somewhere that wasn't the small cabin. Tony had behaved himself to a small extent after the melon fiasco, though more-so after Ziva had threatened to obliterate and then throw away the box of condoms when they returned to the cabin. After a while, they paid in the cash Tony had brought with him and left the store. Then they stood outside putting as much as they could in fit into Ziva's backpack.

"Here." Tony held out his hand, asking for the backpack that Ziva was now zipping closed.

"No Tony, I can carry it." She shook her head at him, lifting the pack in her hands.

"Please?" Tony's green eyes were pleading and they looked too much like another set of green eyes she could never say no to. Ziva bit her lip, not really wanting to give in but realizing an argument with him right now would be futile.

"Fine." Ziva handed over the backpack. "But I am carrying these."

She reached down and scooped up the two leftover bags consisting of bread and a mix of fruits and vegetables.

"Fine by me." Tony offered her a smile before sliding the backpack on his shoulders and beginning the journey across the parking lot toward the woods. Ziva followed him and thirty minutes later they were walking back up onto the porch of the cabin. They made quick work of putting everything away and then finally drifted over to the couch.

"I feel like all we do is sit on this couch." Tony groaned as he laid his head down on the throw pillow.

"We do." Ziva went to sit on the other end of the couch near his feet. "Move your feet."

She didn't wait for a response before she picked both of them up and sat, letting his feet fall onto her lap.

"No." Tony opened one eye to look at her and then sat up, pulling his feet in. He grasped her around the waist before lying back down, pulling her with him.

Ziva struggled for a moment before giving up and moving to find a comfortable position on top of him. Tony wound the ends of her hair between his fingers as he shut his eyes again. Five minutes of her listening to his heart beat passed before Tony spoke again. "You wanna read me a story?"

Ziva's eyes flickered up toward him, her head tilting slightly. They did that often in their life before Ziva left and she hadn't realized he had missed it as much as she did herself. She nodded before moving to slide her hand underneath the couch, removing the book she had placed there the day before. Tony grinned, she always hid books beneath the couch. When he was at home cleaning after she left he had found 15 of them hidden there. He couldn't bear putting them back on the shelves so they would still be there when she finally came home.

Ziva grinned sheepishly before settling back down, cracking the book open to begin where she had left off. "'It's very good jam,' said the Queen. 'Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate.' 'You couldn't have it if you _did_ want it,' the Queen said. 'The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam-yesterday – but never jam to-day.' 'It _must _come sometimes to jam to-day,' Alice objected. 'No, it can't,' said the Queen. 'It's jam every _other_ day: today isn't any _other_ day, you know.' 'I don't understand you,' said Alice. 'It's dreadfully confusing!'"

"I'm with Alice there. What's that even supposed to mean?" Tony interrupted.

Ziva rolled her eyes. He never simply listened to the story. "It's a play on the Latin word _iam_, Tony."

"So you understand obscure literally references but you can't seem to figure out common American idioms?" Tony looked at her incredulously.

"Shut up, Tony." Ziva warned in a sing-song tone. The truth was, she really did understand most American idioms now, she just enjoyed it when Tony became exasperated and corrected her. If he was allowed to be childish at her expense, she was allowed to annoy him at his.

"This is why I prefer movies. Easier to understand. Much more entertaining to quote." Ziva glared at him and he winked, urging her to continue on with the story.

Before long Ziva's voice had trailed off and the book forgotten, both having fallen asleep. A soft snow began to come down and when they awoke three hours later, the ground was covered in a light dusting; the first snow of the season.

* * *

_December 4, 2013._

_The plane had taken them 2 hours from BWI to Orlando, which had not been enough time for Tony to drive Ziva completely crazy but had been just the right amount of time for him to annoy the hell out of her. He had insisted on talking the entire flight, to everyone, and she had wanted to kick him numerous times for that. It wasn't that he was simply making conversation with their fellow travelers, it was that he had come up with this elaborate story for the two of them, telling anyone who would listen how they had fallen in love and the details of his proposal before launching into a monologue about the extravagant wedding they had just come from. In all honesty, it mostly annoyed her because the people whom he had fashioned them to be were ridiculously in love and over the moon happy about their nuptials. Not the people who were currently on their way to a sham honeymoon after their sham courthouse wedding so they would not end up in federal prison. On the other hand, it had given Tony the opportunity to touch Ziva inappropriately without the fear of death by paperclip or credit card. Ziva knew he was milking this for all it was worth when he looked over to her and winked. _

"_You are going to die a slow, painful death, Tony." She gritted out in his ear at one point when he had shoved his hand between her crossed legs, not nearly high enough to be offensive but just far enough to be rude._

"_Oh, it'll be worth it." He had responded under the guise of kissing her cheek._

_On her end, Ziva hadn't removed his hand the way she would have 8 years ago. Instead, she left it there even when he used his thumb to draw suggestive circles on the top of her thigh. Ziva was a mix of happy and disappointed when the plane finally landed and they were free to leave. At baggage claim she had fielded various "Congratulations" with a simple "Thank you" while Tony grabbed their luggage. By the time they had checked into their hotel Ziva was exhausted and flung herself onto the bed, not noticing for a moment that it was the only one. She didn't open her eyes again until she felt the bed dip and Tony on top of her. _

"_Tony." She warned but kept her eyes closed._

"_What, Sweetcheeks? Do you not understand what a honeymoon is?" She could tell he wore a smart-ass grin on his face without even looking at him. He began kissing her neck and she simultaneously fought the urge to throw him off of her and moan, opting to do nothing but continue to lay there as he continued._

"_You are very hilarious." Her eyes rolled despite being closed and she bit her lip as his hand snaked underneath the lace dress she hadn't yet taken off. _

"_We both know that if this were your real honeymoon you would be parading around in your birthday suit by now." Tony whispered in her ear before biting down on her earlobe._

_Ziva frowned and opened her eyes, despite the rush of pleasure shooting through her body at his actions. "Why would I be in a birthday suit on my honeymoon?" _

_She could hear Tony chuckle near her ear. "You, my dear, are one hell of a catch."_

_Ziva wasn't sure if he was being serious or making fun of her so she opted to say nothing and instead reached down to fumble with the belt to his dress pants. She would have to play along now since it was clear he wasn't going to stop and it would not be very appropriate for her to deny her husband on their honeymoon. Her breath hitched as he used both hands to pull her dress up and over her head in one swift motion. Her skin flushed at the realization that she now lay in front of him in only her panties, which really was only a scrap of fabric covering the front of her._

"_Tony…" He stopped his trail of open mouth kisses down the front of her body to stare up at her. _

"_Do you trust me?" He whispered against her skin, causing goosebumps to appear across her torso._

_Ziva nodded before watching him continue his travels downward. He held her gaze as he used the tips of his fingers to remove her panties, not once looking down, although she could tell he really wanted to. She felt all of a sudden grateful mixed with a startling need to make this real. She opted for kissing him fully on the mouth once he traveled back up her body. She felt him snake a hand behind her back before pulling her flush against him and moving them underneath the covers. _

"_I don't want anyone else that may be watching to see you…if I don't even get to." She knew he hadn't meant it the way it had sounded and she smiled at his thoughtfulness._

"_You can look." His eyebrows rose prompting her to continue. "I mean, of course…if you do not want to…"_

_She did not have to finish as she watched him lean back a moment before taking her in. Ziva blushed as his eyes traveled from her own down her chest to her stomach and finally resting on the triangle between her thighs._

"_Jesus Zi." His swearing made her blush an even deeper red._

"_Tony?" He averted his eyes back up to hers. "Can you…" She trailed off but placed her hands on his pants for emphasis. He grinned at her before making short work of his dress pants, leaving his boxers on and attempting to adjust himself quickly under her watchful gaze. She helped him remove his tie and began unbuttoning his dress shirt before she looked at him again. Tony was looking at her so thoughtfully that she stopped unbuttoning and reached up, pulling his head down to hers, kissing him so passionately that her head swam making her lucky she was already lying down. When he broke the kiss she quickly undid the remaining three buttons and pushed his shirt down his shoulders. He leaned back, pulling the shirt off and throwing it to the side before taking her right knee and bending it. _

_Ziva grabbed his biceps as he put her leg over his shoulder and kissed her calf. Her other leg fell to the side, aiding in the new position. He leaned down and kissed her lips briefly before pulling back and looking into her eyes. "You ready?"_

_She nodded as he moved forward, pretending to enter her. For a while they timed their moans by playing off the other, completely in sync. It wasn't until sometime later when Tony thrust just an inch too far, causing the tip of him to hit her in just the right spot. Ziva's eyes flew open at the sensation and she bit back a moan. Tony paused, a look of horror marring his features. He bent down to her ear. _

"_I am so sorry Zi. I didn't mean…" Tony frantically apologized._

_Ziva grabbed the back of his neck. "Just…do not stop."_

_His features turned to confusion before she kissed him fully on the mouth and raised her hips up to once again meet him. Tony groaned at the contact before pulling back and thrusting again. A few more times and it was too much. "Ziva, I can't…"_

"_Tony….please?" Ziva was begging and she wasn't even entirely sure what for._

"_What do you want?" He had stopped his thrusting again and held himself above her using his arms._

"_I want you." The confused look on his face propelled her into action and she reached down, pulling his boxers down just far enough to free him. His eyes widened again._

"_Are you sure?" Tony searched her eyes for anything that wasn't complete consent._

_Ziva thrust her hips upward again, giving him his answer. Tony quickly kicked his boxers off underneath the covers. He reached his hand down, slowly guiding himself into her, moaning at the wet heat. Ziva snapped her hips as he entered her, taking him in fully without warning._

"_Fuck, Zi, you are so tight." Tony murmured against her cheek. _

_Ziva groaned at his choice of words before bringing him down for a kiss. "I need…more."_

_She wasn't even entirely sure what that meant at this point as she was so far gone, chasing her looming orgasm. He let her leg fall from his shoulder and she took that as her cue to flip them over. She sat up, causing him to move deeper inside of her and she couldn't stop his name from escaping her lips._

"_Fuck, I'm gunna…like this, it's too much…I need you to…" Tony wasn't able to form a complete thought long enough to vocalize it. He wanted to wait for her but he wasn't sure how realistic that would be at this point unless she was teetering on the edge as well. He had waited 8 years for this._

_Ziva grasped for his hands on her hips, lacing their fingers on one hand. He moved his other to her center, flicking his thumb where he knew she needed it. Ziva let out a cry, grinding down on him. It wasn't too long before she was gripping him like a vice and screaming his name so loud that he was sure the entire floor could hear her. It was too much for him and he came hard inside of her, clamping his eyes closed and groaning out an expletive. _

_An hour later they lay still entwined and Tony reached out, grabbing Ziva's hand and lacing their fingers together again before kissing her forehead and drifting off to sleep._

* * *

**A/N #2**: Okay, so I promise this is going somewhere and that this chapter was important to the story as a whole, even if it doesn't seem like it! Review, please?


	8. Eight

**Author's Note:** Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your wonderful, insightful, reviews! They rock my world :) I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's pretty much pure fluff! Also, I promise, I read every one of your reviews and do actually take what you say into consideration (*ahem* part of this chapter that wasn't there before a review 'asking' for it)!

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned these characters because the people who do are really doing a bang-up job of it.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

November 29, 2015.

The sun was trickling through the shades in the bedroom as Ziva stared at Tony's sleeping face, attempting to memorize every line and feature in case this whole plan went south and all she had was a memory of the last two years with him as her husband. Husband. Ziva fought back the lump that formed in her throat. This man, once her partner, was now her husband. And they were so very not undercover. Ziva reached her hand out, tentatively touching his fingers before lacing hers with them. He stirred and moved closer but did not wake. She loved the feeling of his hand in hers. She fell in love with him when he had reached for her hand as he and Tim were dragging her out of Saleem's hideout in Somalia. She was exhausted and defeated and everything ached so much but his hand in hers made her feel safe and comforted and fearless. When they were in Berlin and he took her hand she had found herself lost in his eyes, drunk on the feeling. That was the first time she realized how much power this one man had over her entire life. That she would forget entirely about her revenge mission and fall into a trance just by the way his hand held hers and the love she felt radiating from his emerald eyes. Ziva loved this man – her partner, her husband – but realized that not everything was always black and white. That there were shades of grey in the world and that maybe their relationship, and sometimes lack of one, was one of those things. A tear made it's way down her cheek and she hastily used the pillow beneath her head to wipe it away, unwilling to let go of his hand at the moment. She wanted bliss for a little while longer.

Tony stirred at her movement. "Zi?"

"I am here." She whispered back, waiting for him to open his eyes.

When he did he smiled lazily. "Were you watching me sleep?"

Ziva pursed her lips, a blush rising to her cheeks. "Possibly."

Tony lifted their entwined hands and kissed her knuckles. "What would you like to do today, Sweetcheeks?"

He gave her an out and Ziva was grateful. "Hmm. What are the options? Read a book, lay on the couch, or watch the t.v. There are so many options."

Tony chuckled at her sarcasm. "Well, I think that maybe we could venture out, do a little hiking."

Ziva's eyebrows rose. "Hiking?"

The bed moved beneath them as Tony shrugged and rolled onto his back. "We'd still be in the woods so why not? Plus, you're going to get fat just sitting around here."

Ziva watched him smirk and she batted at his chest with her free hand, eyes bugging out in disbelief. "Me! You are the one who...who gorges himself on those pie pastry...things... you just _had_ to buy at the grocery store!"

Tony's eyes crinkled in laughter and he squeezed her hand before he let go to climb out of the bed. "Let's go, get up Sweetcheeks, can't have any wife of mine getting fat now. I have a reputation to protect."

Ziva kicked out her leg – which he effectively dodged – as he ran past her on the way to the bathroom. She jumped out of bed to run after him as he cleared the doorway. "I will kill you in your sleep, Anthony DiNozzo."

An hour later, once they had made up in the shower after their fake fight, they were trekking through the woods behind the cabin, fingers laced together again. They hiked that way until the wooded area became too steep and they needed both hands to grab onto barren trees to steady themselves. The ground was littered with wet fallen leaves and a smattering of snow that was slowly melting. Ziva breathed in deep, allowing her lungs to fill with the scent of air unique to Autumn. They had agreed to continue onward, North, until they reached Pennsylvania and then turn around and head back. It wouldn't be that far according to Tony's maps and they had desperately needed the exercise after the last week of doing virtually nothing at all. After some amount of time that seemed like many hours to Ziva they had reached a sign indicating that they were now at the Mason-Dixon line.

Ziva stared at the brown and yellow sign, stopping. "Is this it? Are we there?"

Tony turned to her and grinned. "Yep!"

He was too excited even for Tony and she eyed him skeptically. "Someone is in a very good mood."

That only made him grin wider and he motioned to her to come closer to him. She obliged with some hesitation. "Stand right here."

His eyes drifted to the sign and then he placed his hands on her arms, putting here when he seemed to want her. He took another glance at the sign before standing in front of her fully.

"What are you doing, Tony?" Ziva's eyebrows furrowed together as she watched him.

"This." Tony brought his hand up to the back of her head and pulled her in. It did not surprise her when his lips met hers and he kissed her hard. She snaked her arms around his waist and let him lead. When she could tell his damaged lungs were screaming for air she let him pull away.

"I am not complaining but what was that for?" Ziva's hands clutched his winter coat as she stared up into his eyes.

The grin was back. "I have always wanted to kiss you in two states at once."

Ziva rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face when he said "you" instead of "someone". "You watch entirely too many movies, Tony."

Tony shrugged. "Maybe, but you happen to love it."

"Maybe." Ziva murmured as he leaned back down to capture her lips again.

It was cold and wet and they were not in the best circumstances but Ziva felt the familiar pull in her heart. This is what she had always wanted. Something permanent. Them, together, figuring this out and enjoying the moments. Not that she would wholesale trade anything in their current lives, aside from their current predicament, for something normal like this with Tony. But Ziva couldn't help but think what it would have been like had they had the time to do all of these things they had missed the first time around. And even though this was hard and heartbreaking and exhausting, Ziva found that she would not trade anything for the feel of Tony's hands on her as his breath whisped across her face as he reclaimed her lips for his own while they were standing with one foot in Maryland and the other in Pennsylvania.

* * *

_December 14, 2013._

"_How bad could it really be?" Tony threw the rhetorical question out with a nonchalant air. _

_Ziva eyed him out of the corner of her eye, her arms folded across her chest as they waited for the elevator to take them up to the bull pen. "Really, Tony?"_

_Ziva watched Tony shrug in the stainless steel doors of the still closed elevator. She rolled her eyes at him. Tony put his hands in his pockets, something Ziva knew by now that he often did when he was nervous. "Tony..."_

_Even though she had been trying to get him to talk since they had found out their joint presence was requested by Director Vance three days after returning from their honeymoon, it was clear that Tony did not want to discuss it. The only thing he continued to say was that everything was going to be fine and that they just had to stick to the plan and it wouldn't be bad. The problem with that scenario was that Ziva did not think that it – nor the lie detection tests they were being ordered to submit to next week – was going to be fine and, plan or not, it wouldn't be good. She waited as he held the door open for her to enter the waiting elevator and step in himself before she hit the emergency stop._

_Blue light flooded, Tony sighed, and Ziva turned to him. "Tony. I know you do not wish to talk about this but...I do." She brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face. "I have to. I cannot just..." She gestured toward the closed doors in exasperation. "Go out there and pretend like I am fine. This is a very big deal. How are you okay?"_

_Tony ran a hand through his hair and then stepped in, pulling her closer. "Jesus Ziva I'm not okay. I'm terrified. But the thing is, is that if we don't do this, we go to prison, we lose our jobs, we lose our friends, we lose each other. And I can't..." Tony trailed off, making Ziva's heart plummet at the pause._

_He must have sensed some change in her demeanor because he continued in the next moment. "I can't lose you. I'm not ready to talk about what happened during our...honeymoon... especially not while we are standing in Gibbs' office at our former place of employment. But we have to do this for each other. You and me. That's all we have now, Zi."_

_Ziva could see in his eyes that he was every bit as terrified as she was but his words calmed her deep in her soul so she nodded and leaned forward and repeated his words. "You and me." _

_They stood there a moment before he kissed the top of her head and she pulled back, hitting the emergency button to start the elevator once again. Once they reached the top floor the elevator 'dinged' open and Abby's face was the first in their line of vision._

_The forensic specialist squealed. "Finally! I hope you weren't makin' babies in that elevator!" She grabbed onto Ziva first, crushing her. "Actually, no, I hope you were!" _

_Ziva rolled her eyes toward Tony as she patted Abby on the back. _

"_I would never!" Tony's sarcastic voice floated through the air._

"_Yes you would!" Abby admonished before letting go of Ziva and latching onto Tony. Ziva gulped in some much needed air before smiling at Tony as he made an 'I cannot breathe' face though she could tell he was holding Abby as tightly as she was hugging him. Ziva decided that she liked that best about him. How he could be joking outwardly but inside she knew he was the most caring, thoughtful, loving and..._

"_DiNozzo..." A loud booming voice floated through the bull pen causing both Tony and Ziva to turn. Then with a less conviction and more hesitation mixed with a hint of confusion, "and...DiNozzo... my office, now." _

_Abby pulled back slowly, clearly afraid of also being yelled at, and Tony looked back to Ziva. The former agents shared a glance before moving forward, making their way across the bull pen and up the stairs to the Director's office. They ignored the numerous stares they were receiving by their former co-workers as they hurried along and slipped into Director Vance's office after him. Once inside Vance motioned toward the table. "Sit down."_

_Tony pulled out Ziva's chair before making his way to the one next to her; both of their eyes stayed fixed on the table at which they were now sitting._

"_Does someone want to tell me what in the devil is going on here!?" A voice whose owner Tony and Ziva hadn't previously registered as 'in the building' echoed across the room. Their heads snapped to the corner. The short, balding agent was approaching them rapidly and Ziva fought the urge to stand to protect herself. Still she couldn't help that her mind wandered to the knife she had stashed at her thigh that security did not find on her._

"_Agent Fornell." Director Vance warned though it went unheeded._

"_So help me god if I find out that this whole marriage was a rouse to keep you both out of prison I will personally make sure that the only sunshine either of you see for the next 50 years is the 30 minutes of free time you get outside of your cells." Agent Fornell came to stand in front of them now, his hands on the table and face beet red. There had obviously been some sort of investigation regarding their nuptials going on while they were on their honeymoon in Florida. Ziva was sure she did not want to know what it had uncovered to make this generally soft-spoken man to react this way._

_Ziva's own hands began to sweat and she rubbed them on her pants. This man was very different from the mostly quiet man they had invited over to the dinner party when they announced their engagement. Ziva tried to summon all of her Mossad training, tried to remind herself that she had been tortured before and survived, and that her father had died in her presence not very long ago. She bowed her head to mask her emotions and control them before she blew this whole thing out of the water. Somehow, when it came to Tony, Ziva's training flew out the window; he was her only weakness. _

"_Do not speak to my wife that way." Ziva could see Tony rise in her peripheral vision so she closed her eyes, not wanting to witness what could potentially happen next._

"_DiNozzo." Vance's voice served as another warning and Ziva picked at her nails._

"_No." Tony's voice was rising and Ziva knew that it was likely that only she could tell he was terrified; everyone else likely thought he had lost his mind. "You can accuse us of whatever you want, charge us with whatever you want, make us jump through whatever hoops you want. Yell at __**me**__ if you feel like it. But you will not yell at her that way. I don't care if you're the goddamn President of the United States." _

_By the end Tony was yelling loudly enough that Director Vance had joined them at the table, ready to provide some kind of barrier between Tony and Agent Fornell if necessary. The balding Agent continued to glare as Tony reached for Ziva's arm, gently pulling her out of her seat. He took her hand in his and she could feel that his palm was just as sweaty as hers. "We are leaving. If you want to charge us with something, then charge us. I don't give a shit anymore."_

_Ziva's eyes wildly searched the room, her mouth open in shock. She could not believe Tony had the audacity. There wasn't much to think about however because he was pulling her toward the door and in the next moment they were walking quickly down the hall. He didn't stop moving until the elevator had arrived after he had punched the down button sixteen times in rapid succession. Once inside with the doors closed he let go of her hand._

"_Oh my god." Ziva watched as Tony ran his hands over his face and leaned back against the steel box. "They are going to kill me. I am a dead man. Shit."_

_The brunette felt a bubble of laughter rising up and could not catch it in time before it tumbled out of her still open mouth. Ziva smacked her hand to her mouth, covering it and swallowing the laughter. Tony's hands dropped from his face and he glared at her. "Are you laughing?"_

"_I am sorry, Tony!" She really was sorry but for some reason she could not stop the laughter that continued to echo in the small elevator. "I cannot help..."_

_Ziva was doubled over now. The nerves were bouncing around in her body at warp speed and her heart was still racing from Tony's outburst. She could feel his eyes on her for another couple of seconds before she heard his deep laughter echoing with hers. Once the elevator reached the ground floor they quickly exited, hurrying out of the building before laughter consumed them. They couldn't look at each other the entire ride home either without bursting into laughter all over again. Once they had reached Tony's apartment – which they had decided last week would be their new home until they found something bigger – the laughter had finally died down and they were able to walk up the stairs without more than a snicker amongst the two of them. _

_Later that night, after they had eaten and the dishes had been done and the credits to movie number three had begun, Tony pulled Ziva to his side of the couch by her sweatpants._

"_Tony?" Ziva eyed him warily. _

"_I want to talk." His voice was rushed but he was looking at the side of her face with an intensity she had never felt before._

_She turned her head and decided on pretending to be clueless as to what this could be about until she heard what he wanted to discuss. "Oh?" _

"_About the honeymoon." He started to bite his fingernails and Ziva reached out, pulling his hand down and into his lap. His nervous tick always had the effect of making her more nervous than she would otherwise be._

"_Okay." She didn't remove her hand even though she knew it was starting to sweat again. This wasn't a conversation she was entirely sure she wanted to have right now after everything going on at NCIS and the FBI's investigation._

"_I...wanted to say that...you're my best friend." He started and her head swam. Best friend was not what she was going for, even if she had herself classified their relationship that way a few times before. _

"_Okay." Ziva barely managed to get out, the butterflies in her stomach fluttering enough to make her nauseous. She wanted to pull her hand away, retreat, but she knew that he would press her about what was wrong until she finally admitted to being upset with him so she kept it there on top of his._

"_And I wanted that and I wanted you." He was hedging, she could tell._

"_But?" She was finishing for him because she was impatient and quickly wanted to know where this was going._

"_I don't know if there is a but, though I'm not sure that there isn't either. It's sort of like getting something you have wanted for a really long time and then not knowing what to do with it." His green eyes were piercing into hers now._

"_You certainly seemed as though you knew what to do." Ziva scrunched her nose, not entirely sure where he was going with this anymore and more than a little confused now._

"_Not that." Tony's expression turned amused before he continued on. "We did this all backwards which makes it confusing. But I like you. A lot. For as long as I can remember. And, I am sure, for as far as I can see." _

_Ziva smiled at him, her heart warming and tears threatened the back of her eyes. "I like you a lot, also." _

"_Good, then, I guess you'll just have to continue to be Mrs. Anthony DiNozzo, Jr." Tony smirked and lifted his eyebrows. Of course he had to jump right into joking as soon as there was an out waiting._

_Still, Ziva offered him a smirk of her own. She could compromise. "I suppose I will."_

_They stared at each other for another moment before Ziva leaned back against Tony and Tony flicked the buttons on the remote to find movie number four as neither of them were quite ready to go to bed yet. And not for the first time did Ziva let herself be comforted by Tony's strong hold on her hand and the beating of his heart against her back._

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**A/N #2:** Review, yes? I am SO excited for the next two chapters I can barely contain myself. I hope to have Nine up by Sunday! So keep the reviews coming and I promise abundant rewards! :)_  
_


	9. Nine

**Author's Note**: Wow! Thank you all for such an amazing response to the last chapter! I love you all so very much! Also, thank you for sticking with me (even though this is so painstakingly slow!) and reviewing and favoriting and following! I truly hope that this chapter is a little payoff for being so patient and wonderful. I have had this chapter written for a very long time and it's absolutely my favorite.

**Disclaimer**: See previous chapters. I do own the new character introduced though!

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 2, 2015.

Tony brushed his fingers along Ziva's ankle, feeling the raised marking. They had been sitting on the couch for the better part of three hours. Ziva was sprawled out, feet resting on Tony's legs as she read whatever book she had pulled out from underneath the couch, while Tony was watching whatever channel he was able to get. Mostly that consisted of old Christmas movies that flickered in and out. He lifted her foot, steeling a glance, before placing a kiss to the black, script tattoo on the inside of her right ankle. He had the same one on his shoulder. E.E. His heart swelled as he placed her foot back down and looked over. She was looking at him over the top of the book, eyebrow raised. He ran a hand up her leg to her thigh and smiled. She had been wearing his shirt, and only his shirt, all day. Ziva offered a return smile before raising the book and continuing to read.

A few minutes more of staring at The Grinch and he broke the silence. "What do you wanna do tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Ziva questioned, placing the book on her chest to give him her full attention. They hadn't really done much of anything the last week aside from a jigsaw puzzle they had found in the hallway closet and brief hiking in the woods behind them.

His grin grew wide, almost wolfish. This was too good. "Yeah, you know, December 3rd. It's a pretty big day in our house, Ziva." That wasn't true. It was a "big day" last year because it was supposed to be, for show. But Tony wanted to change that. Wanted to make it a big day because it meant something to them, not just because it was supposed to mean something to anyone who may be watching them.

Her eyes widened. She had forgotten. Since Tony had come she hadn't been tallying her days anymore. Without it, she truly didn't know what day it was without doing the math. "Oh! Yes, of course." She paused a moment to think. What could they even do out in the middle of nowhere while they were on the run?

Tony watched her think another moment before commenting. "Don't worry, I know what we can do."

"What?" She was curious now.

"It's a surprise." At Ziva's annoyed expression, Tony reached over and grabbed her book, lifting it up to cover her face. "Read your book."

Another moment passed before Ziva's feet were no longer in Tony's lap and the couch cushions moved slightly underneath him. Tony turned his head, watching as Ziva crawled on her knees toward him, a predatory look in her eyes. "Ziva..." It was a half-assed warning at best. He could never resist her, even if he thought she was going to plunge a knife into him while he slept.

Ziva smirked as she slowly climbed into his lap, straddling him. "Tony." She whispered against his lips before kissing him, letting her teeth pull at his bottom lip.

"What...are you doing?" Tony asked once his lip was returned. He obviously knew the answer to that.

"I was just thinking..." Ziva leaned in to bite at his earlobe. Ziva was a biter and he was definitely a fan of it.

"Oh really? Care to share?" He shivered as her tongue worked its magic. His hands ran up and down her bare legs.

"Almost two years ago," She nipped at the skin below his ear. "We made a baby."

Yes, and it changed their lives radically. Tony closed his eyes and leaned back, pulling her closer to him. Tony thought of his daughter. "The most beautiful baby in the world."

Tony loved his daughter more than anything except for Ziva. And he really hadn't come to that particular realization until it was too late. Now, he was forming plans to rectify it.

"So, we should practice." Ziva pulled his shirt up and over his head before continuing to kiss his neck.

"Practice?" Tony's confusion was masked by the arousal of her lips on his skin.

"For number two."

Two hours later they were curled up together in front of the fireplace, the soft orange glow bouncing off of their naked skin. Tony was using his left hand to massage Ziva's scalp while his right played with her fingers.

"You awake?" He whispered, her head had been lying on his chest for some time now and she hadn't spoken a word or moved.

"Mmhmm." Her verbal response was accompanied by a nod of her head.

"Do you wanna see those other pictures now?" Tony continued to whisper, unsure how well this new suggestion would be received.

Ziva was still for a moment before she sat up, dragging part of the throw with her to cover her naked body. "Yes." Her voice wavered but he could tell she had made up her mind.

Tony nodded before standing and walking over to the rucksack. He threw on the pair of previously discarded boxers before reaching into the bag and pulling out the packet of photos that had previously been left untouched. He padded back over, sitting down and pulling Ziva with the blanket into his lap. They carefully undid the packet and opened it together; Tony could feel her hands shaking.

The first thirty pictures were pictures that Ziva recognized since she had either taken them or was in them. Nevertheless, she spent countless minutes on each, using her fingertips to trace their baby's features, before moving on to the next photo. They sat this way for another hour, memorizing each photo. And Tony kissed her bare shoulder each time she gasped at something in the photo or sniffed in an effort to hold back the tears that were already spilling onto her cheeks and mingling with their hands. Once she had gone through each photo twice, Tony moved her from his lap.

He kissed her forehead as he stood. "I have a surprise for you."

"Do I get to know what it is this time?" She looked up at him, obviously having remembered their conversation from either.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. McGee showed me how to do this." At Ziva's raised eyebrow he amended his statement. "Okay, McGee did this for me but I supervised."

Tony went back over to the rucksack and returned with a disk in his hand. He made his way over to the t.v., putting the disk in and grabbing the remote. He sat back down, pulling Ziva back into his lap before pressing play. The screen lit up and tears welled anew in Ziva's eyes immediately. The recording progressed and she could see all of her friends-family-waving to the camera before it zoomed in on a toddling baby, mass of curly dark hair atop her head. From behind the camera Gibbs called her name and she turned toward him. Her green eyes lit up and she waved erratically. "Papa."

Tears streamed down Ziva's face, her heart aching so badly. Tony came into focus, lifting the baby up before setting her down into a highchair, pulling her pink shirt and tutu off in the process. Ziva watched as they sang Happy Birthday and when Tony helped her blow out her candle. And when she stuck her cherub face into the small cake, Ziva could no longer help herself. She moved from Tony's lap and crawled toward the t.v. On her knees, Ziva touched the screen and whispered. "Yom Huledet Sameach, neshomeleh."

And Tony's heart broke. It was in that moment that he vowed, no matter what, even if it were the last thing he did, he was going to kill every last one of them responsible for taking Ziva away from their daughter.

* * *

_December 29, 2013._

_Tony glanced at Ziva out of the corner of his eye and sighed. They had been house hunting all day long and she looked completely exhausted. Her normally tan features had paled and her eyes had begun to droop and it was only 4 p.m. _

"_Hey, Zi?" Tony turned to her while starting the car._

"_Mmm?" Her attention was focused on the real estate book she had in her lap that they had been using to find houses for sale all weekend. _

_They had spent the better part of the month, when they hadn't been on their honeymoon, being questioned over and over by the FBI, attending depositions with the Attorney General's office, and in meetings with their own attorneys. They had also somehow, surprisingly, both passed their lie detector tests, which calmed Agent Fornell down to a manageable level. The whole ordeal had been exhausting in it's own right and to add on the pressure of house-hunting was seeming to be too much for Ziva._

"_Zi." Tony didn't want her partial attention this time._

"_Yes Tony." He could tell her temper was starting to flare already and so he reached over the center console and touched her arm. At the gesture her head snapped up and she looked over to him, eyes ablaze. "What?"_

_Tony removed his hand and sighed. "I think maybe we should go back to the apartment and try again tomorrow." He hoped,with the mood she seemed to be in, that she would take this more as an offer and less as a demand, which is what he had intended it to be._

_Ziva snapped the book closed and leaned her head back against the headrest. "Fine. But take me to the store first. You know, the one with the drugs, yes?"_

_Tony was glad her eyes remained closed so she didn't see his massive eye roll. He had, for years, been trying to get her to remember that it was called a drug store, not a store with drugs, and that asking people for a store with drugs was not effective communication in any State aside from California and Colorado. Tony took a minute to buckle his seatbelt and pull out onto the street. "Drug store and yes, fine."_

_15 minutes later Tony was growing bored with waiting in the car for Ziva to return from inside of the store and was just about to turn the car off and find her when the passenger side door opened and she flopped down into the seat next to him._

"_Finally!" Tony lifted his head up and looked in her direction, noticing the bag she was clutching. "What'dja get?" _

_Ziva glared at him and yanked her arm away when he went to reach for the bag. She slammed the car door closed before throwing the bag on the floor out of his reach. "Just drive, Tony."_

_Tony glared back before putting the car in drive and maneuvering out of the parking lot, heading toward his apartment. Half-way there he chanced a glance at Ziva and his annoyance softened when he saw her with her head on the window, eyes closed, looking exhausted. He realized that her recent attitude with him was likely exhaustion or that time of the month again. However, 25 minutes later, when she called his name from the bathroom in a terrified voice, he found out that the latter couldn't have been farther from the truth._

"_Fuck... Ziva, fuck. What the..." He was pacing down the hallway, both hands pulling at his hair without a thought for premature baldness._

"_Fuck?" She finished for him. _

_His head snapped up at her sarcasm. "How are you just so...so...calm?" He wanted to know, he really did. This was not a situation for calm._

"_Calm?" Ziva's voice began to rise. "You are mad at me because I am not also pacing your hallway yelling foul language at the walls?"_

_Tony paused, his feet finally coming to a stop. He thought for a moment before replying. "Yes!"_

_Ziva balked. "Unbelievable." Her arms folded under her chest as she stared at him in disbelief._

"_Jesus Christ, Ziva." He motioned toward the offending object in her hand. "Jesus Christ!" _

"_I can assure you, Jesus Christ had no part in this." Ziva turned back into the bathroom._

_Tony followed, gesturing wildly now. "How did this... I mean, I thought...I assumed..." He couldn't even figure out how to finish a sentence and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest he could barely hear himself think._

_Ziva whirled back around and he could see the furry in her eyes. "So this is my fault?" _

"_That's not what I said, Ziva!" He grabbed her arms in his hands to ground himself. It always worked that way; he just needed to feel her. "I just...what happened?"_

_The furry fizzled from her features and she plopped down on the toilet seat lid behind her. "I do not know. I did not miss a pill, I checked."_

_Tony ran a hand down the front of his face, thinking. And then, after running the last three months through his head, he realized what must have happened. "You had that...strep throat over Thanksgiving, remember?"_

"_Yes?" Ziva was staring up at him with a confused look. "Tony, what does that have to do with our current...situation?"_

"_Shit, Zi." He bent down, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet. "Didn't they explain to you that some antibiotics lower birth control effectiveness and that you should use condoms while taking it?"_

_Confusion, realization, then anger flashed across her face in the span of 30 seconds. "Do you think that if they had, I would have been so... reckless?" _

"_No, Ziva, that's not..." Tony placed his hands on her legs, shaking his head. "That's not what I'm saying."_

"_Then what are you saying, Tony?" He could tell she was exasperated. _

_He thought for a moment. "I don't know. I really don't know." _

_He let himself sit back, crossing his legs to sit on the floor in front of her. After a moment Ziva slid down, climbing into his lap and curling her body into his sturdy frame. She let out a choked sob and he put his arms around her, rocking them back and forth to soothe her. "It's okay, Sweetcheeks. We'll figure this out. We'll figure something out together. You and me."_

_They sat that way on the floor for another hour, hands linked and fingers entwined, both trying to come to terms with the two pink lines that had smacked them in the face and what that meant for their new reality._

* * *

**A/N #2**: I really hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I do! Let me know? Thank you :)


	10. Ten

**Author's Note:** You all are absolutely fantastic. The best readers on here :) Thank you once again for your fantastic reviews! I am so happy you enjoyed the last chapter as much as I did! To answer some questions, it's still going to be some time before we find out why Ziva is running, but that's only because I have a lot of ground to cover in the flashbacks! This Chapter is also one of my favorites and I hope it gives you another dose of what you've been looking for all along! Also, keep in mind, I am not a medical doctor so I do not claim to have any in-depth medical knowledge of anything related to the body.

**Disclaimer:** I own E.E. and Dr. Mathews and no one else at this point. The song (Can't Help Falling In Love) is wonderful and I am not sure who it is originally by (read as: I am too exhausted to research that) but Elvis is who I had in mind.

* * *

_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 3, 2015.

Tony's hands kept their position over Ziva's eyes as he led her down the short hallway and into the living room to stop beside of the table that now sat in front of the fireplace. He looked down at the table he had set with the nicest plastic dishes he could find and three white emergency candles he stole from underneath the sink. Tony had bread in a basket and water in the fanciest red solo cups and salad he had dumped out of a bag and combined with the remainder of the tomatoes Ziva had chosen from the store. His heart thumped in his chest and he could only hope that while it wasn't the fanciest dinner she would ever have, that at least it would mean more than any dinner she had ever been to. He slowly pulled his hands back from her face and chanced a peek by turning his head. Ziva's eyes lit up and her hand went to her mouth.

"Oh Tony, it is lovely." She turned her head, beaming a smile in his direction.

Tony grinned and motioned for her to sit before pulling out her chair. "All for you, Sweetcheeks."

"Thank you. I am..." Ziva stumbled over her words. "Grateful."

He kissed the top of her head before moving to the stereo and turning it on then disappearing into the kitchen. He emerged a few minutes later carrying a plate of chicken and potatoes and carefully sat them onto the table, sitting down in the process.

"Your dinner, m'lady." He grinned widely at her and she laughed, curling a piece of fallen hair behind her ear.

They ate in near silence, save for Ziva's comments regarding how delicious Tony's cooking actually was and how he would have to do so more often. The soft music floated through the room and finally Tony put his fork down and reached across the table, curling his fingers around Ziva's. She put her cup down and smiled at him.

"Happy Anniversary, Tony." She squeezed the tips of his fingers with hers.

"Happy Anniversary, Zi." Tony stood, lifting her hand and motioning her to join him. "Dance with me?"

He recognized the first few chords of the next song immediately. When she nodded, he gathered her in his arms tightly.

_Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you._

"Zi?" Tony mumbled against her hair as they continued to dance slowly.

"Hmm?" Ziva's eyes were closed as her head curled underneath Tony's chin, her cheek resting on his chest.

_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you._

He cleared his throat enough to entice her to lift her head to look at him. Their gentle swaying never wavered. "I just..."

This woman, this wonderful, loving, caring, understanding woman, was the mother of his child and he couldn't even get his act together enough to tell her that he loved her. Her gaze was one of sympathy. Telling him that she understood even if he couldn't tell her. No. He could and would do this.

_Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be._

"You are..." He paused to get his wording right. "The best person I know. An amazing mother. And an amazing wife. And I feel foolish that I haven't really told you this until now."

Ziva's eyes began to tear up and she shook her head. Her hand squeezed his affectionately. "You do not have to. But thank you, Tony. You, yourself, are a wonderful father and husband."

_Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you._

Tony bent his head down, easily catching her eyes. "Ziva what I'm trying to tell you is that I love you." He rushed on. "I love you in the most ridiculous way. I have loved you since the first time I saw your smile across the bullpen. Even though I didn't know it then. And when we found you in Somalia, found out you weren't really dead, I fell head over heels in love with you, chained to that chair, filthy and terrified. When you gave birth to our beautiful daughter I could no longer imagine a world you both weren't in. And I'm sorry I could never say it before but 'I love you' isn't ever going to be enough to make you understand how I feel about you."

Time seemed to stand still. They were both in shock that it had actually come out of his mouth. The tears overflowed onto Ziva's cheeks and she sniffled, an involuntary whimper came next.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to say that? Did you not want me to?" Concern flooded Tony's features and he hastily wiped at Ziva's cheeks with his thumb.

Ziva shook her head quickly. "No it is just that... I have waited for you to say that for so long. It was a shock but I am happy."

Tony smiled and pulled her in, kissing first her nose then her lips. "Good."

Tony wrapped both of his arms around her, pulling Ziva tightly in and swaying her back and forth. A few heartbeats later Ziva spoke up. "And Tony?"

"Hmm?" He was mumbling against her hair again.

"I love you, too. Since the very first time I saw you." A smile spread across both of their faces as they continued to sway back and forth, clinging to the other.

_For I can't help falling in love with you._

* * *

_January 21, 2014._

"_Tony?" Ziva wandered through their new home, her bare feet sliding along the hard wood floors effortlessly. The home was nothing short of magnificent and Ziva was completely in love with every square inch of it. From it's cathedral ceilings and deep hardwood floors, to the balcony outside of their room and the newly remodeled kitchen. She ventured further into the house, listening for sounds of her former partner in the mostly empty space. They had settled seven days ago after a grueling search but Tony hadn't let her in the house until this morning since he had read no less than 30 articles on the effects of paint fumes on an unborn fetus. They had both been happily surprised to learn that since Ziva's inheritance made up nearly 75% of the purchase price, Tony was able to offer the remaining 25% out of his savings. Ziva ran her hand along the freshly painted hallway wall as she padded through the house and called out again. "Tony, we're going to be late."_

_The former Mossad Agent poked her head in the first bedroom to the left. Tony was standing in the middle, staring at the freshly painted yellow and gray walls. She quietly let herself in and stood beside of him. Tony had wanted to paint the room already even though they wouldn't know what they would be having for quite some time and had already discussed the possibility of keeping it a surprise for the birth. She had succeeded in preventing him from buying furniture at this point, trying to impress upon him that at such an early stage, anything could happen. Still, she felt herself warming at his tenacity when it came to their unborn child. For all of the cursing and swearing he did when they had found out, he had been the one now who was the most excited about the prospect of having a child. It was to the point where she would wake in the morning to find him already lying with his head on her chest, rubbing her stomach and murmuring quietly. While she herself was terrified of the whole situation._

"_Hmm?" Tony turned at her presence._

_Ziva looked up at him, offering a smile then continued quietly. "We're going to be late for the doctor's appointment."_

_Tony's face went from contemplative to elated. "Is this the one where we get to see peanut on the screen?" _

_He had taken to calling their unborn child "peanut," much to Ziva's annoyance. "Yes, Tony." _

"Well t_hen, let's go!" He kissed her forehead and hurried toward the nursery door. Ziva followed, taking one last glance around the empty room as she exited, closing the door behind her._

_The drive to the doctor's office was fairly quick, even though Tony would not let Ziva drive in an effort to protect their unborn child. When they entered the building, Ziva went to check them in as Tony sat down, pulling a magazine from the rack. Ten minutes later they were being called back by a nurse in pink scrubs with yellow ducks. "DiNozzo?"_

"_That's us." Tony stood first, offering his hand to Ziva who took it with a curious glance his way. _

_They had agreed to do this together, since obviously there was no way out of it. But in the same conversation they had also agreed to take whatever was happening between them slowly since now they had more than themselves to consider. Their child depended on them and having two parents who were acting like adolescents was not something Tony nor Ziva wanted. Nevertheless, she allowed him to hold her hand until they entered the room and the nurse began to take her measurements down. _

"_How long have you been married?" The question caught Ziva off guard as an intrusion rather than medical necessity and she looked from the nurse to Tony for confirmation._

"_A month and a half." Tony answered for her, ignoring the nosey nature of the nurse._

"_Well congratulations!" The blonde nurse smiled brightly and Ziva fought the urge to make a sarcastic or otherwise rude comment. "And how far along do you think you are?"_

_The clip board was poised in the writing position and Ziva forced herself to smile and answer appropriately. "I suppose almost 9 weeks."_

_The room was silent for a moment before the blonde interjected. "Oh! A honeymoon baby! Wow! You sure worked quick!"_

_This time Ziva did not fight the urge to glare at the top of the nurse's head. Tony reached out and touched her leg, in an effort to calm her building rage. _

"_Change into the pink gown and the doctor will be right with you!" The nurse offered another bright smile before walking out of the room._

_Tony turned toward Ziva. "Zi, all of these people are going to be ridiculously happy for us. Especially Abby. You're just going to have to learn to be ok with it."_

_Ziva glared. "I do not want to have to deal with perky blonde dumbos who have never had a fetus inside of them!" _

_Tony grinned. "I think you mean bimbos. But you're much prettier, even moreso with peanut inside of you."_

_She rolled her eyes at him. "You're only saying that because you have to."_

"_No, I'm saying it because it's true. Now get changed." _

_This time Ziva glared harder before sliding down from the table to change into the horrendous pink gown offered to her by the blonde 'bimbo.' By the time she had finished and re-positioned herself on the table, the doctor had made an appearance._

"_Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo?" The redhead asked, sliding into the room and closing the door behind her._

"_Please, Ziva." The brunette offered, still trying to hold the gown closed in the front._

"_Ziva." The redhead nodded and offered her hand. "Hi, I am Dr. Mathews."_

_Dr. Mathews then turned toward Tony and offered the same hand. Tony wiped his hands on his pants before accepting. "Tony."_

_The doctor smiled. "Tony and Ziva."_

_Twenty minutes later, after a full examination that had Tony staring at the corner of the room in embarrassment for the entirety of it, the doctor pulled a machine out from the corner. "So, based on what you have told me, I believe your due date will be August 28__th__. Though, we will need to do a blood test to be positive. And I do need to warn you, especially with first pregnancies, they can either be earlier or late, it's really up to them, so you should be prepared for anything."_

_Ziva bit her lip and looked at Tony. Tony winked. "When are we able to tell the sex of the...baby? Not that we have decided that we wish to know. But in the event..."_

_The doctor cut off Ziva's nervous rambling. "Usually around 19 weeks. So that would be the beginning of April. You will have your usual ultrasound and you can decide from there about whether you want to know the sex or not. You still have plenty of time." _

_Ziva nodded and Tony squeezed her hand. She did not want to know, but she wasn't sure that Tony would be able to keep himself together enough for the remainder of her pregnancy if he didn't know._

_Dr. Mathews began setting up the ultrasound machine. "I don't want you to get discouraged if we do not have much success seeing your baby today. It's still very early and at this stage we're really only listening for the heart beat."_

_She waited for both Ziva and Tony to nod before flipping the machine on and lathering Ziva's still flat stomach with gel. Ziva snuck a glance at Tony before the transducer was placed on her stomach. They watched the screen for a while until the doctor pressed down harder, moving the wand into place. She smiled, turned the screen and increased the volume._

"_That," The redhead pointed to the small oblong object on the screen with her finger. "Is your baby."_

_Both Tony and Ziva stared, eyes wide and mouths open, in disbelief and awe. _

"_Oh wow." Was all Ziva could breathe. Her eyes began to mist over and she blinked rapidly. A voice inside of her head warned her: she should not get attached this early, she knew the dangers._

"_She looks like an animal cracker." All eyes were suddenly on Tony._

"_She?" The doctor asked, amused._

"_An animal cracker?" Ziva's voice was obviously annoyed._

_Tony turned his attention to the doctor first. "That's what I think I hope for." And then to Ziva. "Well, she does! Like a cute little animal cracker."_

_Ziva rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the monitor. "You are absolutely infuriating. It simply looks like a fetus." Though her words were harsh, the anger wasn't in them._

_Tony seemed to silently agree to disagree as he laced his fingers through Ziva's and stared at the screen again._

_After a moment Ziva spoke up once more. "Are we able to have a picture?" Uncharacteristically, she had the sudden urge to show everyone who would look. _

_The doctor smiled. "Absolutely. I can print one for you." _

_Once the monitor had ceased to show their unborn child any longer and they had left the confines of the doctor's office, Tony and Ziva sat in the car, clutching the sonogram of the surprise addition to their new family._

* * *

**A/N #2:** Really just copious amounts of fluff. But also important: I love you's! So we're just moving right along here :) Reviews?


	11. Eleven

**Author's Note**: Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews. I am constantly astounded and thankful. To clear something up because it's come up in reviews: when you are counting weeks in relation to pregnancy, it starts from the first day of your last menstrual cycle, NOT the date of conception. So for those who are confused at the math, I promise it's correct (I have a chart and everything!). Ziva was *technically* 8 weeks and 5 days in the last chapter but I had her round-up since, theoretically, she isn't going to know exactly until the doctor tells her the exact number. Unfortunately, the next chapter will probably take a little longer for me to post. I am in court 4 days this week so I'm not going to have a lot of time (and I didn't really have a lot of time for this chapter so I hope there aren't too many mistakes!) to write/post.

**Disclaimer**: Just because you wish for it doesn't mean you get it. I don't own any characters aside from E.E. and Dr. Mathews.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 5, 2015.

It was early morning and Tony and Ziva had woken not too long ago; Tony going out for firewood and Ziva practicing yoga in the middle of the living room. The early morning light came in through the large window, bathing the room and Ziva in a pale pink light. She squinted against it, closing her eyes as she focused on her breathing. Tony's long-sleeved shirt revealing her long, lean legs and toned abdomen.

Moments later, halfway through her silent mantra, Tony came running back into the cabin, not bothering to shut the door behind him as it banged against the wood wall and startled Ziva who was currently stuck in a scorpion pose.

"Let's go. We've gotta go." His voice and actions hurried.

Ziva lowered herself and watched him for a moment before standing. He was frantically searching the room for something. "What's wrong Tony?"

He paused in his pursuit of the rucksack. "They found us. We have to go."

"What?" Ziva ran to the window, allowing herself to look outside just enough not to be seen. He obviously hadn't _seen_ anyone out there or they would already be out the bedroom window and halfway through the woods by now, foregoing any of the items they had brought. Still, the panicked expression on Tony's face hurtled Ziva into action and she ran across the room and into the bedroom to throw a pair of pants on. She hurried to don her socks and shoes and grabbed her gun from it's place in the nightstand. Ziva paused a moment to make sure she wasn't leaving anything behind before running back out into the living room.

Tony was swiping everything from the pantry into her backpack with one arm so Ziva began gathering items from the bathroom to throw into Tony's rucksack to speed the process up. In five minutes they had effectively packed everything they could readily find into the backpack and rucksack and were sliding into their coats by the front door. Ziva obliged when Tony motioned for her to stay back while he lifted his gun and made sure there was no one on the other side of the door. Once done, Tony grabbed her arm and led them both outside and off of the porch. He gripped her hand tightly as he led her up the hill further into the woods in an obvious effort to camouflage the both of them. They moved quickly, trying not to draw any more attention to themselves as they made their way due South.

Ziva's heart pounded wildly within her chest; a mix of adrenaline and fear. There was a time when she loved the thrill of it all. A time when she lived for moments like this, though, usually, she was the hunter, not the hunted. She felt a twinge of regret for all of the people she terrified and terrorized in her previous life. With Mossad there was no time for feelings or empathy. The orders were specific: acquire the target and assassinate. Feelings were for the weak, the left-behind. But now, a marriage and child later, Ziva was an entirely different person. The hunted was someone's child, father, mother, sibling, friend. The hunted meant everything to someone. She chanced a glance up at Tony. The hunted was someone's soul mate.

Her foot slipped on a rock and she inadvertently tugged on Tony's hand. He turned back, not truly breaking stride, to give her a questioning look as if to ask if she was okay. Ziva nodded at him before looking back down, her attention once again on navigating the slick, tricky terrain.

Five hours later, when they were both exhausted from hiking and too hungry to continue on, they agreed to sit down near an embankment. Ziva pulled two protein bars from her backpack as Tony placed the sleeping bag down on the ground for them to sit. They ate in silence until Ziva's curiosity got the best of her and she turned to Tony.

"Who did you see earlier, Tony?" She looked at the side of his face until he turned toward her.

"It's not who I saw, Ziva, it's what I read." He lifted a moment, pulling something from his back jean pocket before handing it over to her and resuming his consumption of the protein bar.

Ziva took the folded card from his hand and opened it. From the outside it looked to be a wedding card, congratulating 'Chad and Melony' on their wedding. However, on the inside Ziva recognized Gibbs' handwriting below the large printed 'CONGRATULATIONS'.

_They are coming for you. Run. _

_A Ranch Thorns, Join Lost._

Ziva furrowed her eyebrows. "A Ranch Thorns, Join Lost? I know my English is still not the best, but that does not seem to make any sense."

Next to her Tony shook his head. "It's an anagram. We have to figure out the location from it."

Ziva nodded and then a thought dawned on her. "Tony, what if we have already gone the wrong way?"

Tony shrugged. "My own plan was always to go South. To Georgia or Florida or some other heavily populated southern town for the winter. I think Gibbs knew that. I don't think he would send us further North during the winter, it's too dangerous."

Ziva relaxed and re-folded the card, handing it back over for Tony to put it away. "I trust you."

Tony offered her a smile and reached over for her hand. "Good."

A moment of silence and then Ziva spoke again. "So what is the plan now?"

Tony sighed. "Well, we keep heading South, stopping each day when we can't go anymore or until we figure this anagram out."

Ziva contemplated the plan for a beat before nodding. "Okay."

She squeezed his hand and let herself relax; his hand in hers always quashed any anxiety she had felt. For the next ten minutes they stayed that way until it was time to pack up and start running again.

* * *

_February 14, 2014._

_Ziva stood in the middle of the bullpen with Gibbs, Tim, Palmer and Abby at quarter 'til 5 on a Friday afternoon. She had been listening to Tim, Palmer and Abby recant the first case Gibbs and Tim had received since their reinstatement as Agents at the beginning of the week, while Gibbs had sat at his desk listening to them ramble on, grunting occasionally when appropriate in the context of the story. Tony had been down in autopsy for the better part of a half an hour bothering Ducky about Ziva's horrible case of morning sickness and what he could personally do to fix it._

"_I was told I could find a Mrs. DiNozzo here?" Five heads simultaneously whipped around to stare at the intruder and then back to the brunette standing near her old desk._

_Ziva blushed. "Yes, that is me." _

_The delivery man stepped forward, brandishing a large bouquet of sunflowers and a clipboard. "Please sign here." _

_He handed her the clipboard and watched as she signed her name and moved to return the clipboard before he took swapped it with the flowers. Ziva breathed them in deeply and sat them on the desk next to her, pulling the card from the bunch. She could feel the eyes on her as she read it to herself._

_'To my wife and mother of my unborn child: Thank you for standing by my side for the last eight years. I hope for many more. Will you be my Valentine? Check yes or no.'_

_The card had two hand drawn boxes beneath the message which made Ziva giggle despite herself. She grabbed a pen and marked the box labeled 'yes' and turned back toward the gathered agents. "Abby? Will you deliver this to autopsy?" _

_Abby squealed and nodded, snatching the card out of Ziva's hand as she bee-lined for the elevators. Ziva called after her. "Do not read that!"_

_Ziva turned back and rolled her eyes at the questioning stares she received from both Tim and Jimmy. "Sometimes I think you two are just as bad as Tony. Remove your minds out of the gutter. It is simply personal." _

_In contrast to Tony, at least the two of them had the decency to feel bad about their assumptions. Also, neither bothered to correct her English. Tim spoke up. "Sorry, Ziva." _

"_No bother." Ziva waved off another apology from Jimmy. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Gibbs rolling his eyes. _

"_Andiamo, bambina!" Ziva whipped her head around at the familiar command. _

_Tony sauntered up to her side from the elevators. She played along, wondering if he would remember. "Dove?"_

_He winked at her and she shivered. Of course he remembered. "It's a surprise."_

_Ziva watched as Tony went and pulled Tim in for a hug, clapping him on the back. "Glad you got your job back, Probie." Tim rolled his eyes but Ziva could see a hint of a smile._

"_See you guys later!" Tony called and Ziva said her good-bye's quickly before joining Tony, allowing him to grab her hand and lead them to the elevators._

_Despite repeated requests to do so, Tony refused to tell Ziva where they were going until they were in a parking lot, staring at a large, ominous building in front of them._

"_What is this, Tony?" Ziva scrunched her nose, staring at the sizable building. _

_Tony flashed her a grin, pulling her in through the glass doors. "An indoor ice rink!" _

"_Oh, wow. I have not been ice skating in...a very long time." Ziva looked at Tony. "This was very thoughtful." _

_He squeezed her hand and pulled her in, kissing the top of her head. "Just because you're knocked up doesn't mean we can't have a great Valentine's Day." _

_Ziva rolled her eyes at him, pulling away and frowning. Today marked twelve weeks and almost the end of her first trimester. "Am I allowed to ice skate while pregnant? I am unfamiliar with the rules." _

_Tony handed the guy behind the counter a twenty dollar bill and held out his hand to be stamped then motioned for Ziva to do the same. He waited until they had exited the line and moved over to the ice skate rentals before answering her question. "Ducky said it's fine this early as long as you land on your ass, not your stomach, if you're going to fall."_

_Ziva eyed him. "I am sure that Ducky did not use the word ass."_

_They had decided that, while they were waiting to tell everyone else, they would tell Ducky of Ziva's pregnancy as he was much easier to reach than her obstetrician for all of their typical pregnancy questions. He had proved to be a great source of knowledge for them in the last few weeks, helping to dispel many fears and give them tips on various things her doctor was too busy for. That and the fact that Tony was extremely eager to tell someone and Ducky had been a compromise between the two. _

_Ziva watched as Tony knelt down to lace her ice skates before moving to put his own on. While she was barely showing, it was still uncomfortable to bend completely at the waist to tie shoes or skates. She reached for his hand as they stepped onto the ice. Couples skated past them as they entered the rink. The lights were low and a ballad was blasting from the speakers which was accompanied by a disco ball with only pink and red lights adorning it. Ziva glanced at Tony who seemed much more excited than the room full of teenage boys trying to score with their own dates. _

"_You did not have to take me here to get in my pants." She whispered to him as they started to glide across the ice._

_He turned toward her surprised, then motioned to her stomach. "Obviously not!" _

_She swatted his arm with her free hand, lightly enough to signal to him that she knew he was joking._

_They skated halfway around the rink before he spoke up again. "I didn't bring you here to get into your pants. I just thought you deserved a nice Valentine's Day, that's all."_

_Ziva's stomach fluttered and her heart pounded. She squeezed his hand tighter. "Thank you, Tony." _

_Their Valentine's Day ended when Ziva placed a soft kiss to Tony's surprised lips, thanking him for a wonderful day, before they crawled into bed that night. In return he pulled her to him and rubbed her little bump of a stomach as they collectively drifted off to sleep._

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**A/N #2**: Sorry, no answers again but we're going places now! Review, please? It'll make my brutal week in court 100x better to hear from my beautiful readers!


	12. Twelve

**Author's Note**: Thank you all for your lovely responses and especially for all the well-wishes for my week in hell, I mean, court. It went VERY well and I appreciate so very much the encouragement! So, in thanks and to make up for the delay, here is some smut and also the longest chapter I have written thus far!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters or NCIS but I do own the story (though recent spoilers that I've tried to keep myself away from may suggest that I, in fact, am a writer for NCIS). Just remember, if that's the way it's really going, you read it here first! :)

**Warning**: The end of the Present Time is very much rated M so you know, if you're under 18 or have delicate sensibilities, just skip over it once it's obvious where it's going.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 7, 2015.

Two days later they finally came to what was obviously a nearly deserted bed and breakfast in a clearing in the middle of a town called Cedarville. They had been following Tony's map of Maryland closely, not wanting to get themselves lost nor wanting to be so far from civilization that should a problem arise, no help would be available for days. Traveling just outside of small towns seemed like their best and safest option and they had been successful thus far. The previous night they had set up the tent in the middle of the forest, which had proved to be a very cold couple hours of sleep even with the heat reflective emergency blanket from Tony's first aid kit to keep them warm. The dead of winter was now requiring formal shelter and they could no longer go forward without it. It was only 1800 but they were both exhausted and in need of real food, not wanting, or able, to sustain themselves on granola and protein bars any longer. Tony reached for Ziva's hand as they climb the stairs to the porch of the bed and breakfast. Ziva watched his fingers on his other hand idle near his gun before he brought the same hand forward to knock on the front door. After, he brought it back to the same position by his gun, ready for when their knock was answered. Ziva's own arm was twisted behind her back, ready to pull her gun from the waistband of her pants in an instant should they be met with hostility on the other side of the large white door. Ziva had noticed that the porch seemed to wrap around the light blue house so she used her peripheral vision to keep watch in case they were ambushed while waiting for someone to answer the door.

The door swung open suddenly and Ziva reached for her gun in anticipation. "Hello?" An older woman with snow white hair appeared as the massive creaking door swung open. Her deep blue eyes hidden behind thick glasses wandered from Tony to Ziva as she smiled at the pair.

"Hi, we were wondering if you had any rooms available for my wife and I for the night." Tony spoke up, letting his hand fall to his side, obviously assessing the woman as no threat to their lives.

Ziva relaxed as the woman spoke. "Of course. Come inside, it's very cold out there. The weatherman says its only going to be 21 degrees tonight. Come in and I will have Howard show you to your rooms while I make you some supper. We just finished eating."

Tony and Ziva shuffled inside, shutting the door behind them as they followed the older woman through the hallway into a large living room. An older man was sitting in front of a television displaying the nightly news.

"Howard, we have two more guests." The woman spoke to the man who turned at her voice.

He rose from the chair as he spoke. "Welcome to our bed and breakfast. I hope it hasn't been too cold for you out there. 'Supposed to be 21 tonight! Too cold even for snow."

Ziva smiled at the man who slowly made his way over to them. "Here, let me show you to your room. Are you married?"

The question took Ziva a bit off guard but she nodded. Tony was the first to speak. "Two years on the 3rd."

Both the man and woman smiled. "Well, congratulations then. Anniversary trip?" He kept talking as he walked toward the stairs, obviously with the intent that Tony and Ziva follow.

Tony allowed Ziva to go between he and the older man but was the one who responded. "Yep. Hiking. Though not sure with this weather that it was too good of an idea."

The older man snickered to himself. "Maybe not but don't you worry, Marie and I will keep you warm."

"Thank you." Ziva spoke up as they climbed to the second story, the old, worn stairs creaking beneath their feet.

"Here, we'll go to the third floor. There's another couple staying on this floor and with it being your anniversary and all, we don't want any complaints." He turned just enough to wink at Tony before ascending the next flight of stairs to the third floor.

Ziva blushed furiously and Tony poked her in the side, his grin wide enough to show his dimples. Ziva glared. They climbed the rest of the way in silence until Howard had stopped in front of a door furthest from the stairwell and turned toward them. "Here you are. When you're ready, if you want to come down, Marie made her delicious beef stew tonight and you both look like you could use some supper."

Ziva smiled gratefully and Tony spoke up again. "Thanks, we'll just put our stuff down and will be down in a minute."

The older man nodded before shuffling off to descend the stairs, leaving Tony and Ziva standing in the doorway. When they could no longer see the man, Ziva nudged Tony to open the door. Once he did they entered to room and dropped their bags near the foot of the bed. Tony flopped down in the oversized blue chair in the corner of the room, rolling his head back and closing his eyes. When he opened them again he was staring straight into two dark brown pools.

"What are you doing?" Ziva moved onto his lap, straddling his legs.

"I thought danger and uncertainty made you... horny." She smirked before kissing him fully on the lips; something she hadn't gotten to do in days.

"Hungry. It makes me hungry." He whispered against her lips when she pulled away. He gripped her hips, sliding her off of his lap and helping her stand with him. "Which we are late to."

He kissed her again before moving toward the door, throwing his winter coat on the bed as he passed it. Ziva stuck her tongue out at him behind his back before mimicking his actions. When they reached the ground floor, Marie was waiting for them.

"Let me show you to the dining room. I have set out two bowls of beef stew. I hope you will enjoy it." She led them down the hallway and into another room with a long dining table and two bowls of soup. "If you need anything we will be in the living room."

They both thanked her as she left the room before they sat down and began eating in earnest. The warm stew coated and warmed their insides as they ate and Ziva felt as though she could live here forever. Neither one of them spoke as they ate and when they were done ten minutes later they took their bowls into the kitchen to wash them. Once washed, Tony and Ziva made their way to the living room.

Tony peaked his head inside and cleared his throat, grabbing the attention of the elderly couple. "Thank you for dinner. We're, uh...we've had a really long day and are very tired so we're going to head to bed now. Thanks again for the hospitality."

The older man winked at Tony, making him blush and then spoke in unison with his wife. "Goodnight, sleep well."

Tony smiled before turning back to the staircase and following Ziva up the two flights of stairs to their room. Once inside Tony closed the door and clicked the old lock, though realizing it would provide very little protection in such an old house if someone actually wanted to get in their room. Tony watched Ziva stand at the bed and slip off her shoes before he grabbed a foil packet out of his rucksack and stalked over to her.

All at once he grabbed her from behind and spun her around, causing a shriek to erupt from her mouth. Though her face was surprised, he could see a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. He grabbed her thighs, lifting her and using his weight to drop both of them onto the queen-size bed, her legs automatically coming up around his waist. Tony rocked forward, pressing their jean-clad hips together as he kissed her lips fiercely.

He pulled back. "Now that I've had dinner, I thought I'd like my dessert."

Ziva smirked up at him, gripping his shirt in her fists. "Is that so? What if I do not want dessert?"

Tony pulled back an inch to contemplate it then shook his head, grinning. "Not possible. You _always_ want dessert."

He latched onto her neck as he sucked the skin there, his hands traveling down her sides to lift her shirt. When he pulled it up over her head he smirked at her. "In fact, there's nothing in this world you like better than dessert."

In one swift move he had her bra off and lying on the chair they had vacated before dinner. Ziva raised an eyebrow. "You seem very confident in that assertion, Tony."

Tony ignored her and instead traveled down her clavicle and latched onto her right breast, using his right hand to knead her left one in his palm. Ziva's head dipped back, argument forgotten. Tony sucked and licked and kneaded until Ziva was pulling at his hair in an effort to get him to let go. When he finally did she made short work of his shirt, ripping it up over his head and throwing it behind hers, not caring where it landed. Her hands roamed his back hungrily as she kissed him with fervor. He was pulling at her pants now, unbuckling her belt and pushing them down along with her underwear. Ziva wriggled beneath him in an effort to help him remove the last bit of her clothing. When they finally fell to the floor he stood and kicked them away before leaning back down again.

Ziva groaned as his hands ran all over her now naked body. Tony grasped her thighs in both hands, reveling in the feel of the toned muscles beneath his palms. He loved her thighs, they may have been his favorite part of her body. He squeezed and kneaded the muscles as he kissed and licked her neck.

"Tony..." Ziva was attempting to unbuckle his pants with little success.

Tony grinned against her neck before his right hand slipped further between her legs, swiping quickly through the pool of wetness at her center. Ziva hissed and her head flew back, eyes clamping shut. Tony kissed her hard as he plunged three fingers into her. If she hadn't been so wet he would have never done that but she was and he knew she enjoyed the thrill of it. However, he didn't want her to scream and bother their hosts so he kept his mouth on hers, pulling back only as his lungs required, as he moved in and out of her. Soon she was shuddering beneath him, her back arching off the queen bed. He continued his in and out motion slowly until she came down from her high.

"I am very confident in my assertion, Ziva." Tony responded to her comment from earlier, grinning as she finally opened her eyes.

He could tell she was trying to focus on his face as he pulled back, standing to remove his belt and the foil packet from his pants. Ziva used her feet to pull him back toward the bed by his legs. "Are you ready for a second helping already?"

Ziva laughed at his horrible joke before she nodded and flipped over, arching her back. Her hips swayed back and forth slightly as she looked at him over her shoulder, her hair spilling to the side in curls.

Tony fumbled with his jeans as he watched her, almost tripping at one point. He righted himself as he kicked his foot out of his jeans and they skidded across the wood floor. Tony ripped open the packet and fed the condom down his length before he leaned forward, kissing the small of her back. He let his hands roam up and down her thighs as he kissed his way up her spine. When he reached her shoulder blades Ziva tilted her head back further, her spine arching more.

"Tony?" She waited before he acknowledged with a 'hmm?' before she continued. "Fuck me."

Tony groaned and he nipped at her shoulder blades before standing and slowly sinking himself into her. They both moaned at the contact and Tony gripped her hips tightly. When he was all of the way in he paused a moment to allow her to conform around him before he pulled all the way back out. This time he pulled her hips back with him as he slammed inside of her. A few more strokes and Ziva was pushing back against him, obviously needing and wanting more.

He looked down at her, her back arched, a sheen layer of sweat forming, as her head tilted back and her hands gripped the bedspread tightly. This used to be his favorite position with every girl he had been with. But with Ziva it was different; he couldn't help wanting to see her face. This revelation was what caused him to pull out of her and flip her over onto her back in one swift move. Her hair splayed out above her head and his heart seized. She was definitely the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he was lucky enough to call her his. Tony kissed her passionately as he pushed himself back inside of her.

Tony's mouth traveled down to her neck as he rocked deep inside of her. As she urged him faster he slowed down, trying to savor the moment since he couldn't be sure when they would get another opportunity any time soon. Her heels dug into his back and her fingernails scratched his deltoids but he had never felt better. Her soft cries began to quicken and he picked up his pace. Moments later her cries of pleasure sent him toppling over the edge with her as she clung to him.

He rested his forehead against hers, each gasping for air desperately needed. After a short while Tony rolled over, kissing her on the nose before excusing himself to the bathroom attached to their room. When he came back Ziva had crawled underneath the covers and Tony joined her, pulling her naked form on top of him as he lay against the fluffy pillows. He entwined his fingers with hers as he kissed the top of her head.

"Goodnight, Sweetcheeks." He murmured.

"Goodnight, Tony." He felt her kiss his chest before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_March 17, 2014._

"_I am nervous." Ziva wrung her hands together as she studied the decorations around the room. Green crepe streamers swirled over the archways and leprechauns with pots of gold hung from the rafters. _

"_Don't worry, it'll be fine." Tony responded, shrugging his shoulders and taking a long swig of his beer. He had just finished filling the large green bucket on the buffet table with ice and beer._

_Ziva crossed her arms and stared at him, she could feel the anger seeping in already. "Tony, this is a big deal." _

"_I know, but they'll be happy about it, don't worry." He dumped the bag of potato chips into the waiting green leprechaun bowl._

"_I am worried. What if Gibbs does not think this is such a grand idea?" The timer dinged on the oven and Ziva made her way over to the kitchen. She put on the oven mitts and silenced the timer before opening the door and pulling the tin full of cupcakes out. Ziva sat them on the stove, turned off the oven and leaned against the counter. When she didn't hear anything from him she continued. "I am serious Tony."_

"_I gathered." She could hear the smirk in his voice without turning around to see it. _

"_Can you stop being a smart ass for once, Anthony?" Ziva stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall past Tony before slamming the door to their bedroom behind her. _

_Ziva crawled onto the bed and leaned against the headboard, crossing her legs. She never called him Anthony aside from the few times she was extremely angry with him; which she had been more often than not lately. Most of it she could blame on the hormones that were holding her body and emotions hostage. Ziva had never felt so out of control of her own being in her life. She picked at the bedspread and hoped that the rest of the pregnancy wouldn't be fight after fight. A few moments later Ziva heard a knock at the door before it creaked open. _

"_Can I come in?" He was hedging, obviously afraid of what he would find on the other side of the door._

"_You will anyway." Ziva mumbled, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms._

"_Look, Zi." Tony sat on the edge of the bed nearest her. "I'm nervous too. But I don't want to think about what could go wrong and who is going to be happy or not. I'm happy and aside from you, I don't really care if anyone else is or not."_

_She took a moment to consider what he was saying. Yes, the only thing that did actually matter was how they felt. However, having no family aside from her friends left, made Ziva apprehensive. Still, she nodded. "Okay."_

"_Better?" Tony's lips curled into his famous grin._

_Ziva paused a moment to consider. "Better." _

_Tony leaned in and kissed her forehead before standing up and offering her his hand. She took it and allowed him to help her from the bed. With child-like enthusiasm he began pulling her toward the bedroom door. "Let's go frost some cupcakes!" _

_Around 1745 the doorbell started to ring, announcing their guests. Ziva pulled the large white platter from the cupboard where she had been keeping it. She read the writing again and smiled. _Our Little Cupcake, ETA August, 2014. _Ziva sat the plate down and carefully arranged the green iced cupcakes with gold sugar glitter on the large surface, covering the words. She set a round plastic cover over them and pushed the platter into the corner of the kitchen as Tony walked back in with Ducky in tow._

"_How are you feeling my dear?" Ziva smiled and turned toward the medical examiner._

"_As well as I am told can be expected at this stage." Ziva nervously smoothed down the front of her gold dress, picking invisible lint off the front of it._

"_Glad to hear it." Ducky kissed her on the cheek before he left the kitchen._

"_Just waiting on Gibbs, you wanna start serving dinner?" Tony asked, grabbing a bottle of wine and uncorking it._

"_Yes, I am sure he will be here soon." Ziva turned back toward the oven and leaned over to pull the chicken from it._

"_Definitely can get used to the view." Ziva straightened her back and whirled around toward him, the oven door slamming shut in response._

"_You will get used to nothing if you would like to live." She challenged him and he smirked back at her, leaning in close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek. Her heart hammered in her chest at their close proximity. Ziva never was able to deny the electricity between them, even in the early stages of their partnership, though usually used sarcasm to deflect. _

"_We'll see." Tony whispered into her ear before grabbing the large bowl of mashed potatoes sitting on the counter behind her and turning to leave the kitchen with the bowl and the wine._

_Ziva brushed the hair from her face and stood there a moment to compose herself then grabbed the rest of their dinner and made her way out into the dining room to join the rest of their guests. She stole a glance at Tony as she set the food on the table and he winked at her. Ziva knew she should be annoyed with him and herself for allowing herself to become flustered by his antics. However, when he gave her a smile that showed off his dimples she found herself jovially rolling her eyes and offering him a smile back in return. Lately Ziva had found herself unable to stay mad at Tony for any length of time at all. In fact, she found herself mostly enjoying his company and wanting to spend time with him, even missing him when he necessarily went out to spend time with his own friends without her. Her eyes searched for him in crowds and her hand latched onto his when other women looked in his direction. Ziva shivered as she felt a hand on the small of her back, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to reality. She looked up, his eyes questioning. She shook her head at him as she sat down, allowing him to push in her chair before he sat down next to her._

_Two hours later when everyone was done dinner and the dishes had been washed, Ziva meandered back into the kitchen as everyone else moved to the living room. She quickly poked a shamrock in each cupcake before she brought them out to the living room and sat them down on the coffee table. Ziva wrung her hands together as everyone instantaneously grabbed for one. _

_Once everyone had taken one, Ziva watched as Abby looked down quizzically at the platter before moving the remaining cupcakes to the table. The former Mossad Agent bit her lip in anticipation, waiting for Abby who was clearly reading the platter underneath. Finally, Abby let out a squeal and dropped the cupcake she had in her hand before flinging herself at Ziva, bouncing up and down. _

"_Abby...Abby...I am nauseous." Ziva finally allowed herself to say as the bouncing continued on for longer than she could handle. Morning sickness had not been kind to her in the first trimester and the amount of bouncing Abby was doing was sure to kick-start another round of nausea. _

_Behind Abby's head Ziva could see the others moving toward the platter, obviously wondering what the commotion was. Her insides twisted with nerves. Of course Abby would be happy about this. It was the others she was concerned about. She chanced a glance at Tony who was running a hand through his hair nervously, also staring at the group of former co-workers. _

"_No way!" Jimmy was the second to pipe up. A huge smile spread across his face as he looked to Breena and then crossed the room to hug Ziva once Abby had removed herself._

"_Wow. That was quick. Not that I'm really surprised..." Tim trailed off before making his way to Tony to give him a congratulatory hug._

_Ducky beamed, having obviously known for some time now. "A formal congratulations to you both."_

_Gibbs, however, was glaring at both of them and obviously trying in vein not to be outwardly pissed off. That night, he would wait around until everyone had gone home in order to address them privately. At 2310 the three were standing in the living room staring at each other, each waiting for the other to be the first to speak._

"_Can someone please explain to me just what the hell you two were thinking?" The silver-haired man glared at both of them, having obviously decided that he would kick-start the necessary conversation. "Probably not since you obviously weren't thinking."_

"_Boss..." Tony started but Gibbs cut him off._

"_No, DiNozzo. I hope you two know what the hell you're doing. Having a child is a serious responsibility." He shook his head and downed his glass of bourbon._

"_We know." Ziva acknowledged quietly. She could not help the tear that made its way down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away. This was what she had been afraid of and she felt as though she were a teenager being scolded, not an adult who had made a decision._

"_Ziver." Gibbs moved forward, taking her into his arms and hugging her fiercely. He cradled her head as she buried her face in his chest. Ziva clung to him as he held her and she sought the comfort she desperately needed in her father-figure._

_When she pulled back and he let go, Ziva took in a deep breath. "This may not have been what we had planned, but it has happened and we are happy. Please be supportive. We will need your help."_

"_You've always got my help, you know that." Gibbs stared hard at Ziva then Tony. Tony simply nodded in confirmation._

_Ziva gave a small nod before letting herself smile. "Would you like to see the picture?"_

_She could tell Gibbs was trying not to smile as he nodded and followed her into the guest room where they had moved the framed photo of the sonogram so that no one would have the chance to see it before they announced Ziva's pregnancy. When they came out ten minutes later, Gibbs shook Tony's hand and kissed Ziva's head before he left for the night. In the now empty house, Ziva sought for Tony's hand and once found, wrapped her fingers tightly between his. _

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**A/N #2**: I hope this makes up for the delay in posting! Please let me know what you think (and even what you would like to see!)


	13. Thirteen

**Author's Note**: Oh goodness! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Sorry this has taken so long. The musical opens tomorrow and between that and work I have had zero time to eat let alone publish the next chapter. But as a birthday present to myself I wanted to get this out for all of you wonderful readers lest you forget all about this story! I hope you enjoy and also, I promise to try harder for the next one! :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own NCIS but I have a feeling that in two weeks time I will wish I did! Also, the beginning of this is a heavy T rating.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 12, 2015.

The sun penetrated the sheer yellow curtains and cast an unwavering glare across Tony's face. He squinted before rapidly blinking and then contorting his body in an attempt to rid his eyes of the blinding light. Ziva groaned in his arms and he paused, not wanting to wake her. He quickly assessed his surroundings, realizing they weren't on the cold ground of the outdoors but nestled snuggly in a bed; the memories of the night before rushed forward from his subconscious and Tony looked back at the naked woman lying next to him, a sly smile spreading across his face. He let his fingers ghost over her soft, olive skin as he trailed kisses down her spine. She mumbled in her sleep and moved closer to him, her body now flush with his. He re-upped his efforts to wake her by latching onto her neck and sucking the sensitive flesh there while trailing his fingers up and down her legs. When Ziva moaned his body responded.

"Tony!" Her high pitch screech filled the room and his ears as she sleepily struggled to pull herself away from his body.

Tony chuckled at the comical situation and Ziva turned and swatted at him, pulling the majority of the covers with her. "Sorry but it _is_ morning."

He watched her roll her eyes and brush the hair from her face. "Tony, you are over the age of 40, you should know how to control yourself by now."

He smirked and leaned in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around her. When he pulled back he brought her with him, pulling her on top. "Not around you."

Her response eye roll was less than enthusiastic, leading him to believe that his comment flattered her even if she didn't fully believe it. He went in for another kiss and rolled them over so that he was now hovering over her. Tony looked into her eyes before once again capturing her lips, letting her tongue invade his mouth when she asked. He kissed her hard and pressed himself against her as she wrapped her legs around his hips. The kiss became frenzied at the same moment a knock sounded loudly at the door. Tony broke the kiss and groaned into Ziva's shoulder. Ziva huffed.

"Breakfast." The loud voice they recognized as Howard's came through the heavy door.

"Thank you." Ziva replied in a sing-song voice too happy to be hers at the moment.

They waited until they could hear footsteps descending the stairs before either moved. Tony sat up, pulling most of the covers with him, and looked down at Ziva's still naked form.

"Right now, I hate Howard." Tony huffed as his hands splayed across her rib cage. He could feel her breathing beneath his hands and it comforted him in the oddest way.

"Yes." Ziva snuck a glance at the old clock on the bedside table. "However, it is 0915; we are late."

Ziva sat up, her legs falling from around his waist. Tony grabbed a fistful of her hair and brought her mouth to his. "Can't we just be a little later?"

When he finally pulled back, Ziva was gasping for air. "No. We have things to do today."

He pouted when she climbed out of the bed and began digging through the rucksack for clothing. Begrudgingly he joined her and before long they were entering the dining room, the smell of bacon permeating the air. In addition to Howard and Marie, two others were seated at the large table. Tony pulled Ziva's chair out for her before sitting down himself. He smiled at the pair across from him.

"Tony and Ziva, this is Stephen and his wife Marisol." Marie gestured toward the couple quietly eating their breakfast.

"Morning." Tony acknowledged with a nod of his head toward the pair.

"Good morning." Ziva parroted, including a bright smile.

"Nice to meet you." Stephen, a tall, dark man smiled across the table. His eyes were a shade of copper Tony had never seen before.

"Hello!" Marisol, a thin red-head, exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically for 0930. The large rock on her left ring finger shone brightly as she held up her hand to wave.

After Tony and Ziva had filled their plates and began eating, Marisol spoke up again in her deeply southern accent. "So, where are ya'll from?"

"Pennsylvania. And you?" Tony answered quickly. They hadn't thought of an in depth cover story for themselves since they hadn't factored being in a position to discuss such specifics with anyone.

"Alabama." Marisol smiled widely at him. "So do you have any children?"

"Marisol." Her husband warned and smiled apologetically at Tony and Ziva.

"No, it is okay. Yes, we have…four." Ziva answered with a smile. Tony stared at her in disbelief longer than he had intended before clearing his throat and continuing to eat his food. He had assumed they would say that they had no children.

"Oh wow!" Marisol exclaimed from across the table and then added sheepishly. "We are working on number one."

"Good luck!" Tony added quickly, wanting to put an end to the conversation.

Thirty minutes later Tony and Ziva were making their way back up to their room to continue working on figuring out the anagram Gibbs had given them when they heard an extra set of feet ascending the steps behind them. They jogged to the landing and waited, hoping that they had not let their guards down so much that someone had entered the bed and breakfast unbeknownst to them. To their relief, a moment later they saw a flash of red hair peak up over the banister.

"Hey ya'll." Marisol's southern accent drawled as she reached the top of the landing.

"Hello again." Ziva gave her a tight-lipped smile.

Marisol glanced over her shoulder, down the staircase, before pulling something out of her back pocket. She reached out and handed over a shiny silver key to Ziva. "Jethro says you'll know what to do with it."

Ziva flipped the key over in her hand and stared at Marisol curiously. 'Jethro'? Who even called him Jethro anymore? The red hair, however, gave her some idea.

"Uh, thanks?" Tony spoke up, also confused at the situation.

Marisol nodded, half turned and then turned back toward the pair. "Oh, I almost forgot."

The red head launched herself at Tony first, obviously assessing that Ziva would take her down in an instant, and threw her arms around Tony's neck. "Abby says hello."

When she let go of Tony she moved on to Ziva and hugged her as well, though less enthusiastically than she did Tony.

It took a moment for Ziva to regain her thoughts after Marisol had let go of her. "And you are?"

"Marisol." The red head deadpanned.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "To Gibbs. Who are you to Gibbs?"

Realization dawned on Marisol's face and she smiled. "A friend."

Tony and Ziva both watched as she turned and made her way back down the stairs, pausing at the second floor landing to wave up at them before disappearing from view.

"What just happened?" Tony stared after her retreating figure, confused.

"Gibbs." Ziva twirled the key around in her fingers before closing her hand around the object.

Tony glanced at the key between her fingers before he started walking toward their door. "So whatever the answer to that anagram is probably also relates to that key."

"Obviously you have not lost your detective skills, Tony." Ziva smirked at his back as she followed him into the bedroom.

"Smart ass." He mumbled loud enough for her to hear as she shut the door behind her and clicked the lock.

"What is that saying? Oh, better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass, yes?" Ziva grinned widely. She knew she had gotten that right by the look on Tony's face.

Tony stared at her in disbelief. "Unbelievable. You learned more being alone in the woods than being around three other people all day long for 8 years."

Ziva shrugged and tucked the key into her pocket for safe keeping. She watched as he grabbed the card out of the rucksack and sat on the bed before she joined him, curling herself into his side. It was easier for her to think while she could feel the warmth of his body and smell the soap on his skin. And maybe it had always been that way. When he pressed himself up against her when she was seated at her desk working on a case. Or when they were back to back, guns drawn and firing. Or when they were together at home bathing their daughter in their bathtub. After Somalia it had taken a long time to feel safe in her own skin but when his skin was on hers the fear dissipated and she felt stronger and more like herself somehow.

"Yeah?" Tony's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Hmmm?" Her brown eyes flickered up to his green.

"What's wrong?" His forehead wrinkled in concern and he put the card down on the bedspread.

Ziva shrugged. "It is nothing."

"It's probably not nothing." She felt his hand snake up the back of her shirt and she shivered.

"I miss our daughter." It wasn't a lie.

Tony grasped her firmly as he wound his hand through her hair to rest on her neck. "I know. So do I. I couldn't begin to imagine how you feel. And I'm sorry, I wish I could fix it. I'm trying."

"I know." She buried her face in his shoulder as he held her tightly until she thought the sadness would consume her. Ziva wanted to be as far away from this conversation and her feelings as possible. When she pulled back she kissed his lips softly in thanks. "What were you asking me before?"

He took a moment to look at her closely, as if inspecting for signs that she wasn't okay before he answered. "I said that it's probably a State...the anagram. Or at least partly a State."

Ziva nodded. "You are right. We can rule out the entire West Coast for now. I do not think that Gibbs would send us there."

Tony nodded and picked the card back up. "And any State with an M in it since there are none. And Georgia, no G's."

"Also Florida." Ziva stared at the anagram.

Tony began to furiously write and Ziva squinted in an attempt to read it. "Carolina...North!"

"I always thought it was North Carolina, no?" Ziva stared, confused.

"Well, yes it is North Carolina. Sorry I just figured it out backward and realized it couldn't be South since there wasn't a 'u'." Tony grinned at her before he discarded the card again and took her off guard by flipping her on her back.

"Tony!" She squealed as her back hit the mattress.

He yanked her shirt up to her neck and began peppering her stomach with kisses, his hands splayed across her ribs again. Ziva wiggled beneath him as he nipped at her skin, her hands finally grasping his hair in fistfuls. "Tony, what are you doing?"

"I would think that is obvious." He quipped between kisses.

Ziva rolled her eyes but let him continue. Her skin was starting to flush the lower and more seductively he kissed.

"I love your stomach." Tony's lips ghosted around her naval.

Ziva bit her lip. "It is not as flat as it used to be."

He chucked before using his tongue to lick the same area. His hands began to follow a downward trajectory. "Maybe not but my daughter lived in there for 9 months."

Ziva smiled at his sentimental reasoning. This Tony, the one she had been married to for the last two years, was far different from the Tony she had met 10 years ago. She let her mind wander to those 9 months of aches and pains and cravings and nausea as Tony's mouth continued it's assault on her stomach. She remembered how terrified she had been when they had found out. And how unsure and conflicted she remained through-out most of the pregnancy. But then there were always the little things that Tony did to remind her she wasn't in it alone. Those were the memories that warmed her from the inside and made whatever trepidation she felt wash away every time. Her mind raced as his mouth reached the edge of her pants. He flicked open the button and Ziva sat up.

"St. John's Beach!" She gasped.

* * *

_April 15, 2014. _

_Ziva was four months along and barely sporting anything in the baby bump department but constantly felt the need to rub her stomach anyway. For the last week she had been feeling the little flutters of movement during all hours of the day. Abby smiled at the gesture before clapping her hands together. Since she had found out, Abby had been sending both Tony and Ziva a barrage of text messages demanding answers to questions they hadn't even thought of themselves. In person was no different, Ziva had come to find out, and thirty minutes into her visit Ziva found herself exhausted._

"_Soooo, when do you find out what "honeymoon baby" is?" Abby was practically bouncing on her chair. Abby had started calling it honeymoon baby since she had found out, using her own math skills, that the conception must have occurred during their honeymoon. And she had asked the same question three other times over the last week. _

_Ziva sighed. "We do not know if we want to know yet."_

"_But you HAVE to, Ziva! How will we know what to buy for the little guy?...Or girl?" Abby frowned. "See! It's already a problem." _

_Ziva rolled her eyes. "Abby, Tony and I need to make that decision first. We will tell you when we do." _

"_Fine." Abby pouted another minute before plastering a large grin on her face. "We need to plan your baby shower!" _

"_Oh...god." The thought was terrifying to Ziva. Luckily, Tony took that moment to waltz into Abby's lab. _

"_Just looking for my favorite girls." Tony flashed a wide grin while Ziva rolled her eyes and Abby jumped up, throwing her arms around Tony's neck. Tony gave Ziva a mock terrified look behind Abby's back and Ziva stifled a laugh._

_Once Abby let him go he turned to Ziva, placing his hand on her small bump. "How are my beautiful girls feeling today?"_

_When Abby realized he wasn't talking about her and Ziva she jumped up and down. "So it's a GIRL!"_

_Ziva rolled her eyes and groaned before glaring at Tony. "No. We do not know. Tony just wishes for it to be a girl so that is what he keeps calling it."_

"_You want a girl, Tony? That is so cute!" Abby squealed before throwing her arms around Tony's neck again._

"_Ziva wants a boy." Tony offered once he was let go of._

_Ziva glared harder. "I never said that." _

"_You did." Tony nodded, flashing Abby a smile._

"_Did not." Ziva folded her arms underneath her chest. _

_Abby's eyes volleyed between the two. _

"_Did not what?" Palmer strode into the lab, bouncing on his toes._

"_Say I wanted a boy." Ziva did not take her eyes off of Tony to acknowledge Jimmy._

"_Oh! We are having a boy!" Jimmy flashed a stupid grin which turned into a frown after a moment. "Wait, why don't you want a boy?"_

_Ziva tore her eyes from Tony's to look at Jimmy. "I did not say that I did not want a boy, I simply said that I do not have a... preference, yes?"_

_Jimmy nodded in realization. "Ohhh."_

"_Jimmy!" Abby assaulted him, throwing her arms around him. "When does Andrew come?" _

_Since Jimmy and Breena had chosen Russia as their adoption country,with their rules and regulations, they had needed to wait at least 8 months until they could adopt Andrew even though they had been approved since the baby was only 2 months old._

"_Next week. We leave next week to get him!" Jimmy bounced on his toes, beaming._

_Tony slapped him on the shoulder. "Congrats."_

_Jimmy nodded then gestured toward Ziva. "You too!"_

_Ziva, for her part, forced a smile. It wasn't that she wasn't thrilled about the little gift that was currently pressing on her bladder. She was so beyond thrilled that she sometimes didn't even believe it was real. But she had also felt bad in front of her friends who thought this whole thing was a real marriage. That the pregnancy was a consequence of married bliss. Only she and Tony and Gibbs knew the truth. Ziva stole a glance at Tony who now had an arm draped protectively around her. Or maybe it was a consequence of 8 years of being so wrapped up in another person that you weren't sure where either of you began and ended. _

_Tony kissed her temple before taking her hand and saying goodbye to Jimmy and Abby as they headed upstairs to say their goodbye's to the others before their appointment. He fiddled with the ring on her finger as the elevator took them up the remaining floors. _

"_If you want to know, we can ask the doctor today to tell only you." Ziva caught on to his nervous apprehension._

_Tony turned toward her and smiled. "I want to know so bad but even more I want to be surprised with you when we meet him or her." _

_Ziva looked into his eyes long enough to be able to tell that he was being honest with her and she nodded. "Okay. Then we wait."_

_He squeezed her hand as the elevator doors opened and they walked out into the bullpen. Tim met them immediately and Tony went over to drop down behind the junior agent's desk. They watched as Tony put his feet up and began rummaging around in the only drawer he could reach. Tim rolled his eyes and turned fully to Ziva._

"_If you ever have enough of him and want a vacation, I have a beach house in St. John's you can hide at." McGee's tone was just joking enough for Ziva to chuckle._

"_I will remember that Tim. Thank you." She kissed his cheek as he blushed. "Get up, Tony, and stop rummaging around in McGee's belongings. We have an appointment I would like to not be late for."_

"_Whose side are you on anymore? Remember whose baby you're carrying. It's not McNutter Butter's!" Tony grumbled as he begrudgingly dropped his feet and stood from McGee's chair. _

_Ziva rolled her eyes alongside Tim as Tony made his way back over to them before allowing Tony to slip his hand into hers, something she had yet to fully get used to, as he pulled her back toward the elevators. Ziva looked at him out of the corner of her eye as he lifted their entwined hands and kissed the back of hers. Sometimes she thought that maybe his affection was all for show, an act he put on when he thought others were looking. Except his eyes told a different story. His hands lingered longer. His kisses softer. His heart beat just a little faster when she lay on his chest at night. Sometimes Ziva let herself believe this was all real when he held her hand just tight enough in hers. _

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**A/N #2**: Thoughts? Opinions? Anyone have an extra 2 hours in their day I can borrow? :)


	14. Fourteen

**Author's Note**: Thank you all so much for the reviews and also for the birthday wishes. You are amazing :) I know I had said that I was trying to get this out before the premier of Season 11, but I don't believe that's entirely possible anymore. There are still 30 outlined chapters in total and we're only at 14 (and clearly we have so far to go!). I drastically underestimated my free time to write as well as the amount of time it takes me to do so. I research everything _ad nauseum_ because it would really bother me if something was incorrect (even to the point of making sure the dates I use fall on the correct day of the week). But, we're making progress and I hope this Chapter offers something that the others have been skirting around: Ziva's true feelings past/present. So I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think. I love the follows and favorites (thank you!) but it's the reviews that really tell me what I am doing right/wrong and that influence the trajectory of this story.

**Disclaimer**: Clearly I own nothing but this story idea and the very few characters I have made up. Also, any errors are mine and are due solely to my sleep-deprived state of mind.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 13, 2015.

It had been a long, exhausting four days of travel and Ziva had never been more excited to see the bright lights of a busy town the night before. Once they had figured out the anagram Tony had packed their things quickly and they had said goodbye to Howard and Marie before they began the next leg of their journey. She had followed Tony endlessly through the wilderness: from town to town, park to park, stopping only for rest and food. Ziva had been thoroughly exhausted by the time they had reached the state of Virginia. Still, they had trudged through, meandering up and down steep hills and maneuvering around ice cold rivers and lakes. She had let Tony lead with his various maps, which he marked occasionally, and they followed the previous route he had figured out during their time at Chad's cabin. Ziva had allowed Tony to take the reigns easily; unlike when they were still partners, in which case she would usually threaten his life until he caved and allowed _her_ to decide the route they would take. Now, she deferred to him easily and often. Mostly because she had stopped being sure of herself and her decisions sometime around when her father died. She needed Tony to make her decisions for her, to tell her which option was the best. And also, she trusted him. There was no one else in the world that she would let lead her blindly.

Ziva turned on her side, curling closer to the sandy-haired man in bed with her. They had arrived in Colonial Williamsburg less than 7 hours ago much to Tony's excitement. When they had arrived he had gone on and on about the history of the town and how thrilled he was to show her every touristy place they had time to stop at. This is what had led them to get a room in one of the Colonial Taverns. Though Ziva knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't so much his excitement over the colonial town that made Tony want to stay there. It was his concern for her that made his brain overload with options to take her mind off the fact that she was running for her life and didn't know when she'd be able to be home again or see their daughter. _If_ she ever would see her daughter again. The thought made her shiver and move imperceptibly closer to Tony's still form. Her heart ached with the kind of love that made people do the most foolish things. In fact, she could count on one hand the things she _wouldn't_ do for him and those were things he would never ask of her anyway.

Ziva reached out her hand and traced a finger down Tony's scruffy cheek, the pad of her pointer finger ghosting over rough stubble. She placed a feather-light kiss to his chest next when he didn't wake. She watched his eyes twitch behind his eyelids but they stayed closed until she ran her bare leg up his and rested it on his thighs.

"Hmm?" Tony mumbled sleepily.

"Are you awake?" Ziva whispered into his chest where her head was still resting.

"Why do I have the feeling that my answer has to be yes?" Tony asked without opening his eyes.

"Because you love me and I am ready to start our day at this...colonial...place." Ziva twirled a hand in the air, indicating the town they were in.

Tony chuckled before rolling them over and kissing her soundly on the lips. "Okay, let's go."

Two showers and a breakfast later they were outside of their tavern attempting to read the map of the town they had found in their room.

"How is it that you can guide us through the wilderness but you are having much difficulty with a map of a small colonial town?" Ziva asked, puzzled by his inability to get them anywhere.

"Don't worry, I got it." Tony was turning the map in every direction attempting to figure out where they were.

"See there, the map says 'looking North'." Ziva pointed to the blue indicator on the map of the town.

Tony flipped the map back around so that the 'looking North' indicator was oriented right. "Okay but where is North?" He squinted at the map and then around at the buildings.

Ziva rolled her eyes and looked down at her watch's compass. "This way."

She pointed to their right and Tony turned his body and the map in that direction. "Got it."

They stood there another moment looking at the places to see on the map before Ziva spoke again. She excitedly pointed to the map. "Oh! A gunsmith!"

Tony grinned. "Let's go!"

Seven hours later Tony and Ziva found themselves inside a horse-drawn carriage on their way to the dinner reservations they had made earlier in the day. Tony held Ziva's gloved hand tightly in his as they moved down the streets slowly. She wanted to tell him that she appreciated his kindness and thoughtfulness but she couldn't form the words around the lump that had formed in her throat at the way he was looking at her.

"It's going to be okay." He said abruptly and she looked at him quizzically. She watched as Tony shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Everything will be okay. You know, if it's not okay, it's not the end." He grinned a moment before continuing. She didn't get the reference. "Six years ago I would have thought that we wouldn't make it. That we couldn't do this more or less on our own. But six years ago I didn't think we'd be married with a child either. We survived being apart on two different continents and we survived Somalia and we survived Jeanne and Michael. We survived your father dying and the torrent of disaster that followed. We can survive this too we just have to believe it. And I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Gibbs won't let anything happen to our daughter either, you know that. I know you've been feeling defeated and maybe sometimes like you don't think you can continue to do this, to fight, to run. But I'm telling you that you can. I'm telling you that you're the strongest person I know. I'm telling you that I love you and I'm in this with you. And I desperately want you to believe it because I know you don't right now."

Ziva hastily wiped at the tears spilling onto her cheeks and sniffled. She marveled at the man he had become; the one that was so different from the one she had met all of those years ago and different still from the one she had married. His eyes told her to believe him and her heart was along for the ride. It was her head that sometimes had the problem following along.

"I... I am trying. I know that you love me and you are here to protect me. I just feel so..." Ziva paused, not sure of the right words.

"Defeated? Helpless? Broken?" He offered.

Ziva nodded, more tears slipping down her cheeks at his apparent ability to see right into her soul. "Yes, those. And more. I am not..." She trailed off and tried again. "I am used to being alone. Of having no one. And yet, here you are. You and Gibbs and Tim and Jimmy and Abby. And I am not used to considering someone else when I make a decision. Mossad did not train me for that. In fact, it was frowned upon. But now I have to. I have to consider you and our daughter and sometimes I do not know if I am making the right choices. I often think that I have made one very big mistake by running instead of fighting. If I had stayed and fought then at least there would only be two outcomes. I would either have died or I would be home right now with you and our daughter. I would not have taken you away from her and we would not be watching our every move in fear."

Tony grasped her chin tightly, bringing her eyes back up to his own. "No. You can't think that way, Ziva. You can't. We all thought that running was the best option. Running gave you the best chance to make it back home. Home to our daughter. In your head you know that we couldn't have beat them there. It was their game in D.C. and we had to change their plans. And most of all, we had to get their focus off of our daughter, away from her and on to finding you. I know that this whole thing has been awful but don't second guess yourself. And as much as I hate Mossad right now, you have to believe that they trained you for this. Even considering our daughter and me, you know which choices to make. Where is the completely arrogant Mossad ninja that I fell in love with?"

Ziva glared as Tony winked back at her, letting her know he was joking about the arrogant part. She sighed as he took her into his arms. "You are right, Tony. I will be better, I promise."

Tony kissed the top of her head and held her tighter. "We, Ziva. You and me."

She let him hold her that tight, despite being mostly unable to breath from the restriction, as the carriage bumped along the road until they reached their destination and the driver opened the door. As Tony reached out his hand to help her down and she took it, Ziva remembered one very important thing: for the last ten years, she was always stronger with her partner by her side.

* * *

_May 6, 2014._

_Ziva rubbed her back as she made her way into Director Vance's office. She and Tony had received a call the day before asking them if they were available for a meeting today and they had agreed only after Tony had Gibbs get on the phone and reassure him that it wouldn't be a hostile environment. _

_Her husband pulled out a chair for her as she sat down at the conference table, rubbing her protruding stomach. Their child was very active in the morning, often doing what Ziva could only imagine was some form of martial arts in her uterus. She was already hungry despite eating breakfast a mere 45 minutes ago and had hoped this meeting came with pastries or donuts, preferably both. Tony sat and Ziva grinned as Vance pulled a box of donuts from behind his desk. Obviously as the father of two children he knew how to appease a pregnant woman. Ziva reached for a donut as Vance began speaking._

"_I am sure you are wondering why I asked the both of you here." Ziva felt Vance's eyes on her as she took a large bite of the donut in her hand. "Well, maybe one of you is wondering why I asked you both here." _

_Ziva's eyes flickered from Tony to the Director before she sheepishly put the donut down on the napkin that had appeared in front of her. "Sorry."_

_Vance tried to hide a smirk as he looked down at the files in his hand. "It has come to our attention that there are two open spots for agents at this time and it seems as though..."_

"_No." Tony said hastily. _

_Ziva, who was busy running a finger through the jelly seeping from the donut, jumped slightly at his tone._

"_I wasn't finished Mr. DiNozzo." Vance warned him. Ziva looked back and forth between the two who seemed to be having a serious glaring match at the moment. _

_Ziva shrugged. "I myself would like to hear what Director Vance was going to say if you do not mind, Tony." _

_Really she just wanted to finish her donut and have another before they were escorted out of the building. She figured that Tony probably assumed that was her motive as well when he sat back and turned his head to glare at her instead._

"_As I was saying. We have two openings. One seems to be a Lead Investigator position opposite Gibbs. The other is down in Linguistics, no field work. Now, I know neither of you have applied to work for NCIS again. However, we did receive a very...persuading nomination on each of your behalves."_

"_Gibbs." Ziva unintentionally blurted out as she swallowed the last of the jelly donut and moved on to a more enticing-looking sprinkled one._

"_No, actually. Though, when asked, he did give glowing recommendations." _

_This caught Ziva's attention and she put the donut that was halfway to her mouth down. "No? Then who?"_

_She could tell Tony was curious as well because he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. Though he didn't comment, just simply stared ahead as he waited for the answer._

"_It seems a former teammate of yours thinks very highly of the both of you." Vance smiled at them as he pulled a paper from each file._

"_McGee?" Ziva questioned, somewhat confused at the prospect. They hadn't spoken to him about working for NCIS again. In fact, they weren't even sure they wanted to work for NCIS again due to Ziva's pregnancy._

_Vance only pursed his lips before handing over the papers. Ziva looked down. Hers was a formal application to the Linguistics Unit. She could only assume Tony's was for the Lead Investigator position previously mentioned. "If you consider taking either position, or both, fill out the application and have it back to me by the end of the week. The positions will be yours. If not, I wish you both much success in the future, both professionally and personally."_

_Vance stood and took the two files back to his desk, giving Ziva a chance to glance at Tony. He was staring at the paper application with a dumbfounded expression on his face. When she stared long enough he finally looked up at her. She raised her eyebrows in return and he squinted his eyes in response. While they had always communicated that way while someone else was in the room, it was clear to both of them that this was a decision they would have to discuss at home, preferably after dinner. Tony stood and gathered both of their applications, folding them and putting them in the pocket of his khakis. Ziva could tell that was her cue to move as well so she stood and stretched before pushing her chair back in. She glanced at the forgotten donut, biting her lip. Tony was already halfway to the door by now. She quickly snatched the donut before turning toward the door to follow Tony._

"_Ziva?" Vance's voice caught her attention and she sheepishly turned toward him. He was smiling. "The whole box was for you." _

_Ziva's eyes turned to saucers and she beamed at him before dashing back to the table and grabbing the white and orange box. She mouthed a thank you as she quickly slipped out the door after Tony. She held onto the box and her donut tightly as she followed Tony down the stairs and into the bullpen. She caught Gibbs' eyes as she turned the corner._

"_It seems your meeting went well." Gibbs gestured toward the box of donuts with a smirk.  
"Oh? Yes." Ziva smiled and offered the box to him. "Would you like some?" _

_Gibbs shook his head 'no' and winked at her before he sat down at his desk. "Thank you."_

_She smiled back and sat the box down on Tony's old desk. He had gone directly over to Tim; she assumed to discuss the nomination they had known came from him. Ziva finished her donut as she waited for Tony. _

_Out of the corner of her eye Ziva could see a flash of black hair that belonged to the forensic specialist and she braced herself for the onslaught. _

"_Ziva!" Abby was jogging over in her 6-inch platforms. Ziva cringed at the thought of having to wear anything more complex than flats at the moment. Her ankles had started to swell and by the end of the day all she ever wanted to do was have Tony rub her feet while they watched another movie in the living room. It had become their nightly ritual and Ziva looked forward to it from the moment she woke in the morning._

"_Abby." Ziva smiled as her friend wrapped her in a hug._

"_How far now?" Abby asked, still holding on._

"_23 weeks." Ziva answered back as Abby let her go._

"_Halfway there! More if honeymoon baby comes early!" Abby squealed as she held onto Ziva's arms. She beamed at her a second longer before she bee-lined for Tony. Ziva smirked as he got the full affect of an Abby hug. "Oh! I almost forgot! Little Andrew is here!" _

"_Oh? Where?" Ziva asked, she craned her head around the bullpen._

"_They were checking out the daycare facility. Should be up here any second now." Abby was bouncing on her toes, clearly at least three Caf-Pow's into the morning already._

"_Ziva!" Another female voice broke into the brief silence._

_Ziva could immediately recognize it as Breena and she turned her head in the direction of the elevators. Sure enough, Breena was making her way to them carrying a baby on her hip. Jimmy was directly behind her, diaper bag weighing him down considerably._

"_Good morning Breena...Jimmy." Ziva smiled as they got closer. _

_They stopped in front of her and Jimmy dropped the diaper bag onto her old desk with a loud sigh. She chuckled as she watched him wipe his brow and fiddle a moment with his glasses. _

"_This must be Andrew?" Ziva asked, stepping forward to get a better look at the baby. She had figured she would meet him at the baby shower Abby was throwing next weekend and had spent the past weekend making sure hers and Tony's gift was acceptable. They had just gotten back from Russia a few days ago and Ziva was glad to be able to spend a few moments of time with the new parents before the rest of their family and friends monopolized their time._

_Breena beamed at her. "Yes. Isn't he just wonderful?"_

_Ziva smiled back. "Oh yes, he is wonderful. Congratulations!"_

"_Would you like to hold him?" Breena asked, still smiling at Ziva._

"_Oh, could I?" She found that she had meant it, which surprised not only herself, but, later, Tony would admit that it had surprised him too. It wasn't that either of them thought she wouldn't be a good mother to her own child. It was just that she had never really taken to other people's children before. She had to consider that maybe the pregnancy had changed her mind about this too._

_Breena beamed at her again before she handed the 11-month old over. Ziva cradled him on her hip as she stared down. She took in his chubby cheeks and blue eyes as he stared back up at her. She ran her hands over his soft baby skin before placing a kiss to his forehead, breathing in his baby scent. Ziva's heart swelled and she rocked him back and forth on her hip. When she looked back later, it was this moment that made her unafraid to parent her growing child and actually become excited over the prospect. Andrew smiled a tooth-less grin as he grabbed onto her scarf._

"_Oh, no. I'm sorry." Breena started toward them apologetically._

"_Oh no, do not be. He is not harming anything. I think he just likes the colors." Ziva kept her eyes on the baby as he pulled at her scarf. She smiled and lifted the ends to tickle the baby's nose. Ziva let out a throaty laugh when Andrew giggled and threw his head back at her antics. They continued this way for some imperceptible amount of time and when she looked up again she found Tony's eyes on her. His intense gaze made her blush and she bit her lip. It was a look that told her more than she may have been ready to know. It was a look that held so much love she thought her own heart might explode. Ziva held Andrew tighter as she continued to stare at Tony, both completely oblivious to the world, or people, around them._

_Later that night, when it came time for their nightly dinner and a movie, Ziva noticed when Tony let her pick the movie and when he positioned the pillows just the way she liked them and when he took extra time to rub her swollen ankles. It was maybe the first time that Ziva realized how amazing of a father Tony would be and how wonderful it was that, by some chance of fate, he would be the one who would help raise her child. And she was thankful. _

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**A/N #2**: My sleep-deprived brain needs review-loving to make it through the week! I promise some wild action in the next chapter, if so. Well, okay, I promise that anyway but still, reviews are nice :)_  
_


	15. Fifteen

**Author's Note**: Thank you all, once again, for your lovely, wonderful, beautiful, etc. reviews! You make this journey worth so much. I realize that this Chapter is short, compared to the others, but I hope it offers some answered questions, at least a hint of it! For the person who asked: we will find out their baby's name at the birth so sit tight, it's coming up. :) And also, I am so thankful and humbled that this story can be a comfort for some of you, especially considering the looming season premier. This is why I wanted to post this Chapter before tomorrow. I hope you continue to enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Not mine aside from the story line and a few characters I made up.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 14, 2015.

Ziva woke in alarm as the sound of breaking glass penetrated her blissful sleep state. Or maybe it was the smoke that was rapidly surrounding their room. Either way she was awake now and grasping at the sheets to cover her mouth. Her eyes burned whenever she tried to see so she closed them and groped around the bed. She could hear Tony rustling around next to her.

"Ziva?" His voice was still hoarse from sleep but tinged with obvious fear.

The smoke billowed and Ziva coughed into the soft sheet. "Tony we have to go."

By now she was pulling herself from the bed, sliding down to the floor. Her eyes adjusted and searched. Ziva grabbed her backpack that was underneath the bed as she crawled in the direction of the bathroom. She could tell by her preliminary search that the entire entryway of their room was engulfed in flames in an obvious attempt to keep them from getting out.

Her eyes flashed to a spherical object a mere four feet away and her blood ran cold. She knew from experience that they had less than twenty seconds now. "Tony! Run. NOW!"

She could only hope and pray to a deity she may not even believe in anymore that he was following her. It was hard to hear him over the loud alarms now blaring. The sprinkler system had turned on in conjunction and was soaking her pajamas. Ziva held her breath, stood, and bolted for the bathroom door. She couldn't see in the dense smoke so she wasn't surprised when her body crashed into the bathroom door, popping it open into the wall behind. Ziva flung her bag onto the tile floor and relief flooded her body as Tony crashed into her back.

Ziva stuck her face in her shirt to breathe. "Help me get the door off."

She was glad when Tony didn't question her but kicked at the bolts until the door splintered and fell off the hinges. She kicked her backpack out of the way as she quickly maneuvered to the bathtub. She could feel Tony groping around as he followed. She hopped into the cold porcelain tub and tugged at his pants until she felt his weight settle on top of her. Blindly, she helped him pull the wood door on top of them. In the second of silence that existed before the massive explosion, Ziva was thankful that she had a partner, a husband, a soulmate, who knew exactly what she wanted and needed without question.

Ziva gripped Tony's waist tightly as the bathtub shook with the blast. She flinched as a second one echoed and Tony pushed more of his weight onto her. Her breathing was compromised still but she was more concerned for the man on top of her. His lungs had never recovered from the _y. pestis_ all of those years ago and she knew he would not last very long in a smoke riddled atmosphere. The former Mossad Agent thought back to the moment she woke. Was she sure that she had heard only one crash of glass? No, it was three, definitely three. The first two had registered in her dream. She remembered now that the breaking glass had been out of place. The third she had woken to. It baffled her how that she had not woken at the smell of smoke or to the first crash of glass as she would have before but she pushed the thought away to consider at another time.

"Tony…" She whispered against his neck loud enough for him to hear. It took much effort and her ears were ringing loudly. "There will be a third blast and then we need to remove everything from the linen closet."

She waited until he nodded against her and then prepared herself for the blast. Once it was over, Tony moved quickly, pushing the door from his back and climbing out of the tub. Ziva followed and groped blindly toward where she remembered the closet being. With much effort they had, within 3 minutes, pulled the towels and racks from the closet, throwing them out of the open doorway. The smoke engulfed them now and Tony was coughing non-stop. Ziva grimaced and hoped they hadn't wasted too much time. She pushed the thought from her mind as she sat on the floor and began knocking on the closet walls. When she found a spot, she reared her legs back before crashing them through the closet wall. It gave way and Ziva sighed in relief. She kicked more of the drywall through, a large enough space so that she could push away anything blocking their route. When she had kicked a decent-size hole, she crawled out of the small closet and put her hands on Tony's shoulders.

He was laying on the floor, attempting to stay as far away from the poisonous smoke as possible. "Tony? Go…go through the wall."

"You.." A coughing fit stopped him from finishing his sentence.

Ziva used all of her strength left to yank his body upright. "NOW."

She helped push him through before grabbing their bags and shoving them after him. Finally she crawled through the hole herself. The adjoining bathroom was full of smoke as well and Ziva hoped that the room did not contain a large fire. She was relieved to see that it did not, however smoke was billowing underneath the door, obviously coming in from the hallway. She was sure now that the fire and explosions had likely taken the hallway and the rooms beneath the one she and Tony were in. The only option at this point was the second-story window. She watched as Tony crawled toward the window and yanked it open, flinging his head out to gasp in clear air. Ziva herself crawled toward the bed and pulled at the comforter. When it fell to the floor she shoved it in front of the door, blocking most of the smoke from continuing to enter.

"It's too high." Tony gasped out as he turned toward her.

"It is okay." Ziva assured him as she crawled back toward the bed and grabbed at the sheets. She tied one end to the bedpost and the other to the flat sheet. "Help me with the bed."

Tony had finished throwing their bags out of the window and he ducked down, crawling toward her. She could tell he had figured out her plan when he grabbed the bed frame and began pulling it toward the window. It was heavy but they managed to move it over quickly.

"You go first." Ziva ordered as they climbed onto the bed.

Tony looked out of the window again and nodded. She was sure that he only agreed because he could tell that she would have further of a drop than he and he wanted to be there just in case something went wrong. He coughed into his arm a few more times before he kissed her and began his decent down the make-shift rope. Ziva watched as he hung for a moment and then dropped before she climbed out of the window.

Once she was safely on the ground Ziva turned to him. "We have to move quickly. They will be watching us and we need to get you oxygen."

Tony coughed again and nodded, following her between the buildings. Ziva chanced a quick glance back at the tavern, which was now nearly completely engulfed in flames and falling at a rapid pace, and hoped that the other people had been able to get out quickly enough. The guilt settled in her stomach as she led Tony between the other taverns on their way to find a hospital. In the distance she could hear sirens which would prove to be too late to salvage any of the building now. Behind her Tony coughed incessantly and she grimaced. He needed oxygen soon. She didn't want to consider the situation in which his lungs didn't receive the needed air quickly enough.

When they reached a wooded area Ziva finally stopped and broke down. Her knees hit the ground hard and she winced before the onslaught of tears began.

"Ziva?" Tony coughed out, dropping his bag and kneeling next to her. He wrapped her tightly in his embrace, sliding his hand up and down her back in comfort.

"I am...so sorry." Ziva gasped out between the sobs.

"It's not your fault. It's okay." He smoothed her hair before coughing into his arm.

"How can you say that?" Ziva asked, her tone just shy of angry.

"Because it's true." Tony kissed the side of her head.

Ziva pulled back and stared into his eyes. "How is it not my fault? Am I not the one who slept with him? Am I not the one who gave him this opportunity?"

Tony shook his head as another cough racked his body. "You didn't know. You didn't know he would do this."

"I should have known." Ziva countered, looking to the ground.

"Because you're psychic? Ziva that's ridiculous." Tony rolled his eyes and rubbed her shoulder.

"What is ridiculous is that you may die because of me and I could have prevented this whole thing." Ziva whispered, too upset now to be angry at anyone but herself.

"Ziva, look at me." He waited until she lifted her eyes to meet his again before he continued. "It was a mistake and you didn't know he was planning this. You had no way of knowing and you were in a vulnerable state when you were with him. So let's just stop with the blaming yourself and focus on getting out of here."

His words were punctuated by labored breathing and sporadic coughing which caused Ziva to decide that there was a time and place for self-pity and here was not it. So she nodded and stood, pulling him with her.

"I love you." She whispered against his cheek as she held him close.

"Love you too, Sweetcheeks." She felt his stubble against her cheek as he kissed her and it made her smile.

Ziva took a breath and laced her fingers in his and pulled him along the wooded area until they came to a blue and white sign indicating the path they needed to take to get Tony the help he needed. The regret only deepened for Ziva when they arrived at the hospital and Tony used their old undercover names for protection, winking at her as he did so. Still, she knew this wasn't the time nor place either so she plastered on a smile and held his hand tighter as a nurse in blue scrubs led them back into the enclosed examination room.

* * *

_June 9, 2014._

_Ziva smiled broadly at Tony as they walked out of the doctor's office and into the bright June sun. They had just learned that the pregnancy was progressing nicely and that Ziva was not currently at risk for gestational diabetes or pre-exlampsia. Tony had beamed at her the moment the results were read and she had placed a hand on her protruding belly in thanks that she was able to do this. She had been so afraid that her body, after Somalia, would not be able to handle the stress of growing a life inside of it and lived in constant fear that it would one day reject the little fetus steadily growing. However, at 28 weeks, their baby was a few weeks past the point where it would be viable outside of her womb and the thought made Ziva breathe a sigh of relief. Tony opened the car door for her and she thanked him with a brief kiss to the cheek. The last few weeks had been a struggle for them; getting back into a work routine had meant less time together and more time to argue over who was going to do the laundry and dishes. To his credit, Tony had been picking up where Ziva was slacking due to her exhaustion most days. She often found herself restless most nights and unable to sleep longer than two hours at a time._

_Today, however, they were on their way to Andrew's first birthday party. Something that Abby had insisted on helping throw and which Ziva knew was going to be a very long day. They had gotten him a variety of toys and books and clothes which Ziva had taken the time to wrap despite knowing how little interest he would have in opening the presents. But Ziva was excited nonetheless, mostly because in a little over a year she would be throwing a similar party for the little one that was growing inside of her. She would never admit it to anyone, maybe not even Tony, but she was becoming increasingly excited for the baby and couldn't wait to meet him or her._

_When they pulled up in front of Jimmy and Breena's home, Ziva wasted no time climbing out of the car and opening the back door to retrieve the presents. But Tony stopped her, a hand on her arm._

"_I've got it." He flashed her a grin before climbing into the backseat himself to retrieve the gifts._

_Ziva waited for him on the sidewalk and as he came up beside of her she slid her arm through his, hooking onto his elbow. She looked up at him as he smiled down at her before he softly kissed her lips. It didn't surprise her until later, when the cake was being served, and she thought about it. They hadn't been in front of friends. They hadn't been at the doctor's office. It hadn't been for show. Ziva's stomach fluttered at the thought as her eyes searched the sea of people for her husband. He was leaning against the wall and watching intently as the candle was lit. She reached him just as the lights flickered off and the singing began. She leaned against the same wall, close enough to feel the warmth of his skin._

"_You know, in a little over a year, we will be doing this too for the first time." It was the first time she had let him in on her feelings involving their unborn child and though she wasn't looking at him – in fact she was staring at the cake being delivered to the blonde haired baby – she could tell he was listening intently to her; she could feel his eyes on the side of her face. "I am so excited for that moment. For the three of us. For our family." _

_Her voice was hoarse and whispered but she knew he heard her confession as he slid an arm around her back and placed the other on her protruding stomach._

"_Ziva, you will be the most wonderful mother." He whispered back, directly into her ear, causing goosebumps to erupt on her skin. _

_She smiled through threatening tears as she joined everyone in clapping as Jimmy and Breena helped the one-year-old blow out his very first candle. Tony, however, was quiet, still content to watch the face of the woman standing next to him, carrying his child._

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**A/N #2**: So, please let me know what you think! We're starting to get into the thick of it and with the premier tomorrow, I'm going to need all of the encouragement I can get to continue with this. Some of you have said that you need this story to get you through the next two weeks. In the same regard, I need you all to help me continue writing during and after the next two weeks. To my loyal readers: whatever happens tomorrow and next Tuesday, remember, we always have AU fanfiction (and each other!) to help us through it.


	16. Sixteen

**Author's Note**: Attempt number fifty-two at updating this. Sometimes I hate this site. Anyway, thank you all for the amazing reviews and wonderful encouragement! You all rock so much! This Chapter is pretty much fluff and filler. Though, as with every other chapter, I promise it serves a purpose!

**Disclaimer**: If I owned NCIS, Ziva would never leave. Also, this Chapter may or may not be a product of my sadness about tomorrow's episode (read as: it definitely is).

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 17, 2015.

"You are okay, yes?" Ziva glanced back at Tony as his coughing gradually subsided.

After allowing Tony to stay at the hospital for the entirety of the first day as the fictitious Jean-Paul Rainier, they had been traveling again for the last three days and had made it almost to St. John's Beach. Despite signing himself out against medical advice, Tony had steadily gained back some strength; his lungs slowly learning to fill to capacity again without strain. However, he still had many moments where the hospital-obtained inhaler was necessary for him to use in order to continue onward. Ziva, on the other hand, had spent most of the first day sitting next to his sleeping form in the hospital issued covert-a-chair, terrified that they would tell her he needed a double lung transplant at any moment. The rest of the day she spent chastising herself for getting them into the predicament they were currently in. Gibbs' voice often popped into her head, reminding her of something he had once said. _Hindsight is always 20/20_. She had never understood what he had meant until now.

Tony finished inhaling the medicinal fumes and grinned at her. "Yep. Good as new."

Ziva rolled her eyes with a smile as she waited for him to catch up, kissing his cheek when he did. They held hands the rest of the way into town, using Tony's map to navigate out of the heavily wooded area to the quaint beach town of St. John's. The air was slightly salty here and the wind heavier, which made breathing easier for Tony. The first spot they came to was an old diner and Tony eagerly pulled Ziva in, claiming that his time in the woods had left him famished and in dire need of sustenance. Ziva laughed at his exaggeration though admitted that she was hungry as well and it was likely the only place in town that served food that late anyway.

Tony slid into the booth beside of Ziva when the waitress led them to their seat and Ziva raised an eyebrow in response. Tony said nothing in return, simply kissed her shoulder and picked up the menu, as if they sat this way every time they dined out together. She eyed him warily as she tried to focus on ordering her own food while Tony ended up ordering what must have amounted to the entire menu; Ziva could only decide on the Belgian waffle when the waitress came back to take their order. Tony busied himself with a toy claiming to be the "Original IQ Tester" but which looked more like a triangle with golf tees stuck in random holes, while Ziva distracted herself by tapping Hebrew songs on Tony's jean-clad leg. They continued the silence until their waitress, accompanied by another waitress, brought their food to them. Ziva sighed as Tony began devouring the numerous plates of food, picking some from each mostly with his fingers.

"You are a pig, Tony." Ziva scrunched her nose at him. It was his usual way of eating for as long as she could remember and it was the one thing that had never grown on her.

He smiled widely at her despite a mouthful of pancakes. "But you love me."

Ziva shook her head, curling her lip in disgust at his poor manners. "But I do."

He winked and they went back to eating quietly. For her part, Ziva did not mind the silence. It allowed her to be alone with her thoughts and with Tony pressed tightly against her, her thoughts never strayed too far away him. Their situation was intense and terrifying but having him by her side every day made the fight worth it. She had realized, somewhere between here and Virginia, that he was what was getting her through. He reminded her of all that she had to fight for, every day. He was her past, a steady reminder of where she had come from. And he was her future, a wonderful reminder of what was head of her.

He must have noticed her staring at him and she watched as he wiped his mouth and turned toward her. "I love you." He kissed her shoulder again, then her cheek. "You are so beautiful."

Ziva's deep brown eyes welled up with tears that threatened to spill over. Her hair was a mess and she hadn't showered in three days and she could feel the dirt caked into her skin and she was sure that she did not smell pleasant at all. Except Tony did not see any of that. Though, it didn't surprise her. She had spent many years with him at NCIS, dirty and damaged and wounded, and he never looked at her differently. Instead, he would put an arm around her, or use his finger to wipe off the dirt smeared on her face, or tousle her hair in the way only he could do. And his eyes would never shut up. They would never stop telling her how beautiful he thought she was, even when he didn't have the courage to say it to her out loud.

"I love you too." She whispered back, emotion hindering her full voice.

He smiled at her and they ate the rest of their meal quickly before paying and making their way a few blocks over to the beach. The sun was setting and the air was much cooler now, causing Ziva to shiver. Tony put an arm around her as they made their way up the walkway and stairs to the porch of McGee's beach house. Tony slid the key in and swung the door open, pausing before flipping the switch on the inside wall to illuminate the area. They searched quickly before making their way up the stairs and into the bathroom, too exhausted from the previous days to consider poking around.

Tonight, they agreed to shower together, scrubbing away the grime of the last three days and caressing bone-deep aches and pains. When finished, Tony gathered Ziva in a soft, entirely-too-large bathrobe before he carried her to bed and tucked her beneath the warm down comforter. As he crawled in behind her, she moved back so that no room was left between and entwined their fingers, pulling his arm snuggling around her.

"Goodnight Mr. DiNozzo." She brought their clasped hands up to kiss his knuckles.

"Goodnight Mrs...David." He mumbled into her still-wet hair, too tired to over-analyze the name he used.

It was the little pain in her chest at the falter that made Ziva vow that when they made it home – if they made it home – she would legally change her name so that when anyone asked, she could tell them that she _is_ Mrs. DiNozzo, Tony's wife, and so that her husband didn't need to falter when he used her name; he would just know that she was his.

* * *

_July 25, 2014._

_The sound of ringing coming from the computer made Ziva jump as she finished mixing the large pitcher of lemonade. She looked around, waiting to see if anyone else would come in from outside and claim the call as their own. Truthfully, Ziva was confused. Everyone who would need to contact her were currently out back in her swimming pool, basking in the hot July sun. Except Gibbs, and he would never use the computer to do so. Ziva frowned as she let go of the spoon and padded barefoot out into the living room where her computer sat on the coffee table. She sat on the couch and pulled it onto her lap before squinting at the screen. 'Adam Eshel.' She looked to her right, out of the sliding glass doors separating her from her friends briefly as she pressed the green 'connect' button._

_Ziva ran a hand through her unruly hair as the screen flickered and Adam's face illuminated the screen. She felt herself smiling as his dark features grinned back in response._

"_Ziva." His accent was somehow deeper than she remembered and she felt herself blushing out of habit._

"_Adam." Her eyebrow lifted, arching in question. She had not heard from him in over a year and didn't understand why he would be contacting her now.  
_

"_I bet you are wondering why I have called." Well, it wasn't that he was stupid._

_Ziva smirked. "Yes."_

"_I have missed you." Adam flashed his pearly whites at her again and Ziva stopped herself from rolling her eyes. The dimples only worked for one man these days._

"_Is that so?" She would only play this game so far with him. She absentmindedly twirled the rings on her left finger as she waited for a response. _

"_Oh, definitely." Ziva snuck a glance at the door again and smiled when she saw Tony run past it, a soaking wet Abby trailing behind him. "When are you coming back to Israel, my dear?"_

_His question brought her back to the present and she turned her attention toward him again. "Oh, I do not think that is advised any time soon, Adam."_

_She watched as he frowned. "No? Too afraid of the trouble we could get into together?" _

_Ziva bit her lip. Really, it was now or never. And honestly she wasn't sure why she had hesitated so long to tell him. In fact, she wasn't even sure why she answered his call in the first place. Nostalgia, maybe. "Oh, I think I can manage trouble on my own." _

"_Is that so?" He mimicked her earlier question and she moved the laptop to sit back on the coffee table and tilted the screen so that the top half of her body was showing._

_Ziva used her left hand to smooth her pink and blue striped cover-up over her protruding belly. 35 weeks was definitely hard to miss and she really wouldn't have to say it out loud. She watched his face, only slight surprise registering. She would file that response away to ponder later. He, however, did sit back and run a hand down his face, to his credit. _

"_Wow." He leaned back in toward the camera. "Tony?"_

_Ziva blushed, a smile creeping in; often her reaction to the thought of her husband lately. "You are smarter than you look."_

"_Ohh." She watched as he clutched his heart in mock agony. "Kick me when I am already down." _

"_You will survive, yes?" She smiled, letting him know that she was simply joking._

_He didn't get to respond before the sliding door opened and Tony bellowed into the house. "Bambina! I'm thirsty and if I don't get some fluids in me soon I'm going to die. And also I will drip water all over your newly cleaned floors." _

_Ziva momentarily forgot about Adam and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling, though the smile plastered on her face was a clear indicator that the irritation was only a formality. She responded loudly in a sing-song tone. "I will kill you in your sleep."_

"_Looking forward to it, Sweetcheeks." He called into the house before slamming the door._

_Ziva rolled her eyes heaven-ward, more serious this time. She hated when he slammed the doors and worried that one time the glass would shatter behind him._

"_I do not think I will survive if Tony knows I am calling his wife for video chats." Adam smirked outwardly, though his eyes betrayed his true feelings about the matter._

_Ziva's stomach flipped at that but she ignored it and continued the banter. "You may be correct."_

"_Goodbye Ziva." He offered a small smile and wave before disconnecting their chat without allowing her to say goodbye in return._

"_Goodbye Adam." Ziva whispered to the black screen before shutting the lid and standing. _

_She moved back to the kitchen and grabbed the lemonade pitcher from the counter, removing the spoon and placing it in the sink. When she made her way back out onto the porch, she smiled at Abby and Tim who were laughing and splashing each other in the pool. She jumped slightly as Tony came up beside of her, taking the pitcher from her hands. He grinned before sliding an arm around her back and pulling her as close to him as her pregnant belly would allow. She bit her lip as he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her face toward him. She couldn't help the sigh that escaped when his lips met hers. When he asked to deepen it by sliding his tongue along her bottom lip, Ziva willingly let him. She gripped at the wet hairs on the back of his neck and moaned when his tongue slid against hers. Her heart fluttered at how softly he was holding her. Though never one for public displays of affection, Ziva found that she didn't mind so much Tony's attempts at testing the waters by being overly affectionate around their friends. In fact, she was starting to look forward to the next dinner party or outing to see what Tony would do next. _

"_Oh gross. You already got her pregnant, Tony, you don't need to keep trying!" Tim yelled from the pool, interrupting the cocoon they were currently in._

"_Tim! They are so cute!" Abby squealed next to him, followed by a loud splash that Ziva could only assume was directed at Tim._

_Tony chuckled as he pulled back, kissing Ziva softly once more before letting go. He winked at her before running toward the pool. "Thanks a lot, McInterruption." _

_Ziva laughed loudly as Tony canon-balled into the pool right next to Tim, causing waves to crash into his startled face. She watched as the three of them swam and played and couldn't help but be thankful once again that her child would be brought into a world full of people who would love it unconditionally, even if they weren't blood-related. Her mind drifted briefly to her biological family but she shook the thoughts away, knowing that even if things had turned out differently in her life, in the end she would still choose these people to help raise her child. _

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**A/N #2**: I truly appreciate the overwhelming response to continue this story and I promise not to abandon it before the end. I know tomorrow will be extremely difficult for most of us and I hope that I can continue to deliver this alternate Season 11 story so that you can continue to have something to look forward to each week, regardless of whether or not you continue to watch NCIS. I hope that this Tiva fandom can continue to thrive on our own and I am sending you all the biggest of hugs for this next episode!


	17. Seventeen

**A/N**: Thank you all SO much for the wonderful reviews! It's nice to see some new readers! I am terribly sorry for the delay. It's been a combination of writers block and lack of time. I've had this written it just didn't flow the way I wanted it to so I couldn't post until I was sure. I'm still not 100% but I feel like it's probably as good as it gets for this Chapter.

**Disclaimer**: If I owned NCIS and the characters, this is obviously what I would do with them.

**Warning**: Most of this is either NC-17 or very questionable. In fact, if you skip the whole Chapter I don't think you'll miss too much. It's mostly smut and fluff because I'm mad at the NCIS writers.

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_You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless._

December 18, 2015.

Ziva woke this time to a tickle of skin on her mid-thigh and she blinked against the light beginning to stream in from the window. Her mind was still hazy from sleep as she rubbed lazily at her eyes. Her thigh twitched out of its own volition as it registered a soft sucking. Ziva's eyes flew open at the sensation and she looked down. Only the top of Tony's head could be seen and she realized she had fallen asleep in the large bathrobe which was now open, completely exposing the front of her body. A blush rose up her chest to her face.

"Tony?" She whispered loudly enough to rouse him from his current mission.

"Hmm?" He mumbled against her inner thigh, not bothering to look up or stop what he was doing. Instead, his right hand snaked up her left thigh, moving over her hipbone and settling on her ribcage.

"What are you..." Ziva trailed off as his kissing moved higher and she could feel the scruff on his face brush against her naked center.

Tony chuckled and continued kissing, skipping completely over where she wanted him and focusing instead on her other thigh. His left hand joined the right as they trailed further up her body and grasped her breasts. Ziva arched into his hands, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. His kisses her to thighs were sloppy and open-mouthed and she could feel herself getting wetter with each passing moment.

She felt his hot breath against her and she reached down to grip the back of his head in anticipation and in case he decided to move again. He didn't move away, instead he latched onto her, open mouth and all tongue, causing her knees to lift and legs to spread wider. His own moans vibrated through her core and urged her on and she held onto his head, gripping tighter. It was so hot and her breath was coming in short pants now, her hips jumping to meet his mouth and trying to feel more of him. The sounds coming from him were equally erotic and served to make her toes curl into the sheets beneath them. His sucking became more intense and her thighs quivered in anticipation. The haze and warmth and his mouth were quickly unraveling her as she fought to hold on just a little longer. It soon became apparent to Ziva that his goal wasn't just to make her wet but instead make her explode, so her nails on one hand dug into his scalp as her other hand found his and entwined their fingers, preparing for the inevitable. She knew he could feel her tensing because he doubled his efforts, sucking and swirling and flicking. Her stomach clenched and a moment later she was unraveling, biting her lip hard to keep from waking any neighbors. He was gentle and soft as he kissed her back down to reality afterward before he climbed up her body to kiss her fully on the mouth.

"Morning." He smirked at her from above, his erection digging into her thigh.

Her eyes were fluttering at the overload of stimuli so close to waking but she gathered her strength, enough to flip them over so that she was now straddling him, her hair falling in waves and enveloping them. Ziva reached down and took him in her hand, shuddering softly at how hard he was. She watched as he closed his eyes when she gripped him tightly and began moving her hand up and down. A few more moments and his own hand came down on top of hers to still her efforts. His eyes were blazing and she knew what he needed so she lifted herself and positioned him at her entrance before sinking down slowly. He gasped and she bit her lip at the overwhelming sensation. She put her hands on his chest as leverage and began to lift her hips again when he stopped her.

"Ziva, wait." He was having a hard time and she could feel his muscles twitching beneath her hands.

"Yes?" She ground her hips down onto him, sealing them tightly together.

"Jesus Christ." His eyes rolled back before he began again. "We need...protection."

Ziva wasn't sure what came over her but she just stared down at him before lifting her hips and then quickly dropping them. His eyes flew open and locked with hers. She wasn't sure what message she was even trying to convey but he must have gotten it because his hands went down to her hips to help her ride him. Maybe they were risking a lot trying to chance it but she needed to feel close to him for a reason she couldn't yet articulate. Her hips snapped quicker and his legs bent, causing her to fall forward at a better angle. She kissed him hard as their thrusts became wilder and more erratic. Their kissing became sloppier the closer they came to release and Ziva finally broke it off at the familiar tightening of her stomach.

"I want to hear you." Tony whispered into her ear as he continued to pound furiously.

"Tony..." She trailed off as her back arched and her eyes clenched tightly.

"Come for me, Ziva." His mouth latched onto her clavicle and he bit down.

"Tony!" Her body seized, gripping him like a vice, and she heard him moan beneath her before she could feel him twitching inside of her.

They stayed that way for a while, Ziva sprawled across his chest and Tony's arms snug around her, until Ziva untangled herself from his limbs and climbed out of bed.

"Come back, it's cold." Tony murmured as he watched her saunter toward the bathroom.

Ziva paused in the doorway, turning her head back toward him. "The shower is not."

She could hear the comforter fall to the ground as she walked through the doorway before his voice reached her. "I'm up. I'm coming."

"Not yet, I hope." She said loudly enough for him to hear as she pulled two towels from the cabinet.

"Mrs. David!" He exclaimed, feigning shock as he hurried into the bathroom in pursuit of his wife.

Ziva chuckled and turned on the shower before his arms came around her and he hoisted her up into the front of him. "I heard that."

"It was meant for you to hear, Mr. DiNozzo." She quirked an eyebrow up at him before kissing his lips soundly.

She climbed into the shower, Tony in tow, and sighed as the hot water hit her back and began wetting her long hair. Ziva felt Tony's strong arms engulf her body as he moved in closer. She leaned back, letting the water fall now between their bodies, the mix of hot and cold causing her to shiver. She let him hold her for another few minutes before she spoke up. "What is the plan now, Tony?"

"You mean aside from ravishing you in the shower?" She could feel his smirk on her cheek.

"Yes." She breathed, his lips were trailing down her neck now. "After this."

He must have sensed something because he pulled back, just enough to look her in the eyes through the cascading water. "We drive to Florida. No more hiking and sleeping outside in tents. We just drive now, you and me."

She knew he was referring to the black Lamborghini parked in the small garage that Tim had obviously kept hidden from them as well so she nodded and pulled him close again. "And then?"

He sighed and held her tighter. "And then we wait for them."

Ziva shivered again, not due to any outside influence, and tucked her head against his chest, clinging to him in the small shower. She knew they would have some time before they came for them but had no idea how much time they would be afforded. She did know one thing though, that when she thought about the predicament she was in and the hard battle ahead, she knew she didn't want anyone else by her side except for the man currently holding her tightly in his arms.

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_August 12, 2014._

_She should have known that when he offered to take her on a proper 'date' to the movie theater that he was only doing so to get her out of their house in order for Abby to set up the surprise baby shower. It wasn't often that Ziva David was actually surprised; usually her fine-tuned senses told her something was wrong before she actually had time to scope out the problem. Today, however, was another story. That's why she found herself standing in the doorway to her own home, stock-still in shock, with 30 people staring straight back at her, large smiles plastered to their faces. The first thing her brain could think to do was burst into tears. Now, embarrassed and standing in front of 30 people whose smiles were fading faster than the evening sun in December, Ziva let her hand fall from the door knob as she lifted it to cover her mouth. She couldn't place the feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach, overwhelmed and suddenly grieving for the person she used to be. The fact that tears were falling down her face faster than she could blink was not helping matters either. She could feel Tony come up behind her and relief washed over her. At least she could count on him to fix this problem with humor. She also knew that, by the look on his face, they would be having a conversation later about her reaction to this surprise._

"_Woah! Hey!" His eyes flickered to hers, assessing her mental state, before looking at the 30 people standing in his foyer and living room. "I don't think Ziva knew she had that many friends!"_

_Laughter bubbled in her chest and Ziva found herself smiling through her tears. Apparently everyone else had decided that it was now okay to laugh once they saw her smiling and a soft chuckle settled over the room before talking commenced and everyone began to move again. Abby was first to hug her, whispering hushed apologies in her ear at the intrusion. Ziva reassured her and thanked her for the thoughtfulness and for gathering so many people to celebrate her baby. When she had finished greeting everyone quickly, Abby whisked her away to the backyard where the forensic specialist had set up numerous tables and elaborate decorations._

"_Abby…I do not know…" Tears sprang to her eyes again and Ziva hastily wiped at them, frustrated at herself for the onslaught of emotions she was apparently unable to control today._

"_Aww Ziva! It's okay." Abby wrapped her arms around the former Agent and hugged her tightly. "This is what family does."_

_Ziva's heart clenched at her words and she nodded into her black hair before Abby pulled back and began bouncing up and down._

"_Time for games! I'm so excited!" Abby clapped her hands ecstatically before bouncing off back into the house to scream 'game time' at the guests._

_Ziva watched her go and chuckled at her enthusiasm before looking back out to the pool and yard and the beautiful decorations. Her thoughts drifted to her own family and their obvious absence from today's festivities. Even if she had wanted them there, there weren't very many left to invite anyway. Maybe Aunt Nettie, but she was too old to be traveling across the country for a simple baby shower. Her heart though still ached for her sister and brother and father and mother, and it made her question what kind of parent she would be. Her child would never know his or her maternal family and that both worried and relieved her. Ziva rubbed her stomach and looked down when she caught a kick to the rib. Heritage was important to Ziva and it concerned her that her child would never know that part of itself. _

_Her thoughts were interrupted by a scuffling of feet behind her but she didn't turn around to look because she already knew from the hairs standing up on the back of her neck who it was. She heard a clink of what she could only assume was a beer bottle being placed on a table before strong arms wrapped around her protruding stomach from behind. Ziva leaned back into his burly frame and closed her eyes, happy that he was giving the affection she so desperately needed at the moment regardless of whether it was for show or not._

"_They love you Zi. We all do." Maybe that was as close as he was ever going to get to saying he loved her and she'd take it. "So whatever is going on in that pretty little head of yours, tell it to stop."_

_Ziva considered his words a moment before she nodded, eyes still closed. "I…"_

_She trailed off, unsure of what to say or where she was going with it. Tony's head dropped to nuzzle at her neck nearest her ear before he spoke again. "You're going to be a fantastic mother. I know that neither of us really have biological families but I know that our kid won't suffer because of it. We have a great family here and he or she will be loved all around."_

_Her heart hammered; somehow he always knew exactly what was on her mind. She turned in his arms and leaned forward before kissing him softly. "Thank you."_

_His eyes were firing a hundred different messages that both confused and elated her when she opened her eyes again to look at him but she waited for him to speak again._

_The grin spreading across his face told her that he wasn't ready to discuss any of it so she sucked in a deep breath and braced herself. "Now, take your pretty little Israeli behind over to that frilly chair and let yourself be the center of attention for once."_

_She smirked at him and let him kiss her forehead before making her way over to the frilly chair in the center of the yard. Guests poured out onto the porch a second later and Ziva stole one more glance over to Tony who was standing by the sliding glass door now with Gibbs and Tim. He winked at her and offered a smile that made her blush before her attention was stolen by Abby's command that 'Baby Jeopardy' was about to commence. _

_Hours later, after numerous games of trivia about her and Tony and guessing baby food flavors and the number of M&M's in a bottle and opening presents and copious amounts of cake, Ziva found herself half asleep on their couch from the exhaustion. The last of the guests had left twenty minutes ago, leaving only herself, Tony and Abby; the latter was set on putting everything back the way she had found it. _

"_You can go home Abbs, we will get it in the morning." She heard Tony's soft voice travel through the room._

"_It's okay, I can help. I'm the one who made the mess." Abby's voice fluttered from further away at first but a moment later it was loud and clear and Ziva was sure they were watching her. "You really love her, don't you?"_

_The long pause of silence made Ziva's heart rate speed up and she struggled to keep her breath even so they wouldn't know she wasn't yet asleep. She wasn't even sure she was ready to hear his answer yet. She needed time to brace herself. It wasn't likely that he would say no, considering Abby assumed their marriage and pregnancy was done out of love. But Ziva herself would know if his 'yes' really meant 'no' or 'as a friend' and she had to protect her heart from that realization. The not knowing, she had decided many months ago, was better right now than the knowing. But she couldn't help whatever was about to come out of his mouth, if anything, so she focused on the fluttering feet kicking at her stomach instead._

"_Yes." It was sure, deliberate, unequivocal, and Ziva fought the urge to open her eyes._

_She did, however, have the sinking suspicion that he knew she wasn't asleep. He had fallen asleep next to her every night for the last eight months and, at any rate, he was always able to judge her authenticity. But she kept on, eyes closed and breath even, until she heard them banging around in the kitchen again. It wasn't long after that that she did, in fact, fall asleep, only to be woken again by a hand on her shoulder. Her body jolted until her eyes fixed on Tony's face and she relaxed. _

"_Just wanted to take you to bed." He whispered near her face once he knew she wasn't going to punch him. Her eyebrow raised at his choice of wording and she watched as he chuckled. "Miss David, get your mind out of the gutter."_

_She batted at his arm while he hoisted her, bridal style, into his arms._

"_Tony." Ziva warned. She knew she had to be heavy, carrying the extra baby weight, and it wouldn't be good for his knees._

"_Ziva." His tone was nonchalant, indicating that she was not going to win the battle this time because he wouldn't be participating, so she let him carry her that way into their bedroom and place her on their bed. _

_When he helped her pull her maternity jeans off it caused a heat to rise up her chest and a wave of excitement to course through her body. She blamed the slow, steady throb on her pregnancy hormones but a little part of her knew better; it was his piercing eyes and gentle touch that made her want him. She locked eyes with him as she felt the tips of his fingers ghost across her right leg, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He was kneeling on the edge of the bed now as he slid his hand down underneath her thigh and lifted, bending her right leg as she watched him take in the sight of her. She blushed at his appreciation before watching him do the same to the other leg. Once done he positioned himself between her legs and over-extended his arms to lean over top of her without pressing down on her belly. He kissed her cheeks first before claiming her mouth. Her left hand snaked to the back of his neck while the right clutched tightly to his shirt. _

_He broke the kiss and trailed his mouth up her jaw bone to her ear. "God, you're so beautiful." _

_His husky tone shot right through her and she groaned into his ear. "Tony, I…"_

_She stopped herself again, unsure of the proper words. She knew they should talk about this before they jumped into something again; not talking about it had produced a baby the last time. But she didn't want to stop him, not that she felt she could. Her body had a mind of its own lately and all she could ever seem to think about most of the time was Tony doing the most delicious things to her. _

_He seemed to understand her hesitation and he chuckled into her ear. "Horny?" _

_His tongue snaked out to lick behind her ear and she bit her lip. Yes! was the answer but she didn't want him to know yet how close her body already was just by having his lips on her. His mouth was making its way down her chest when a shrill sound rang out near the nightstand. Tony stopped and Ziva cursed under her breath. _

_His forehead rested on her chest for a moment before he begrudgingly climbed off of her, whispering an apology against her skin. She could tell by the look on his face after he had answered with the usual 'DiNozzo' that it was work and he was being called in and that they would have to finish what they started some time later. _

_Hours after he had gone and she had taken the edge off herself, Ziva laid awake in bed watching the numbers on the clock flip over. She smoothed a hand over the blankets still neat on his side of the bed and for the first time felt a pang of sadness at his absence. However, when she strolled into the bullpen at 4:03 a.m., baring coffee and donuts, she told him that her presence there was due to the gymnastics of their little one and not the all-encompassing need she felt to just be near him. _

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**A/N**: Reviews are always welcome. Thank you all so much and I hope that you're not too heartbroken from 11x02. If so, I gladly welcome you to continue to reject reality here with me!


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